In My Defense...

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I didn't know who that was, and he was in the way of my speeding tank.
No way was I stopping.

You beat a mother with her child!

 

[Sassafrass]

In my defence, the mother was a poor one.
And beat her child with smaller kids.

You started WW 3!!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, how would I know that giving a bad look to a Palsetinian while in Israel would start a war?!

You destroyed all good music and left us with popular music sung by crappy teens!

 

[Sassafrass]

In my defence, I wanted to be killed by everyone.

You put an evil monkey in my closet!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you had a bunch of snakes under your bed, so the closet was the only place left.

You took all my checks!

 

[Sassafrass]

In my defence, they were all filled out apart from the amount.

You got me arrested!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you stole my car. You deserved it.

You stabbed me with a turning fork!

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, I think you mean tuning fork.

You turned vampires into emo bitches

 

[Sassafrass]

In my defence, I blame emo crabs for infecting them.

Spoiler: The Emo Crab

You assassinated an Arch Duke!

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, World Wars are fun

You killed Chuck Norris!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I was tired of the jokes.


You created all the jokes about Chuck Norris.

 

[FairlyFrightenedFeline]

In my defense some of them are funny

You destroyed an entire civillization

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, the entire civilization was made up of douchebags.

You let sunlight into my room!

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, you're as pale as a fucking ghost.

You stole all the gold from Ft. Knox

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, they were never going to use it, and I had a house to gold plate.

You accused me of being a jackass in public!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I could have done it on national TV.


You took over... THE ENTIRE WORLD!

 

[Macgyvercas]

In my defense, now PETA is outlawed.

You are a member of PETA!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, we get to use naked top models in publicity stunts.



You stole my computer.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you were using it to watch five hours of porn every day!

You destroyed the recipe for every kind of brownie!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, they traumatized me when I was little.

You destroyed cake!