In Case Of.....

[WafflesandBacon]

... Google search it

in case of over use of the CAPS LOCK

 

[Sassafrass]

DESTROY YOUR CAPS LOCK BUTTON!

IN CASE OF CAPS LOCK BEING STUCK ON PERMANENTLY.

 

[Azraellod]

...hold down the shift key to cancel it out.

In case of incorrect use of the word perplexity...

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...buy a dictionary and hang your head in shame.

In case of carnivorous dictionary...

 

[Azraellod]

...stop taking your books from the haunted library.

In case of living to 150...

 

[Sassafrass]

Say smoking was the reason why.

In case of not living to 150.

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...say smoking killed you.

In case of a rusty nail lodged in your brain...

 

[Azraellod]

...paint yourself green and pretend to be Frankenstein's monster.

In case of looking like a monster...

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...go with the flow and pretend to be a monster.

In case of villagers taking you too seriously and chasing you with pitchforks and torches...

 

[Azraellod]

...go into an easily flammable building. Never get out of character.

In case of going out of character...

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...kill yourself. The shame would be too much to live with.

In case of thirty year old can of Mountain Dew...

 

[Azraellod]

...drink. The poison settling at the bottom will improve it.

In case of surprise attacks...

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

...spit ink at them.

In case of Octopus attack...

 

[Azraellod]

...pour acid on it. Contact with octopi disgusts me.

In case of revulsion...

 

[nastar]

Throw up and walk away slowly.

In case of matrix

 

[ShotgunShaman]

...Bring a trench coat.
In case of dyslexia...

 

[Azraellod]

...become a millionaire.
[sup]I heard somewhere that 95% of millionaires are dyslexic, although I cant remember where. School probably.[/sup]

In case of not being a millionaire...

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...blame your lack of dyslexia.

In case of being hospitalized from trying to give yourself dyslexia...

 

[Azraellod]

...stop being such a damn fool.

In case of being an idiot...

 

[Last of the Chinchillas]

...blame poor parenting and the public education system.

[sub]Or Tom Cruise.[/sub]

In case of blood suddenly shooting from your nipples...