In My Defense...

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I was in a aggressive mood.

You put me in a bad mood!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, you were too cheerful this morning.

You replaced my gin with water!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I couldn't finish my term paper in time.

You didn't let me finish my term paper in time!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you were procrastinating before I started talking to you!

You stole my water heater!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I need it more than you do.

You made me photophobic.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I did not know you would get a seizure!

You made me allergic to humanity!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I wanted an excuse to send you to outer space.


You didn't want to go to outer space!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, its very radioactive!

You sent me anyway!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, I wanted you to boldly go where no man has ever gone before.


You got scared!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I was all alone in the cold, vacant, dooming space!

You yelled at me!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defense, you couldn't hear me anyway.


You heard me in space!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, The whole 'no one can hear you scream' thing was a rumor!

You stomped on my feet!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, it was for you to notice I was here!

You did not notice me!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, You were invisible at the time!

You arrested me!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, I'm a cop now!

You shot me!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I was aiming at the wasp that landed on you!

You poisoned me!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

You deserved it!

You banned me!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you called a mod many unpleasant names.

You stapled my tie to my chest!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

IN my defense you kept refusing to wear one.


You turned all ties into a giant noose