Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[RaNDM G]

Suddenly, Felix walks up to me and snuggles against my leg.

RaN: "Hey there, kitteh. I thought you left with Waffles."

Felix: pik me up plz

RaN: "Uh... Okay."

I pick up teh kitteh.

Felix: k thx

I hold on for dear life as Felix flies up to the twenty-fifth floor.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well from what I remember, he did have a thing for Vaude, maybe I can get her up here," I say to myself, "Wait! No, she's on vay-kay..."
I sigh.
"Guess, I'll have to help you, then." I then see RaN holding Felix, "I see you admiring my cat, awesome, ain't he?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I laugh and extend my Dalek to catch Tox and reel him back in, "Silly Tox, running is for people who don't have a part Dalek best friend." I grab Felix and RaN.
"I haven't said this in a while," I clear my throat, "SHIT! IS! AWESOME NOW!"
[HEADING=1]BRRRRRRRRRRRZIP![/HEADING]
We all appear in the cryogenic lab sealing switch.

 

[RaNDM G]

RaN: [Perception 9] "That vault door is made from pure iron. They can't break through without heavy machinery."

Tox: "Why not?"

RaN: [Science 75] "The iron acts as a ground. If the daemons are manifested by electromagnetic energy, simply being around this much iron is enough to phase them out. They may be able to break through eventually, but we'll be fine if we can put enough distance between us and them."

Waffles: "So, you're basically suggesting we run while we have the chance?"

RaN: "Basically."

 

[ERROR989]

I quest about, exploring the area. I find a Candy Store. I add a Lollypop and a orange bar to my inventory.

INV:
Ice Cream
Envelope (x10)
Lollypop
Orange Candy Bar

 

[RaNDM G]

As daemons begin to break through the barrier, Bryghtside fires his Manta Ray at the vault door. The resulting blast kills hundreds of daemons.

"THANK YOU!", I shout as I run to the blacksmith. I'm going to need more silver bullets.

 

[RaNDM G]

I forge a few thousand silver 9mm rounds, dipped in holy water for good measure.

"I really hope this works."

I run out into the Mall killing daemons left and right, body parts exploding as the silver hits them.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Seperated from Tox and the gang, I am being chased daemons, "Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT!", I then stop running, "Why am I running,

I'M PART DALEK!

", I fiddle with my arm, "Let's see, no, no, no, no, no, no, n-" I accidentally hit a button that sends out a high pitch wail, "What the hell was th-", the daemons start clapping and smiling, "You all like that?", the daemons nod.
I smile maliciously.

 

[RaNDM G]

I follow the sound of a high-pitched wail, only to find Waffles standing amongst a group of hypnotized daemons. Waffles spots me.

Waffles: "RaN, we need more metal."

RaN: "What kind do you need?"

Waffles: "HEAVY metal."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Selffaw looks at in fearful awe, "Drol Susej help us.", he immediately flees.

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN THE MALL[/HEADING]
"...Please." I then add.

 

[Ren3004]

"Waffles?!" What's happening?

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Long story short, Xandus came back from the dead and is using daemons to torment us. I, with the ability of my Dalek arm, control some daemons to do my bidding. And now, I want Heavy Metal and I don't even like it!", I shrug.

 

[RaNDM G]

Waffles: "RaN, are you done setting up?"

I plug my Super 400 into an amp.

RaN: "All aboard! Hahahaha!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"WHY IS MY MOUTH SAYING THINGS I DON'T WANT IT TO!?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"I dunno, but the daemons seem to be going ballistic."

Indeed, the crowd of daemons have had their faces melted off from the sheer excitement of listening to the high-pitched wails of Ozzy Osbourne.

"I also do parties on weekends. Want me to do another song?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Hang on!", I put on my headphones, "GO!"

 

[RaNDM G]

"This will get their attention."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I look at the daemons, who are going fucking banana nut muffins over this, "Keep it comin', man!"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN EQUESTRIA![/HEADING]

After returning to the library, I shower myself off. As it turns out, corpse disposal is a very dirty business to deal with. I sleep off the night's work, and am awakened by the Doctor near 11 o'clock in the morning.

Doctor: "We have everything we need to try opening another portal. Are you ready to go home?"

RaN: "As I'll ever be."

Before I go, the ponies wish to speak with me.

Applejack: "Well, this looks like goodbye again."

RaN: "I know. Don't worry. I'm sure this time, things will go off without a hitch."

Applejack: "I sure hope so. Be safe."

RaN: "I will. Goodbye."

Applejack walks outside.

Fluttershy: "Hello again."

RaN: "Hello Fluttershy. How are you?

Fluttershy: "Fine, thank you. I know we haven't talked to each other much, but I just wanted to make sure you had a proper sendoff."

RaN: "Thanks for being here. It means a lot to me."

Rainbow Dash approaches me.

Dash: "What you did yesterday was so cool! Keeping my friends safe from that monster!"

RaN: "Yeah, I guess it was pretty badass."

Dash: "I just wanted to say 'Good Luck'."

RaN: "Thanks."

A white unicorn with a purple mane approaches.

RaN: "You're Rarity, right?"

Rarity: "Yes, that's me. Fluttershy told me you were here and that you would be leaving today. I just wanted to make a little something for you."

She pulls out a perfectly tailored chainmail garment from the pouch she is carrying on her back. It shines beautifully in the light, but I can tell that the armor is made from a tough, impenetrable material.

RaN: "This is beautiful Rarity. Thank you."

Rarity: "Oh please. It was my honor to give a gift to the person who saved my friends."

Rarity walks off to the side with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Twilight and the Doctor beckon me over.

Twilight: "It's time to go. Good luck!"

RaN: "Bye Twilight. See you later, Doc."

The Doctor speaks the incantation and opens the portal.

RaN: "Goodbye, everypony."

Everypony: "Goodbye, RaNDUM!"

I chuckle to myself as I step through the portal.

[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

"I want to take it a little slow this time."


As the daemons are hypnotized by the melody, I sling the amplifier across my back and start leading the audience away.

Waffles: "Where are you going?"

RaN: "To Hell. If I don't make it back, tell the rest of the gang I'm dead."

I lead many of the daemons to a service elevator and push the button for the bottom floor. We all go to Hell.

RaN: "It's going to be a long eternity."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"You have fun with that...?", I then join in the daemons mosh pit.
Shit is so fucking metal now.