In My Defense...

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you needed a cold shower, and there was no spigot.

You disobeyed an order from command!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense the command is my mum!

you rode a dolphin bareback

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you can't really put a saddle on them.

You got my cousin drunk!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense, he/she was paying, i just doubled up their drinks.

you violated me

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you were in my space. It was an accidental violation.
yeah.

You wrote vulgar things on my face!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense, it was your suggestion.

you stopped me achieving nirvana!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, you were trying to do so the Kurt Cobain way

You didn't go to class today!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense the class was "history of emo"

you set alight to the stars and stripes

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it was covered in a deadly virus. Fire kills viruses.

You killed the wrong nun!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense, they do all look alike.

you have an excessive post count

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I have no life, and spend too much time here.

You blamed me for the death of your father

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense you shot him!

i have reason to believe you are "the man" from the 60's

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, the time machine existed, and I hated the way people were back then.

You gave me food poisoning!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense i told you eating a green sandwich wasn't good for you

you walk like an egyptian

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, my joints are locked.

You stole the king's treasure.

 

[Metric Monkey]

In my defense, I'm the damn heir to the throne. He's about to die anyways.

I let you spend the night here and you have a wet dream...

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense, that moron owed me gambling money! dam ninjas
in my defense, the wet dream was because i dreamed of my nemesis getting hit by a bus and i wet myself laughing

you secretly long to join a hippy commune

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it's because of subliminal conditioning done by my sadistic parents.
Damn them.

You programmed my robot to beat me!

 

[Metric Monkey]

In my defense, no one else could.

You killed the cat!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense, at least i didn't shoot the deputy

you convinced me i could fly!