In My Defense...

[ShotgunShaman]

In my defense, I had a maple syrup surplus.

You smashed me over the head with a comically oversized mallet!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, it said Acne in huge letters on it

You dropped an anvil on my xbox!

 

[Xero Scythe]

in my defense, im still pissed about the bird.

you crushed my brand new bird with a warehouse!

 

[ShotgunShaman]

In my defense, warehouses are heavy and I have weak arms.

You got bird poop on my car!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense, you tried to run me over with that same car
You almost hit me with a car! again!

 

[ShotgunShaman]

In my defense, I have no steering wheel. Just a gas pedal.
Because...
YOU stole my steering wheel!

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

in my defense i thought it would be funny to try and see you steer

you put TNT through my letter box

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it blew up quite nicely.
Shame about that old lady, though.

You stole my thigh!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I haven't crapped in days.

You slipped a roofie into someone's drink!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I'm a smexy man.
And you do it to yourself, too.

You made up a number that broke the equation!

 

[TheDoctor455]

In my defense, I had to do it to get my copy of Firefox working again.

You killed Yahtzee.

 

[Xero Scythe]

In my defense, uh... I Cast Flare!

you destroyed sir schmoopy!

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense he was threatening to mess me up in ways I could not understand
You blackmailed somebody!

 

[Xero Scythe]

in my defense, they tried to blackmail me.

you shot a puppy!

 

[VargRaev]

In my defense, it attacked me

You drank all my diet coke

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

In my defense it tasted horrible
You gave me diet coke

 

[Xero Scythe]

in my defense, you said you wanted it.

you gave me pepsi!

 

[Hollow Grimm]

In my defense, I actually gave you coke...

You broke my X-box >:O