In My Defense...

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was fighting a horrible cold at the time.

You cut my finger in quarters!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, you tried to do "funny" things to my love interest!

You stole my woman!

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, you hired me to do so.

You kidnapped me and took me to the arctic after I told you I hate the cold.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I'm very rebellious. You telling me not to do something makes me want to.

You put more acid in my sodas!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, those things are bad for your health.


YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!
[sub]I don't care who, just wanted to sound angry/whiny.[/sub]

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

IN my defense, all I had to say was "Psst, hes a noob!"

You insulted my integrity by calling me "The grittiest mofo this side of the wild wild west."

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I didn't think it was possible for someone to understand that insult, so it was really just a murmur.

You lured all the mods offline!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, mods have lives too!

You took the life of a mod!
Edit:

in my defense you sapped meh sentrys.

you blamed ecuador!

What? Ecuador? I live there... *confusion*

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, they charged me with false accusations.

You wrapped my uncle up in bows!

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, now he looks good with 10 bowties

You were first in line to see the movie Alone in the Dark

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, it turns out I was in the wrong queue. I thought I was waiting to watch The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

You poisoned my food.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I had to if I wanted to get a key that unlocked a specific door.
Fucking sidequests.

You deleted all my save files and replaced them with horrible porn!

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, it was my way of telling you that someone has stolen your identity.

You stole all my teeth.

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, my grandmother needed some.


You stole my grandmother's teeth.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, they were stuck to my leg.

You took the soap with you.

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, you're more interesting now

You didn't read the novel Don Quixote

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense all the copies were burned before i could get one.


You brainwashed Lars Ulrich

 

[Azraellod]

In my defense, he was doomed anyway.

You broke my favorite sword.