Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]Meanwhile, in the basement[/HEADING]

"I feel, a disturbance!" says Connor out loud as he is firing a M16A4 at a crowd of zombies, "As if, an alternate reality me just got ***** slapped, and is crying over it."

Connor fires a grenade into the zombies, and the fighting stops for a second. "Tox, I have a feeling the fourth wall didn't just bring other fictions into the mall, it bough the people typing up in the thread!"

"Well, that suck-" And then the fourth wall opens again, and even more fictional characters come into the basements and the rest of the mall.

"Crap, sorry." says Connor as they now fight Los Illuminados members from the island base from Resident Evil 4.

[HEADING=1]Back at the main floor of the mall.[/HEADING]

"OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING TO DIE!" yells real Connor, in fear for his life.

"Never get off the boat. Never get off the boat. Never get off the boat." says Martin, in the feudal position.

"God, what a bunch of wusses." says NaR, and walks off as Connor and Martin hide in a dumpster and start crying.

 

[Connor Lonske]

They run pasted the Dead Rising zombies, as they are easy to get away from for the most part, and come to a crying dumpster. "Take care of the zombies that come close, I will get them out." says Connor.

Real Connor hears his own voice and stops crying. "Wha-what the hell," he says, "Hey, guy I never met, I have a clone!"

Mall Connor opens the dumpster "No shit, Sherlock." he says as he pulls them out, "Look, you want to know why your here, I will give you the short version. We are you from a alternate universe, and we want to get you the fuck out of here!"

"What! How am I so thin?" say real Connor.

"I'm fat? That sucks" says mall Connor to himself, and real Connor notices.

"What?" says real Connor.

"Oh, nothing." mall Connor puts on a poker face.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"FUCK YOU ZOMBIES, I HAVE COVERED WARS YOU KNOW!" yells Frank West as he kills the zombies, distracting them enough so Tox can stop shooting. Eventually the zombies all are led away.

"Well that was convenient." say mall Connor.

OMG, NOW NEITHER OF US WILL BE VIRGINS thinks real Connor, wanting to have sex with mall Connor.

"Soooooo, what now Tox?" says mall Connor, trying to ignore real Connor and the look he is giving him.

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]Meanwhile, at the New Mall[/HEADING]

The Auditor, brought back to full power after the fourth wall broke, still not giving a shit, was sitting in the park, watching the NCR and the Legion fight an epic battle near by park. Anyone who comes by he kills. God, if that fucking clown tries anything.

---

"Lol I kiils yous!" says the Clown as he smashes grunts around, soon finishing them off. Getting tired of killing random fictional characters, he goes over to the park and fights his way though the Legion and the NCR with no trouble. He walks up to the Auditor and says "HEY YOU!"

"Ughhhh, WHAT!" says the Auditor.

"Weres Jebus?" says Tricky.

"Hell, I don't kno-" he was cut off by an electric .30 caliber bullet to the head and gets knocked out.

"Lolwat?"

A bearded, side burned, long haired, halo wearing man comes up behind the Clown and stabs him in the back with a sword reading "100111100"

"May you rest peacefully in hell."

He takes the PDA from the Auditor's sleeping body and smashes it, destroying all of the Auditor's powers, including almost complete invincibility to not electric weapons. The man then raises his hand to the dead soldier, and turns them into zombies, and the zombies finish off the living NCR and Legion forces, and changes the newly dead ones to zombies. He loads his S&W Model 500 and send his large zombie horde to fight the players in an attempt to cleanse the mall universe, not knowing of their powers or respawing ability. The higher ups of the NCR, the Rangers and Veteran Legionaries still using their guns as they pass by the elevator as Connor and Tox just get out of it.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Before the elevator reaches the bottom, however, two zombifed NCR rangers jump on top of the elevator and start smashing on the roof. "Fuck!, spawn me a grenade."

"Already got it covered," say Jim as a hole in the roof drops down, and he thows a grenade up into shaft, killing both the Rangers.

"Oh, good jo-" but before Connor could finish, the elevator wire breaks and the elevator falls at increasing fast speeds.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" yells everyone as they hit the top of the elevator and start falling to the very bottom of the shaft.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Please tell me this room is full of pies and not math problems." says Connor, slightly pissed off.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Spoiler: OCC

Go to 6:25 on the video and stop at 6:44.

After Connor gets off his hands and keens, he takes a apple pie and says "OK, I'm good. How do we fix the elevator?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"I think the reality between the subbasements and the main floors are all connected. So when you leave a basement, you just end up at the mall or close to it." Connor says, "Like when we took the Batcopter."

 

[Ren3004]

The wall of the room I respawned in explodes. I jump into the next room, grab Tox by the collar and start choking him. For a moment, my old self comes to the surface.

"Tox... Help m- AAAAAAAAAARGH DIE TOX, DIE"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor pushes Ren off Tox "Stop this madness already! Your insanity is annoying, it's not like we haven't sealed off hell so your pony friends won't do shit to you anymore."

 

[Ren3004]

"I like ponies... I LIKE THEM WITH GRAVY AND MASHED POTATOES!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor sighs, "[SPEECH 100]Look, your one of the three heroes, and Tox's friend. You don't have to do this, just stop, we have more important things to deal with than your insanity."

 

[Ren3004]

"I'M NO HE- Sl- NO HERO SLAP HIM OUT OF ME, CONNOR! YOU STAY DOWN!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor then proceeds to slaps him across the face so hard, Ren is knock down, and his insanity is in such shock from the slap of reality that it manifests itself into NEGA REN.

"Xox, force lighting him!"

Spoiler: OCC

Come on Tox, you got to be back now

Oh yeah, and Nega Ren is outside of Ren's body.

 

[Ren3004]

I get up and look at NEGA REN.

"Uh. Good looking guy."

 

[Connor Lonske]

Before Xox spawns and takes out Nega Ren, Nega Ren teleports to the new mall park.

"Damn it!" says Connor.

[HEADING=1]At the Park![/HEADING]

Nega Ren teleports to the park bench were two bodies lay. Nega Ren then transfer all his power into The Auditor's sleeping body, and gets combined into the Auditor, giving him demonic powers. He wakes up to find The Clown's dead body. "Get up."

"C&t. "

"I said, get up!" and the Auditor absorbers uses his new powers to give the dead body life.

"We need to find a improbability drive."

"Lol, y?"

"Because I need to stop reality."

"y."

"Because I want to stop Sister."

"lol, os 2he."

"Just help me."

"kk."

 

[Ren3004]

"What the fudge?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"I don't know, but I think I know who."

"Who?" says Tox and Ren.

"The Auditor."


"It is clear he isn't happy with being in hell, so he infected Ren while he was there with Nega Ren, and he clearly want to kill us all, we have to stop him!"

 

[Ren3004]

"I feel it's time for a scene transition implying you just told me who the Auditor is."

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN THE MALL[/HEADING]

Jesus, having successfully defeated all of the fourth wall characters with his zombie hoard, senses a disturbance. "The Auditor and the clown are alive." he says, "Send the Black Rangers, all of them. Kill them." The Agent Smith Zombie nods his head, and sends the Black Rangers zombies with there.

[HEADING=1]At the destroyed tool shop[/HEADING]

"deh bed." says Trick (The Clown)

"We need to go back into hell." replies the Auditor.

As they exit the store to find a lot of .50 caliber rifle bullets being fired at them. The Auditor then proceeds to use telekinesis to pull the gun men out of their cover, and converts them into Nega, Zombie, Black NCR rangers.

"lol."

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, BACK OUTSIDE[/HEADING]

"Wait, wasn't I supost to-

*Quest Completed: "Crazy Crazy Crazy"*

*LEVEL UP*

Skills:
Barter: 100 up from 80
Melee: 100 up from 85

Perks: "Intense training"

S:6
P:8+1
E:6
C:8
I:6
A:6
L:10