In Case Of.....

[Sassafrass]

Make sure it isn't me in drag.

In case of it being me in drag.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

... call an ambulance! ASAP!! And request a hot nurse!

In case of gore-splatter in the sink...

 

[Sassafrass]

Sue Jack Thompson. No idea why, just do it.

In case of 'Just doing it'.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...kill the person who made up that stupid slogan.

In case of stupid-slogan-maker being invulnerable...

 

[Sassafrass]

Give him to Jabba the Hut, he'll take care of him.

In case of Jabba being out.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...just go the Pit of Carkoon yourself. Take the exit towards Mos Eisly off the freeway, you can't miss it.

In case of Boba Fett shooting you many, many times in the face...

 

[Sassafrass]

Continue to underrate it.

In case of R2D2 having nude pics inside.

[sup]It's true, the actor confirmed it.[/sup]

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...have your childhood be somewhat traumatized and ruined for you.

In case of Bruce Campbell refusing to ever act again...

 

[Sassafrass]

Come back to life and somehow curse him.

In case of Bruce Campbell being Bruce Lee.

 

[Sassafrass]

Make sure it isn't dislocated...

In case of Bruce Lee Bruce Campbell showdown.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...wonder how he can fight himself.

In case of axe-wielding Jack Nicholson...

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Get camera, and stay away from epic shock waves.

In case of e. coli...

Edit:Ninja'd, but it still works... somewhat.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...wash hands until the flesh falls from the bone. It's the only way to be sure.

In case of flesh falling from the bone...

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...have your misfortune laughed at by a chinchilla.

In case of a chinchilla laughing mockingly at you...

 

[Sassafrass]

FALCON PUNCH IT!!!!!

In case of punching chinchillas.