Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Connor Lonske]

"First of all, fuck you two, or six, whatever. Second, I am not going to annoy you with a back story as you expect me too, my past is mine. Third-"

"We already know you got your ass kicked by a clown, just get to the part were you tell us were Sister is damn it!" yells Connor.

"Assholes, anyways, she is using her alternate personality to live in a demon's subconscious, which she turned into a beach resort. The subconscious is located in someone here, in hell."

Connor points his gun to The Auditor's face "Tell me who in hell," cocks gun "Now."

"First of all, that won't kill me," says the Auditor, "Second of all, all I know is that she like ponies... a lot."

Connor fires his gun, the Auditor gets knocked out, and Connor says "Someone who likes ponies?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Well, Knife isn't a demon, so she is out," say Connor, "Who is Katherine?"

We enter the throne room, which appears to also be the CD store.

"I remember this, this is were I took control of the Daleks and took Waffle's places as favorite Human. Whatever happened to them?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"I well, if Xandus is a Brony, than he could be the demon we are looking for," says Connor "Also, I meant the Daleks, they were fucking cool guys. I miss them."

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Nether do I, I just know they like me. Then they all died, I guess. Maybe they went back to their universe. I just wish I had B-FD with me now," Connor sadly said, sighs, then says, "So, you have any idea were Katherine is?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor whispers to Tox "Who's this chick?" and he hits Connor in the shoulder.

Spoiler: OCC

I will let you control her.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"You *****!" Connor runs at Sister, raises his electrified sword, and gets thrown into a rack of CDs, all soundtracks for My Little Pony. "Ow."

"Sorry, but do I know you?" says Sister to Tox.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"What the fuck!?" Connor fires a shot into Sister, it does nothing.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Ummmmm, I need a weapon?" says Connor.

"Nope." says Sister as she pushes me further into the CDs with telekinesis.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor changes his shape shifting weapon into a 12 gauge Shotgun, and fires it at Sister, "Fuuuuu-HAHAHAHAHA!" yells Sister as she throws Connor out the window into the hall.

Fucking hell, Connor thinks Wait, is Tox OK?

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Holly shit..." Connor was speechless as the store collapsed upon itself. "Man, everyone in there has got to be dead."

"NOPE!" and Sister comes up behind me and throws me halfway across the mall.

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR returns to Hell, having abruptly been left behind in the PA room. As he steps out of the glass elevator, he notices the landscape looks somewhat different.

As he enters the city of Dis, NaR grabs a beer at the nearest watering hole. Unfortunately he's in Hell, and the only drink they have to offer is O'Doul's.

"Fucking a..."

After downing 4 bottles and still not being anywhere close to drunk, NaR walks into the back looking for a restroom. He opens a closet to find Katherine tied up and gagged.

NaR: "You?"

NaR unties Katie.

Katie: "Thank God you found me. I've been trapped in there for 5 days."

NaR: "Wait, what? We just met three hours ago!"

Katie: "Time moves differently down here. When you got away under my watch, the administrator had me arrested and confined somewhere he wouldn't think anyone would look."

NaR: "Why didn't he just kill you?"

Katie: "Where was I going to go? Detroit?"

NaR: "Yeah, but here's the problem. If you're here, then who is that?"

Looking at the window, I point to a large monitor that shows Tox and Connor battling what appears to be a possessed version of Katie.

Katie: "Oh no. Not her again..."

 

[Connor Lonske]

Sister gets stunned by the two heat based weapons and literally falls backwords. Connor yells across the mall "Use cold based weapons!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Sister freezes, but before Jim could break the ice Sister teleports the heck out of there. Connor reaches Jim. "OK, did we win?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Oh shit, they took a bite of you guy." says Connor as he looks at his wounds. "Are you OK?"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN OTHERWORLD![/HEADING]

Katie calls me on the communicator.

Katie: "Your majesty? We have a HUGE problem!"

RaN: "Lemme guess. Sister is back?"

Katie: "Yep."

RaN: *sigh* "Fine, let me see what I can do."

Being trapped in Outworld, I am unable to physically travel outside the confines of the destroyed mall. However, I am able to grant NaR a temporary power boost.

[HEADING=1]BACK IN HELL![/HEADING]

NaR's power level temporarily raises to 800.

NaR: "Whatever that friend of yours did, it's working. What happens now?"

Katie: "Isn't it obvious? Go kill her!"

NaR: "Oh yeah. Duh."

NaR rams down the front entrance of the palace, just in time to watch Sister teleport away.

NaR: "Aw fuck."

 

[Connor Lonske]

"I think she just teleported to somewhere else." says Connor, "And RaN- I mean NaR, whatever, she was just under control of Katie, have you seen her recently?"

"Oh yeah, and can't you just heal yourself Tox?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Man, I need a break, I am going to kill myself and be dead for a while. I'll be back." and with that Connor shoots himself in the head with his shot gun and falls down, dead.

 

[RaNDM G]

NaR: "But I like Halo..."

[HEADING=1]IN OTHERWORLD![/HEADING]

RaN: "Something isn't right."

I call Katie.

RaN: "Katie, has Sister been taken care of?"

Katie: "No. She teleported away before your allies could finish her."

RaN: "I don't think she'll be coming back anytime soon. Double up perimeter security. Don't let anyone in or out until I give the word."

Katie: "Of course, your Majesty."

I hang up the phone.

RaN: "Terrific. Now I need to find a way out of here."

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor respawns in the Security Room. "Hey, what did I miss?" Connor then checks his pockets "Fuck, were the hell is my Tactical Knife! Damn Tox, give it back!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Man I have a lot of leveling to do." Says Connor.

*LEVEL UP*

Skills:
Guns: 100 from 85
Melee: 90 from 75

Perks:Lady Killer:
Self explanatory.

*Current Quest: Crazy Crazy Crazy*

"So, how do we restore Ren's sanity? Or should we just blow that off," Connor says, "I mean, I don't have an quest, want to party up again for one of yours?"