In My Defense...

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, i had to go to the hospital because i had a black eye.

You drove my car into a lake!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, it needed to be washed.


You stole my flaming sword.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you were using it as a barbecue set. Horrible misuse of the thing.

You didn't burn a hobo!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense he burned a fire in my heart.

You dowsed my heart fire.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you said it hurt like hell. I was trying to help.

You called me a damn dirty spammer!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I was seeing double and thought you had double posted.


You filled my car with stink bombs.

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, now it doesn't have that hideous new car smell

You didn't go to Oktoberfest

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I'm 19. It would be a waste of time.

You had me locked in a room for three days!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, the world needed 3 days to replenish the whale population.


You hit me in the head with a hammer.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, i was planning a surprise party for you and you couldn't see!

You ruined my surprise party for you!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense any amount of surprise can give me a heart attack, it's why I can never play and win the lottery.

You bought a lotto ticket!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, the TV said it would made me rich. Wouldn't you buy one?


You filled my car with snakes.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, i saw you admiring them at the zoo and thought it would be an awesome valentines gift.

You broke my heart!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, they gave me a venti caramel vanilla lemon frappucino with chocolate sprinkles. How could I say no?



You opened a Starbucks right in front of my bedroom.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I made over $1000 from joining the franchise.

You crashed my party!

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, you made me drive the van it was being held in despite me telling you I didn't know how to drive.

You spilled paint on my scanner.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, somebody bumped into me.

You broke my tv!

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, it was really fragile.

You got fired.