In My Defense...

[Ren3004]

In my defense, river water was in short supply.


You divided by zero.

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, it was a question set to me in a maths lesson.
[sup]seriously[/sup]

You slowed down my internet connection.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you were downloading so much porn that nobody else could use the internet. As impressive as that may be, I need to be here.

You put spikes in my gloves!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was not as far as someone else has gone. So I have to go farther.

You tried to put a noose around my neck!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense i found your note expressing how you wanted to die


You left all the trash cans in the rain and now the smell is stuck in my nose

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, this was the only way I could think of to get you to take your damn trash out.

You stole my passwords!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, they were better than mine.


You stole all my ice cream.

 

[Sassafrass]

In my defense, they were all my favourite flavours.

You blew up a bus-load of nuns!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I was tired of jokes about nuns.


You spray-painted over my car.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, it's in style now.

You put obnoxious vinyls all over my room!

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, I wanted to have Switzerland's mountains for myself

You sided with Germany in WWII

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, my last name is probably a German one.

You shot me through the lungs.

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, I love the sound of a sucking chest wound

You blew up a hospital

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was already going to be demolished. I just wanted the demolition to be more fun!

You told the cops that I was beating old women!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense you were quoting the words "Straight to the moon" and shaking your fist at her.

You broke my piggy bank!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense i really needed the money


You pirated all my music

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you stole all my movies, so this was kinda fair.

You sent a SWAT team to my door!

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, you were being all takey-over-the-worldy again.

You gave me insomnia. Now I'm starting to hallucinate faintly.