Last time, we began our Jedi training, and are about to choose our jedi-class. If you've had the foresight to read the comments, you might guess what kind of class we're going to end up with.
"I want my lightsaber, and godammit, I want to choke people with my mind. Tell me what I gotta do to get those things."
Its always three tests isn't it? Never two tests, or one, always three.
"All right, get on with it. What you got for me?"
"Woah, woah, woah. Fuck that. I've swotted up. I'm ready to take the test."
"There is only Sociopath- I mean, balance!"
"There are only suckers born every min-I mean, Knowledge! (God, I hope the Narrator doesn't run this joke into the ground...)"
"There is only Rule 34- I mean, there is serenity! (Goddamit!)"
"There is Harmony."
"There is the Force."
"God! Finally."
So, test one, done! Do a little tick! You can put that on your CV! Now, before we move on to the next test, I'd like to now why Master Vrook, one of the Jedi Council has such a beef with us.
"Here, I gotta question for you, asshole."
"Why are you always riding my ass?"
"Well, you had to pass your Jedi exams somehow, so...."
"NOT THAT! I mean, why do you keep criticizing me?"
"Hey, stop talking about Rebirth. We already have one uppity Sith Lord to kill, let's worry about another one until he bites the dust."
So, he seems pretty reasonable. At least he's sensible enough to distrust the panto villain that is our character. Let's continue our mission.
"What colors are there? Can I have Red? That seems pretty cool."
"No, we don't do red. Its sorta for evil people only."
"An evil color? Seriously?
An evil color? Man, the black-and-white morality of everyone is getting ridiculous. What colors can I have?"
"Replace "end conflict" with "start conflict", "Balance to universe" with "Destroy universe and consume the powers of all those who live there in order to become a God and extinguish all life" the Consular sounds awesome."
"Holy shit. I'm starting to wonder who the real Big Bad is."
"Shut up, Carth."
"Talk to the thugs, find out why they are attacking her. Specifically, how much money she may have."
"Find out why he turned to the Dark Side, and try to turn him. So I can murder him, take his place, and take over the sith."
"Knock. To lull them into a false sense of security."
"You mean, the people you think are behind the door?"
"No, no, no.
The door itself.
"I don't even know how that works, but..."
"Coordinate with the planetary government to identify the infiltrators. Then burn them."
"Burn who? The infiltrators?"
"Everyone."
"Who, specifically?"
"
Everyone. With Nalpalm. And turbolasers.
Burn the entire planet."
"Why would you do such a thing?"
"Well, I obviously need to kill the infiltrators. So the burning works there. But the Government may not find all the infiltrators, and therefore, may be incompetent. They deserve to burn as well. Obviously we need to deal with the sith, so burning works there too."
"And the innocent civilians?"
"Eh. There is no such thing as innocence. Only degrees of guilt."
"If only because, frankly, you terrify me, and I just want to give you what you want so you will leave me alone."
"Ah, the Neville Chamberlain approach to any given situation."
"Consular. Lemme choke some dudes!"
Ah, we finally officially become a Jedi. We get our new force meter, a Cure power, and Wound, a basic version of Darth Vader's famous choke. Every single skill also becomes a class skill, which is great, but a little overwhelming. As a rule of thumb, I tend to put one point in Persuade whenever I can, and my other points in a different skill each level. Again, build experts' heads are probably exploding right now, but it gets me through. Feel free to go nuts, though.
So, we go to build our Lightsaber. Cue the music!
Soon...
Bada-bing, Bada-boom! Here we go! Our Lightsaber! Finally! You knew it had to happen eventually, didn't you?
And there it is, the overused, fruedian, blade of pure awesome! Enjoy.
"Anything I need to know about these guys?"
"Bring it! I've got my Lightsaber! I can take on
anything
Well, Kath Hounds are naturally viscous anyway, so I'm not really seeing a huge problem...
"What's causing this corruption?"
"You know more than you're telling me..."
"That is...ominous. Or are you referring to me? Because I'm pretty much screwed at this point."
Well, time to leave the Jedi Enclave for the first time in a while.
Here's Dantooine proper. It's really nice. How can you criticize a planet that has flying manta rays?
Plus, there is one damn good side quest here, we'll dedicate a whole update to it eventually.
We come across this guy called Nemo. Phht. Nemo? Seriously? I'm fine with Dorak, Gnost-Dural, and Plo Koon, but Nemo? That's just stupid.
"What's up with your name Ahab? Can't find the white whale?"
"Uh...wrong literary refrence, Varen."
"Shut up, Carth."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, really? I'm a Jedi? Well,
I WONDER WHAT GAVE THAT AWAY? Idiot. Yeah, why not. Of course the council is waiting for you. Hope you like getting disapointed!"
Well, that was pointless.
"We are Jedi. What we decide is always right. And by Jedi, I mean me."
"Dumb Broad."
That's one way to put it...
"Maybe you could make it worth my while."
"That, I can do. The planet may go with it, but I can guarantee, those Mandalorians will be gone."
"Oh god...ANOTHER person who needs me to grace their everyday monotony with my presence. Who is this companion?"
"Well, duh. Of course it's possible..."
A Shocking Revelation!
"...I think the puzzle pieces are falling into place. Could the door have been opened from the inside?"
"Oh...My...God. Varen. This woman...she...she's with the Borg! That's who she's talking about! OH, GOD! They're going to assimilate us all! Flee! Flee for your lives! The day of reckoning is finally upon us!"
"Shut up, Carth, you idiot. I should really take those Star Trek tapes off you."
"
You will not touch my preciousssss!"
"(Sigh) Look, lady. Do you really expect me to run off, risking my life for a bloody droid?"
"Look, just say "dead". It's far easier to say than "passed-away", and it makes more grammatical sense."
...This woman REALLY wants her droid back, doesn't she? In a creepy way. A VERY creepy way.
"
Ah! So you have a presciouness too! Me like you.
"God
dammit! Carth!
SHUT UP!"
(SMACK)
"Woah, sorry their gorgeous. Think I went a bit insane there. Thanks for smacking me out of it with your beautiful hand."
"Ugh...I think I liked you better insane."
"You live alone with this...droid?"
Taking...care? Oh god, the implications get worse and worse!
"At a specific part of me, in fact."
"FUCK, NO! STOP! JESUS! NO MORE! I'll get your goddamn droid back, in exchange for some brain bleach so I can erase that image from my mind."
And so, we flee madly from the crazy woman.
...right into a path of the planet's local monstrous wildlife, the Kath Hounds that everyone's been mentioning. Time to test our Lightsaber and new force powers against these buggers!
Force powers work much the same as magic in pretty much every modern RPG, rather than the limited use style of most CRPGs up until this point. Pool of Force, recharges over time, using force powers drains force. The neat thing in this game is how they tie in the morality gauge into it. Basically, Light Side force users will be able to pull of Light Side Powers cheaper, and will find Dark Side powers more expensive to cast, and Vice Versa. Since aside from a few Anti-Droid abilities, Light Powers are all buffs and healing, the Dark Side is INCREDIBLY tempting for Consulars. Its one of the things I really love about this game. When playing light-side, I always go Consular, just to add a bit of temptation to the whole affair.
Anyway, we crush the impudent giant space dogs, and continue on to our objective. We'll explore this planet more on the side quest runaround.
"Canderous? What are you doing out here?"
"Oh, hey Varen. Your droid beat me at pazzak one too many times, so I had to go out here and murder something to keep my cool. But, since death follows you everywhere, I'll join up with you."
Fighting more Kath Hounds. These things are EVERYWHERE. It's a wonder there are people still alive on this planet.
"Carth is just a pussy, Canderous. Get used to it."
I love this little conversation, mainly because it shows just how interesting their culture is. They are like klingons, yes, but its a little more different than that. Mandalorians litterally do not care about land, power, resources, or politics. War is all they care about. War is all they know. They don't hate the other side, in fact, if they get a good fight out of it, they'll probably thank you! Canderous was pretty friendly towards Carth before he started turning the conversation on Canderous. Sadly, this fascinating culture is largely overlooked in this game, it's not until the sequel when they really show off their moves.
After fighting through many Kath Hounds, we finally reach the grove. Wait, what is that? Is that person the source of the corruption?
"Hey, asshole! What are you doing here?"
"
I WILL BE YOUR DOOM!"
Oh...shit.