In My Defense...

[Ren3004]

In my defense, it was asking for it.


You gave me a jaguar as a gift. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't a car.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, peices of humans are disturbing gifts.

You set a really good guitar store on fire!

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, it was cold outside.

you distracted me from what i was supposed to be doing.

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I thought it was taking up too much space on the street.


You set a really good person on fire.

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, watching them suffering was amusing.

you nailed my hands to each other.

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, you just said burning people was fun.


You got everyone in the world to click on a Rick Roll link at the same time.

 

[Lynx]

In my defense it was fucking funny.

You stole a policeman's hat!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I wanted a ride to the police station and was afraid to ask.


You put chewing gum in your co-worker's USB port.

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I thought that it was the rest of the world twirling around me.

You gave me a slice of blue cheese. As in, cheese painted blue.

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, it was fun watching you rinse out your mouth in disgust.

you ate my soap.

 

[Lynx]

In my defense, my mouth was dirty.

You ate an albatross.

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I heard it tasted like chicken and wanted to see if it was true.

You told me albatrosses tasted like chicken.

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, i'm a cat. i eat birds. it's practically my job, except it isn't.
in my defense, i still think they do. everything tastes like chicken after a while anyway.

you accused me of doing something i was supposed to do.

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I was supposed to accuse you.


You paid me to like you.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, you did it horribly wrong.
In my defense, you already did, I was just lending you money so you could buy yourself lunch.

You shot down my pet falcon!

 

[Lynx]

In my defense, it punched me.

You're pretending to be a horse!

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, only by the phrase "you are what you eat". nothing more then that.
[sup]if that phrase were true , we would all be horrible freaks by now[/sup]
in my defense, it's so i can get close enough to the rest of them to kill one of them.

you rammed a nail in my ear.