Imperial Guard

[Aunel]

why is everybody here so tau fanboy?
why no eldar, if I were a guardsman, I would if I could have gone to eldar
but they would have used me as a meat shield too...

Tau actually accept humans, Eldar shoot you.

Awesome Fire Warrior or dead Eldar shield?

I would rather be dead then work with fish-people

 

[MasterSqueak]

why is everybody here so tau fanboy?
why no eldar, if I were a guardsman, I would if I could have gone to eldar
but they would have used me as a meat shield too...

Tau actually accept humans, Eldar shoot you.

Awesome Fire Warrior or dead Eldar shield?

I would rather be dead then work with fish-people

They are blue, not fish. They have no gills or fins.

 

[Disjointed Entity]

Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.

Roll a D100

1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the Sisters of Battle.

Use this to roll
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm

 

[Scobie]

DELETED

 

[DP-Preacher]

Personally, I would look into contacting Jim Raynor to see if I could instead join his far superior gaming universe. Tee-hee.

Lol, seriously though, being an imperial guardsman would suck. I'd follow my comrades into battle and get owned in the face, hoping that our numbers are enough to overcome the enemy.

 

[BladesofReason]

Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.

Roll a D100

56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.

I rolled a 58, that's not bad all things considered
If I had a choice and was trained as a guardsman I would probably be a fairly faithful soldier.

Though, as you can probably tell my allegiances lie with the Eldar.

PS. Kroot are little match for Space Marines.

 

[Kazturkey]

I'm your commissar and I'm shooting you cowardly nubs in the kneecaps.

 

[XUnsafeNormalX]

Man the %*#& up and charge.

 

[War Chief Will]

Well from what i can think of from the top of my head......

I would work my way up to the rank of commisar or higher. Then rebel against the emperor because of relising the wars fought throughtout the universe have not brought all races closer to peace and the mistreatment of guardsmen on the battlefield.

 

[Bobbovski]

Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.

Roll a D100

1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the Sisters of Battle.

Use this to roll
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm

I rolled a 41... I get a lasgun, frag grenades and flak armor... Basically an ordinary guardsman... Yay? =S

My second roll gave me a 79... Armored sentinel driver! Naw... why couldn't I have rolled 79 on my first roll? =(

 

[Desaari]

Guys, can you give me a link or something so i know what youre all talking about, this thing sounds awesome

They are talking about warhammer 40k, its a minature table top game.

Links?, the most I can find is random wiki pages and those are crap for what this thread is about

http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Warhammer_40k_Wiki

That looks like the best site on the first page of the google search I did. other than that try games workshop.

thanks

It also got turned into a popular RTS computer game series called Dawn of War.

I definately wouldn't run; that way you end up either shot by a Commissar, or becoming one of the "Last Chancers". I'd just do the best I could, hope I survive, and get promoted or re-assigned to like a heavy weapon crew. Or become a Storm Trooper or something elite like that.

 

[Ching]

I'd probably defect to the Tau empire. Their weapons are far better (play against tau if you don't belive me) and there ideals are far better i.e. actually allowing retreats when it's sensible instead of throwing men into the meat grinder and shooting them when there is clearly no hope. The only problem with that is i'd miss humanity as in women, socialising, but since were on about Imperial Guardsmen who never see home again anyway then For the Greater Good!

 

[Spacelord]

Yeah, I'd probably try to get reassigned to the tank division as soon as possible. Not that the chances are better or anything, its just I'd rather be blown up in a tank than suffer the many other myriad really nasty and unpleasant deaths awaiting the unarmoured guardsman.

Actually, your almost guaranteed to burn alive in a tank.

Reading a few of the Dark Eldar weapon entries, being burned alive sounds like a frickin' pic-nic. Tank division for me, please!

 

[blackcherry]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

Remember, these are women who are religious fanatics. You make a pass at them or do something as silly as coughing at a service, before you can scream 'heratic' out come the flamers...

SOB are not Celibate. They are allowed, and DO have sex.

Oh yeah I know that. Just saying that what they have higher standards than most people is all. The kind of standards that will see you dead rather than 'tainting the purity' of a Sister of Battle.

 

[Simriel]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

Remember, these are women who are religious fanatics. You make a pass at them or do something as silly as coughing at a service, before you can scream 'heratic' out come the flamers...

SOB are not Celibate. They are allowed, and DO have sex.

Oh yeah I know that. Just saying that what they have higher standards than most people is all. The kind of standards that will see you dead rather than 'tainting the purity' of a Sister of Battle.

Well apparently they sleep with overweight scribes.

 

[Volstag9]

knowing me I'll be the first one shot. =)

 

[blackcherry]

Apply to be a Liaison/Diplomat to the 'Sisters of Battle'.

As such I'd avoid warfare and be surrounded by an army of women. It could always be worse...

Remember, these are women who are religious fanatics. You make a pass at them or do something as silly as coughing at a service, before you can scream 'heratic' out come the flamers...

SOB are not Celibate. They are allowed, and DO have sex.

Oh yeah I know that. Just saying that what they have higher standards than most people is all. The kind of standards that will see you dead rather than 'tainting the purity' of a Sister of Battle.

Well apparently they sleep with overweight scribes.

Fair enough. I'm not as up to date with my 40K lore as I used to be now that I've had to get a life. Whats that info from then?

 

[irishstormtrooper]

Try to get into one of the heavy weapons crews.