In My Defense...

[Sigel]

In my defense, I am dyslexic and having the ultimate "oh shit" moment.
You save a talking ferret from an alligator.

 

[JoshasorousRex]

In my defense it was my pet ferret.

You just sprayed and old lady with manure

 

[Woburn]

In my defense I was trying to cover up her smell.

You drew a mustache on my yearbook picture.

 

[JoshasorousRex]

In my defense you look better in the photo now

You are in the middle of nowhere

 

[That One Six]

In my defense, everyone was annoying me.

You light a McDonalds on fire

 

[Woburn]

In my defense I told them I had no experience working with the grill.

You accidentally shot yourself in the leg when you brought an unregistered gun into a night club.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, one lady was grinding on me quite vigorously.
She's the one who triggered the gun.

You stole a library book!

 

[JoshasorousRex]

In my defense it was a really good read. You should read sometime

You have a Heart Shaped Box (listening to Nirvana woo!)

 

[brainiac2]

In my defense, I needed a valentimes gift.

You didn't give me a gift for Decemberween!

 

[Azraellod]

in my defense, i've never heard of it or seen you before.

you killed the last living dragon.

 

[brainiac2]

In my defense, it attacked me! I was only trying to steal it's treasure.

You're a horrible person.

 

[Jedamethis]

In my defence, I can't buy Weetabix on Jupiter

you sneezed on my lunch!

 

[Sigel]

In my defense, it looked diseased already, so I did you a favor. Your welcome, ingrate.
You play with cat toys, a lot.

 

[Malevolent Stranger]

In my defense, I'm a cat demon from the planet Zog.

You kicked a confused and frightened old man in the nads, you sick twisted fuck.

 

[VargRaev]

In my defense, that confused and frightened old man was actually a suicide bomber, so i had to intervene

You gave my brother swine-flu!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, he screwed a pig.
What did he expect to happen?

You lost my paper!

 

[LeonLethality]

in my defence you gave it to me while it was on fire

you ordered the pizza

 

[JoshasorousRex]

In my defense I was hungry

You drank a glass of Pure Liquid Kittens