King of the Hill: AVATAR EDITION

[NerfedFalcon]

When did I touch it? Never. You're a drowning man--or armadillo, rather--grasping at straws that can't hold your weight.

Besides, that thing was designed to trigger on you. The guy who made it didn't know that I was going to get involved, and wouldn't have built it to work on anyone else but you.

 

[thesilentman]

You won't find me here. You won't be able to kill me!~

 

[NerfedFalcon]

You only hold the hill if we recognise you as being on top of it, and the only way that can be done is if we can see you. Since you aren't visibly on top of the hill, you aren't holding it.

 

[thesilentman]

I don't need shadows to be seen. I also can kill you WITHOUT my shadows.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

You'd have to be able to keep up with me first. I sincerely doubt that you can.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Well, if leet can do tricky business, so can I.

Lets say I fire randomly to destroy the teleporters and get out of the mess.

I just did.

So, I'm going back to the hill, but I'm outside the universe, so it'll be a long while.

 

[username sucks]

Dammit, I deal with the tank just to have some kind of ninja lady show up?

Ah well, it don't matter. I am an engineer after all. Just need to go an' find a solution t' this problem.

Don't look like More Gun will work, since the target goes faster than the bullets. Not a flaw in my design, accourse. The sentry's targeting can keep up, the bullets are just too slow.

Then again, guns don't have t' shoot bullets, do they? Nah, I can fix up mah sentrys with lasers instead, an' I don't think you can run faster than light.

Sounds like you best be "dashing" back t' where you came from, else you 'bout to have a real bad day.

Also it seems that you still have'nt worked out that I can respaun, so that's how I finished my device after you so rudely decapitated me earlier.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

You're assuming I'm stupid again. I might not have eleven degrees in a single subject, but I've got expertise in fields you've never even heard of. And you think I haven't faced lasers before? Laser is not difficult. Concentrate your mind... though, that might be a bit of a challenge for you, since you just lost your head. Again.

And this time, I'm ready for you. You may be good at building stuff to do work for you, but you can't build faster than I can break.

 

[username sucks]

THIS SELF PROFESSED "ENGINEER" HAPPENED TO RESPAUN IN BIG MT, AND IS NOW ANOTHER LOBOTOMITE BEING USELESS AROUND OUR DOME. WAIT, WHAT IS THIS? ANOTHER SKINVELOPE? BOROUS, YOU ARE THE ANIMAL "EXPERT", TELL ME.

-It is no LOBOTOMITE, Klein, it is the ARCH-NEMISIS of our newest lobotomite. There is a PROBLEM, however. THIS one still has a BRAIN!Eh, what's that, 8?-

##@##%^&((*{%%&@##@#@}%#@#@@#

*Yes, I agree with 8. The hill that they were fighting over has some kind of significance. I think we should claim it for study*

0, DID I TELL YOU TO SPEAK? NO, I DID NOT. NOW THAT I AM DONE IGNORING YOU, I CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISION ABOUT HOW TO APPROACH THIS PROBLEM. NOW BE SILENCED AND LET ME CONCENTRATE.

Dr. Klein, I think that 0 is right. We should-

DALA, I SAID SILENCE! I WILL NEVER BE A PART OF ANY IDEA THAT CAME OUT OF 0'S EXCUSE FOR A BRAIN. NOW, I SAY WE SHOULD MAKE BIG MT THE NEW "HILL" FOR THIS GAME, USING SCIENCE. THEY CANNOT QUESTION SCIENCE! 8, WHY DON'T YOU ACTIVATE THE PACIFICATION FIELD, SO THE DISGUSTIONG ORGANIC CREATURES WILL NOT EVEN BE PHYSICALLY ABLE TO THINK ABOUT HARMING US!

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Ssssssss...

[small]I heard you like explosions..[/small]

Sssssssssssssssssss....

[small]Hey... Why are you running? ... Where are you going?[/small]

Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss....

[small]*shrug* ... Guess this hill's mine after all.[/small]

 

[username sucks]

WE WERE LEAVING JUST BECAUSE WE DIDN'T WANT TO BE...EXCRETED ON WHEN DALA REMOVES YOUR BRAIN. DALA, REMOVE THE BRAIN FROM THIS DISGUSTING THING.

Klein, not to disagree with you, but this specimen is... different from the ones who usually pass through here. Look at it, with its cute, teddy bear eyes, looking at you. Als, just like a teddy bear, it seems to have a defence against brain removal, but that shouldn't be a problem with the pacification field active. Shhhh, little teddy bear, let Dala take your cute little teddy bear brain.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Heh. Organic material, you say? Seems that your data is incomplete. Need a hand with that?

*cuts off hand of one of the aliens at random*

Sorry, old joke.

*cuts off all their heads*

 

[username sucks]

YOU FOOL, YOU CANNOT OVERIDE THE PACIFICATION FIELD. YOU MAY HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT DOING THAT BEFORE YOU REACHED BIG MT, BUT THE FIELD MAKES THOUGHTS OF AGGRESSION IMPOSSIBLE. YOU CANNOT BEAT US, THE THINK TANK OF BIG MT, WE HAVE SCIENCE!

*Also, we are not aliens. We are human brains in a robot body. Neither do we have anything that even resembles hands or heads. Dala, are you susre this one isn't already lobotomized?*

Yes, 0, it still has a brain, even though it has similar intelligence to a lobotomite. But my,just look at it, and its teddy bear eyes ,and teddy bear hair, and teddy bear arms. Yes, this teddy bear is-

-Stop right there Dala, I beleive it just said WORDS! Doctor 8, play it back and tell us WHAT it SAID!-

@$#@%%$#$#*(%$%$%&*()**)(&^%$#@$%%^&%^@#^&^^((*^%^%#^&%$*&%^&*{(*#@@@@@@##}

-What was that 8? Oh my SCIENCE, it seems that this SPECIMEN is not ORGANIC at ALL! Wait, the pacification field STILL WORKS against synthetics, THIS is hardly an ISSUE at ALL!-

IT is I, Doctor MOBIUS! I will send my Robo-Scorpions to sting it! Yes, sting it to make it stupid!

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Heh. Not synthetic, either. I'm not entirely human, but the other parts of me are something else - something that, if you had any data on it whatsoever, I would be very, very surprised.

Also, how long is it going to take you people to get the message?

I'm. Not. Stupid.

I certainly understood what those robots you just sent out were for. You might find most of them pacified by your field due to being synthetic, and now missing their claws and tails. Now to see how many bits I can cut off your ship before it has to make an emergency landing...

Where's that emergency landing gear?

 

[username sucks]

* Uh, hi. Doctor 0 here. It seems that we once again need to clarify some things with you. Such as how we are in a crater(formerly a mountain, but no longer because of Doctor Borous here), and-*

-DOCTOR 0, do I need to EXPLAIN MYSELF again? I pressed the BIG RED BUTTON because I DID NOT know what it did, so I PRESSED it as part of the SCIENTIFIC METHOD to find out!-

*...Right. Anyway, another thing is that the pacification field stops thoughts of aggression. The robo-scorpions are just robots that do what they are programmed to do, so they do not have any thoughts of aggression to block. You, however, seem to have a slight semblance of intelligence, so it effects you. Doesn't matter what you are made of.*

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Funny. It's not aggression here, it's self-defense. Your scorpions tried to kill me. So did you, by proxy. I'm only doing what's necessary to survive. Just because I'm a pacifist doesn't mean that I won't defend myself.

Then again, how could you hope to begin to understand me?

I exist on the border between the physical and spiritual; mind and matter; life and death. You tried to throw off my balance. That could have been forgivable, if you weren't so assured that you would be successful. That attitude is something that I can't forgive. And there's only one alternative to forgiveness.

Oh yeah, and when I destroyed your ship, I kind of also broke that pacifist field or whatever it was. Don't bother running. You'll just die tired.

 

[username sucks]

FOR THE LOVE OF SCIENCE, WE ARE NOT ON A SHIP YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR AN INTELLIGENT LIFE FORM. YOU EVEN CLAIMED THAT YOU EXIST ON SOME "SPIRITUAL" LEVEL, EVEN THOUGH WE, THE THINK TANK OF BIG MOUNTAIN (NOTICE "MOUNTAIN"), HAVE ALREADY DISPROVED THAT SOULS EXIST. THIS MEANS THAT YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION WITH THE ONE TRUE POWER: SCIENCE! EH, IS THAT DOCTOR MOBIUS ON THE MONITOR?

It is I, DOCTOR MOBIUS! You fool, you think you can beat SCIENCE?! You cannot beat SCIENCE! You have only just begun to feel the stupid-sting of my robo-scorpion army! They are literiturely infinite, any nearby scrap will assemblecate itself into a new robo-scorpion.

You also may like to meet my moon-sized MK VII giant robo-scorpion. Although I would say that you shoulden't, erm, couldn't... PHHHH- SH'COULDN'T fight it, as it is the size of the moon and all that. Just remember he will not attack you unless you give him a good raisin for it. Although he considers many things to be sufficient raisins. Such as existing! That is it's favorite raisin to attack things.

Now excuse me while I go take a Mentats break. Don't bother me, I will be tripping hard for the next few minutes. Mmmmm, Mentats.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

What you call science is simply your own view of how things work. Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology. Case in point: This blade. I'm sure you've already seen its effects. In case you didn't get the message yet: The number of things that can resist being cut in two by the Watchtower Blade are next to none.

You may be able to create new materials, but the more synthesis you apply, the less likely it is that that'll go on the list. If you'd care to keep experimenting with it, then I'll be happy to oblige.

The hill is mine, though. If you can't be bothered coming here to claim it yourself, you don't deserve it. Even if I'm dumb compared to you, you're lazy compared to anyone, and that's the only thing worse.

 

[username sucks]

*Yeah, this thing is even dumber than a lobotomite. For the third time, we were never on a ship, and we have been on the hill this whole time. Honestly I don't even know how you remember to carry out your various biological functions.*

%$^+^*%%^*(*)^%^$#%&^&^%$&^(*&()(&*^&$%^&*(&*&%&^%%%%&%%* ^&*%&$%^%(*&)(*^&*%^& &^&* &^*

*You tell 'em, 8.*

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Really?

Because I don't see you standing right on top of it. Because that's where I'm standing. Come on up if you think you can take me on. Don't just send your peons, because I can and I will destroy them without even breaking a sweat.