Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Ren3004]

As I'm eating a speaker, the PA system goes on.

"My stomach is singing... Isn't that weird, mysterious person I kidnapped and who will soon be revealed?"
"Hmmph hmmmph!"
"What? You have to speak up, I can't hear you through the glue I stuffed in your mouth. HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!!!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Before Connor reaches the PA system, he hears people talking on it. Like one of them is being glued back together? Then he figured it out, the PA system has been hacked by someone in hell! Connor then runs to Tox-n-friends to find he is standing of NaR, who Connor thinks in RaN. "Hey, cool guys! Those voices, their coming from hell!" yells Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

*NEW PARTY QUEST:"The Fuck?"*

-Find the guy on the PA, IN PROGRESS

As they head to hell, Connor plays this on his Chiptune/Techno player.

 

[Connor Lonske]

As we stand at the door, Katie comes up behind us and kicks up into the mall and shuts the door. "What the hell? Man, what kind of ***** does that, right Tox-n-Friends?" Connor and Tox look around at their surroundings, it looks like the regular mall, but there is no sky in the glass roof and all the stores' signs say "My Little Pony Store :3" We walk though the mall and still every sign and advertisement show a pony.

"The fuck?" say Tox.

Connor wonders Were would I be if I were an evil person putting glue in someone's mouth? I know!

"I bet their at the PA system!"

 

[Ren3004]

I jump at Martin's throat and slit it, grab Connor and put my knife to his neck.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Haha." Connor puts his metallic Dalck hand under Ren's blade, pulls it away, jumps back, takes out his tactical knife, and proceeds to fight him in one to one combat as this plays on his speaker.

 

[Connor Lonske]

*Quest Completed: "The Fuck?"*

*Current Quest: "Crazy Crazy Crazy"

"We have to ether find a way to keep him from attacking anyone again or restore his sanity!" says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Well, I like Tox's idea, he was a reasonable person before his lost his mind, and why he is crazy I don't know." says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Why did you hit yourself?" says Connor, wonder what is so wrong with breaking the fourth wall.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"I hate Waffles, that asshole killed me so many times in the past," Connor takes a file, reads it. "Hummmmmmmm, it says that he has a hatred of ponies, to an extreme level that he fears them."

 

[Connor Lonske]

As they walk back, Xox and Connor carrying Ren on their shoulders, Connor says "You seeing anything else useful in the files, Tox?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Anything on Sister," Connor says, "and if there is, tell me if she is planing to kill me."

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Keep going..." Connor said in curiosity.

 

[Connor Lonske]

The paper from the file, feels dark and evil as Connor opens what appears to be letter.

"Dear Connor," says Connor as he reads it out loud. "You may of just lost everything, you failed out of school, and lost your lover. Well, I know what it's like to lose something, but I know that after losing everything means you can gain everything, and I want to teach you this. Come to the address placed here, leave this note. If you do this, I can give you a life with out heart aches and grades, a life in the future! Please go there, place the note in the mall, and you will be without trouble for the rest of your days!

From,

Your only real Sister

-------
10----
New Jersey, USA"

"The address is scratched out." Connor keeps looking in the file, reading other notes.

"On the 25th of June 2010, a boy by the name of Connor Lonske goes missing."

Dear god, is this a past life.

"On the 26th of June, the boy is spotted at the mall."

"On the 27th of June, midnight, the mall is gone, and everyone in it is found dead over were the mall was supposed to be, except the boy."

Connor couldn't read anymore. Having trouble taking this all in, he says "I-I been played all along!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Shit, Sister took us from our real lives and put us in this damn mall just too mess with us!" Connor, filled with rage, didn't know what to do next.

"I mean, should we tell the others that this is all some sick game, that we are all just some demon bitches playthings!?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Even if we just do nothing for the others, and if we can't leave, I still want vengeance. We have to stop sister, once and for all!" Connor says.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"I know how, but we have to go back into hell to do it," say Connor, knowing exactly what he is doing. "But first, give me the file for the Auditor."

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]Meanwhile, in a basement in hell![/HEADING]

The Auditor, this time dead for good, sits at his crappy non-probability controlling computer running Windows 98, with only one improbability drive left, unusable in hell, is left sadder than he has ever been. Remember his past while leaning on his crappy computer, he sits thinking about the good times he had when he fought Hank and had Jesus and the Clown on his side. Back when reality was just grey and white, not black and red.

---

Connor and Tox reached the elevator, Tox pressed the 999999 button and the elevator descended, "So apparently the Auditor is a higher power, whatever that is, but has little credibility with his fellow powers. He was tasked to be in charge of a universe were everyone looked the same, and everyone was corrupt, even the protagonist. I have a sample photo of one of the people there." Connor shows Tox the photo.

"Apparently, he lost control of both the reality due to the over usage of improbability drives, like the one from hitchhiker's guide, and reality became so distorted that his own allies killed him and left him in hell. After that, he apparently responded to a, Crag's List offer? And he gained control of our universe," Connor pushes around the papers, trying to find something else, "But were the fuck is Sister!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Well, first of all, I need a electric weapon if I want to have any fighting chance with him," Connor says, "Also, I don't know anything about hell, I'm asking you!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

The Auditor looks back "Ugggh, look, I don't give a-" he is cut off by Connor's electric 9mm bullet. "Fuck, I'm not going to hurt yo-" Xox electric punches the Auditor, he falls to the floor in pain.

"Don't give us shit, we want answers," says Connor. "Where is Sister, tell us now!"

The Auditor moves unto his ass, and sits on the ground. "Look, I'll tell you, I don't care anymore. Just don't shoot me, OK?"

"Well that was easy." Connor says happily.