Last time, we completely underestimated the competency of the Sith, as it turns out they have a receptionist.
"Touch that alarm and you're dead!"
"Oh, no. Here's the thing: I have a Czerka brand Killrass blaster here. It's one of the most powerful blasters in the galaxy, and can kill you in a single shot. You've got your hand on the
alarm. You just gotta ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?"
"Wrong answer."
"Um...Varen?"
"What now, Carth?"
"She hit the alarm."
"Well.....shit."
Grenade Spam FTW!
Thankfully, we finally have a competent fighter in Bastila. She and Varen deal with the enemies.
The reception desk gives us access to security.
Ah, my favorite. Who likes their Sith fried?
Oh...shit. This looks like trouble.
This should soften the burden.
You can't see it too well in this shot, but it looks like the robot is writhing in pain. Out of all the character's we've met, out of all the things we've done, this makes me feel the pangs of guilt. It's just it's programming to defend this place. He doesn't know any better! It's not like the droids in Star Wars have any real free will. It's like killing a dog for shitting. It's just what it does!
Hey, look! It's the torture droid from
A New Hope's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Grandparent!
More Cylons. Also, is it jsut me, or is mining a computer seem a bit counter-intuitive.
We also find this familiar face.
"Oh, yeah. Took me a while, but I remember you. All you Duros look alike."
"How do complete the exce- I mean, rescue you?"
Obviously, this Duros is going to bite it. This is the same puzzle you've seen a thousand times, activating a button will switch its color and the color of the buttons beside it. Rinse and repeat until you get them all red, or green.
"MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA! FEEL THE PAIN, FOOLISH ALIEN! MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!"
Holy shit! He's going super saiyan!"
No, he just exploded. For no reason. THAT would have been a cool bonus boss.
Look, I just don't get this. WHY WOULD YOU PLACE MINES INDOORS, NEAR SENSITIVE EQUIPMENT? That just screams "bad idea" out of every orifice.
Our old friend from the camera appears, and we begin what would normally be one of the most challenging fights in the entire game.
The door slams shut behind us, negating any oppurtunity to escape.
Thankfully however, our previous action in disabling his shield makes this fight a lot easier. The droid still hits hard, but Bastila can heal us, which is easily the most useful force power in the game.
He sorta crouches down to fire his weaponry. Bit inneficient if you ask me, but I'm no robotocist. If there are any of you out there, do killer attack robots have to crouch down to shoot things? kthxbai.
"Bastila...? What are you doing?"
"I'm showing of my ballet moves!"
Bastila's ballet is so awful the robot kill itself out of pure shame.
"I think it blinded me as well."
"Shut up, Carth."
Just through the door on the other side of the room, we come across this fella.
If you're bald, you're evil. It's like some kind of law in fiction. See a bald guy? He's evil. You might as well kill them right there and then to save you the trouble.
...although... having pale skin and visible veins is also a sure sign of evil as well.
"I'm going to enjoy gutting you!"
You mean you don't even have a lightsaber? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Even
Bastila has a lightsaber, and she's the worst jedi ever! Oh man, how much of a wimp must this guy be?
Actually, he's pretty tough, but not in the way you might expect. He primarily spams his Stasis force power, which freezes you in place for a few seconds while he wails on one person. Compared to the droid we just fought, though, his stats are pitiful, so he shouldn't be too much trouble.
I can just imagine him blowing rasberries at our frozen faces saying "Nah nah nah nah nah!"
TRULY DIABOLICAL
It's all down to Carth.... so we're fucked.
Thankfully, Bastila breaks free and stabs the Sith Governor through the gut.
We find the launch codes on his bloated corpse. This is our key to get off this overly long planet.
We leave the military installation utterly devestated, without attempting to mask our presence, our clean the damage. Cos thats how we roll.
]
Oh,
God, Carth wants to whine some more.
"What the hell do you want now, Carth?"
"No, I'm asking whats on YOUR mind. Are you so stupid that you cannot even comprehend fucking english?"
"Whatever the hell you're talking about, spit it out. The whole "mysterious brooder" technique doesn't work on me, asshole."
"Goddammit."
No, I get to badger you with constant questions because you are my underling, and you
will do as I say, or you will
die.
No, not that one. Though that would make the game 100x more awesome.
"Frakkin Jedi."
"That name sound familiar."
"How much of a fucking idiot are you to not see through that?"
He's like Gaius Baltar, only without the hot robot girlfriend.
"You really think you could have killed Saul Tigh?"
"I dunno. This Saul sounds like a pretty cool gut. He fights jedi and doesn't afraid of anything."
And thank fuck for that.
Time to backtrack to the lower city cantina. So many memories in this place.
If he knows, the Sith
must know. We better get off this planet before they hunt us down and castrate Carth.
Actually, maybe we can wait a few hours.
"Okay, welcome to the crew. Crisps over there, punch over there. But how are we going to get into Davik's estate?"
"Background checks... oh shit, I better delete my DeviantART page."
"Why?"
"Let's just say having pages and pages of torture porn doesn't make the best first impression."
"That is horrifying."
"Varen will NEVER make it past the background checks."
"Or in Varen's background."
Entire Audience: YES!
Meanwhile... many miles above Taris...
Oh, shit....
This is Darth Malak. He's an entirely one-dimensional bad guy with no real motivation for being as consistently evil as he always is.
He's also AWESOME. I'm not kidding, for pure evil factor, Malak rivals some of the villains from D&D's forgotten realms, and thats the world where Evil is pretty much a religon.
"I suggest you get going, Saul. Unless, you want me to wrench your eye out with an ice cream scoop? No? Then get going."
See you next time.