Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Knife-28]

I fling my guitar's fretboard at you, impailing the alien in the head and you through the heart.I then am disintegrated.

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn in the sports store and grab a snooker cue.

 

[Sam G]

I respawn in the same sports store, grab a hockey stick and rush Ren with it. He swings his cue at me, and I jump up and land on it.
Naturally, the additional weight causes him to drop it and I fall to the ground and break both my ankles.

 

[Ren3004]

I grab hold of a bowling ball and hit Sam in the head with it.

 

[Ren3004]

"Fool! You cannot withstand the power of Gray's Anatomy." I step on the broken remains of Sir's calcaneus bone, making him cry in pain.

"Now you shall suffer the full power of the medical profession."
I then pick up the book and beat Sir's head with it.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in a funeral home and grab a tombstone that reads 'Mall Fight 2.0'
Walking out of the store I see Ren fighting with SirBryghtside, I walk over to Ren and smash the tombstone over his head.

 

[Ren3004]

The tombstone breaks, sending splinters flying all over the mall. I fall to the ground disoriented, grab the first thing I can get a hold of and stab Knife with it.

 

[Knife-28]

I look down and see you stabbing my leg with a paper cup.I laugh as I pick you up and through you over the railing.

 

[Sam G]

I catch Ren in mid-air as he falls and impale his head on my hockey stick, before spinning around in the air and flinging him back upwards at the nitroglycerin canister suspended above Knife's head, causing an epic explosion and burning all his hair off.

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn in the frozen food aisle and take an ice cream box.

 

[Knife-28]

Shacking off the effects of the explosion, I fling a sharp piece of tombstone at sam, impailing him in the foot."What goes around comes around!"I yell as I jump off the railing brandishing a dessert fork.

 

[Broken Orange]

Just enter the mall looking for a birthday gift for myself and notices a person (Knife) stabbing an ugly chick (Sam) with a fork in the face. I grab the Uzi in the water fountain (that is where it is in Dead Rising) and shoot him, then i start to run all around the mall in sheer panic.

 

[Ren3004]

I throw an ice cream in Orange's path, making him slip.

 

[Pm0n3y]

I respawn near Ren once again, sweeping his legs from under him with the R.F.G sledgehammer, causing him to fall flat on his face. But instead of finishing him off, I sit on his back and take the ice cream.

“Mint Chocolate Chip?! My Favorite!” I say before beginning to eat the ice cream.

 

[Broken Orange]

I am ok, but the fall broke my orange. In blood fury, I steal Pm0n3y's sledgehammer and smash in Ren's face until he is nothing but mush.

 

[Ren3004]

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I struggle to get up, grab Orange's SMG and throw it at his face.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I enter the mall via helicopter through the glass roof of the promenade I land on Ren breaking his back before grabbing a Camera from an electronics store

 

[Broken Orange]

As i recover from the SMG-to-the-face, I take pm0n3y's ice cream to keep the swelling down and goes in a corner and cries "this is the worst birthday ever!"

 

[Broken Orange]

I grab a hold of my senses and go to a hardware store while licking on ice cream to make a home made bomb. Half way there, i realize i left the sledge hammer behind. "I guess It ISN'T hammer time" and shakes my head at disguises at that terrible pun.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

on the way to the electronics store I grab a Red Faction-esque hammer that I find on the ground and cave in Broken Orange's head as I pass by him