Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
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"Come on RaN, pick up the bloody phone." I mutter, cramped inside a broom closet. While I am standing there, and muttering curses at the phone, Jesus, using the thermal sight he used to kill Tox, places the crosshairs over my leg. A shot rings out, and I fall over, my left leg below the knee shorn off. "AAARRRGGGG, god damn it!" Another sho rings out and the smae happens to my right leg. "Katherine, pass the message on to RaN, tell him Jesus is he-" The rest of my sentance is snatched away as my head is blown into bloody chunks.
"Well, I use the Fallout Special system to the letter, so the maximum level for your system is 100, before you changed it, and the maximum level for Fallout is 40, so I need to be (guesstimated) level 28. I'm level 30, so I'm good. How about your personalities?"
[HEADING=1]IN OTHERWORLD![/HEADING]
The phone rings, but I'm in too much of a bad mood to answer it. Observing the events of the recent break in the fourth wall is giving me a migraine.
"Where the Hell is Waffles when you need him?"
I turn on the PA.
[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]
Hello? Anyone still alive out there?
The phone rings, but I'm in too much of a bad mood to answer it. Observing the events of the recent break in the fourth wall is giving me a migraine.
"Where the Hell is Waffles when you need him?"
I turn on the PA.
[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]
Hello? Anyone still alive out there?
[HEADING=1]IN THE MALL![/HEADING]
"How the fuck, and who the fuck are you?" says the Auditor in response to RaN's question. "These people, right Tricky?"
"lol yea." say the Clown as he knocks off another zombies head with his warning sign.
---
"I am alive RaN, and I find your corruption very displeasing, falling for Sister's trap like that on the moral plain, tisk tisk. Now come out here so I can put you out of your painful life." say Jesus, shooting his rifle at the Nega Zombies, trying not to be noticed by the Nega Black Rangers.
[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE ROOF[/HEADING]
"[SPEECH 40]Tell us the question, your coolness!" says Connor, trying to appease to his cool guy attitude that the half homosexual noticed.
"How the fuck, and who the fuck are you?" says the Auditor in response to RaN's question. "These people, right Tricky?"
"lol yea." say the Clown as he knocks off another zombies head with his warning sign.
---
"I am alive RaN, and I find your corruption very displeasing, falling for Sister's trap like that on the moral plain, tisk tisk. Now come out here so I can put you out of your painful life." say Jesus, shooting his rifle at the Nega Zombies, trying not to be noticed by the Nega Black Rangers.
[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE ROOF[/HEADING]
"[SPEECH 40]Tell us the question, your coolness!" says Connor, trying to appease to his cool guy attitude that the half homosexual noticed.
"It is a Shooter from were you are a player seen from a sniper scope, and you have to though the game shoot people while avoid getting shot by the sniper. It would function kinda like top down shooter with the twist I mentioned." says Connor, who knows video game philosophy and theory like the back of his hand thanks to his nerdieness as a mortal.
"I can do better than that..."
I crack my knuckles and pull out my Super 400. After taking a minute to tune the strings, I play this:
I buff all of the member's of Tox's party up to level to 140.
Health: +90
Damage: +130
Defense: +130
Magic Attack: +70
Magic Defense: +70
"It'll only last for about an hour. Don't get used to it."
I crack my knuckles and pull out my Super 400. After taking a minute to tune the strings, I play this:
I buff all of the member's of Tox's party up to level to 140.
Health: +90
Damage: +130
Defense: +130
Magic Attack: +70
Magic Defense: +70
"It'll only last for about an hour. Don't get used to it."
Connor talks to himself as all this goes on.
"Cool! Magic powers!" say Connor. "So, Ander, are you the part of yourself that is a cool guy, or the part that is mindless and has one Charisma?"
"The cool guy part, cool guy." say Ander, using my mouth to speak.
"Oh my god, this is sooooo great! We are gonna be best buds, right cool guy, can I call you cool guy."
"Sure cooler guy." says Ander the cool guy.
*YOUR NEW TITLE IS... COOLER GUY!*
"OMG this is great!" say Connor, almost jizzing his pants in coolness.
"So, what are your powers?"
"Well, seeing how you use the SPECIAL system, not saying anything bad about it, I love Fallout, but my powers are limited to any kind of skill that is not combat, and my stats for Charisma, Intelligence, and Luck are at 10. Oh, and my non-combat skills are good"
"Well, all I know how to do is shoot people and cut them in half, but your other skills should be useful."
"But your speech and barter skills are at 100?" replies Ander.
"Well, I don't like to brag but-" Connor gets cut off by RaN's appearance.
"Cool! Magic powers!" say Connor. "So, Ander, are you the part of yourself that is a cool guy, or the part that is mindless and has one Charisma?"
"The cool guy part, cool guy." say Ander, using my mouth to speak.
"Oh my god, this is sooooo great! We are gonna be best buds, right cool guy, can I call you cool guy."
"Sure cooler guy." says Ander the cool guy.
*YOUR NEW TITLE IS... COOLER GUY!*
"OMG this is great!" say Connor, almost jizzing his pants in coolness.
"So, what are your powers?"
"Well, seeing how you use the SPECIAL system, not saying anything bad about it, I love Fallout, but my powers are limited to any kind of skill that is not combat, and my stats for Charisma, Intelligence, and Luck are at 10. Oh, and my non-combat skills are good"
"Well, all I know how to do is shoot people and cut them in half, but your other skills should be useful."
"But your speech and barter skills are at 100?" replies Ander.
"Well, I don't like to brag but-" Connor gets cut off by RaN's appearance.
"Hey, who's the fat guy, have you spent the last few days just eating junk food in some alternate universe or something?" says Ander.
"Heh heh heh, sorry RaN, but this dragon guy is just a loud mouth... LIKE ME!"
Connor high fives himself, one hand belonging to Ander.
"Heh heh heh, sorry RaN, but this dragon guy is just a loud mouth... LIKE ME!"
Connor high fives himself, one hand belonging to Ander.
"Heh, while you guys fight, me and Ander are gonna go kill all the bad guys."
"How can we do that?"
"Well didn't we get leveled-"
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
[HEADING=1]And after five minuets of Tox and RaN punching each other and Connor and Ander leveling up.[/HEADING]
All stats at maximum, all perks gained, all skills 100, health at 1058 for each player.
"Man, this is sooooooo cool" says Ander and Connor in conjunction.
"How can we do that?"
"Well didn't we get leveled-"
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
*LEVEL UP!*
[HEADING=1]And after five minuets of Tox and RaN punching each other and Connor and Ander leveling up.[/HEADING]
All stats at maximum, all perks gained, all skills 100, health at 1058 for each player.
"Man, this is sooooooo cool" says Ander and Connor in conjunction.
[HEADING=1]IN MALLAM![/HEADING]
I step into the main lobby.
RaN: "Xandus! Where the fuck are you?"
Xandus spawns on top of a walkway.
Xandus: "You again? I've had enough of you!"
Xandus throws a fireball. I duck to the right and draw my handgun.
Xandus: "Hiding already? You're more of a coward than I thought!"
RaN: "I didn't come here to fight. I came to ask for your help."
Xandus: "Really? Why would I bother to help you?"
RaN: "You still want a fair fight with Tox? I can set it up right here. You can fight him on your own turf."
Xandus, thinking: Hmm... This is an excellent proposition. How do I know he's not setting me up? Even so, there's nothing here in the Mallam that poses any value to me.
RaN: "Well?"
Xandus: "Let me think."
Xandus, thinking: This is an opportunity I won't likely have for years. Perhaps it is time...
Xandus: "I'll take your offer. What do you want me to do?"
RaN: "Help me capture Sister."
Xandus: "THAT'S SUICIDE!"
RaN: "You want your revenge or not?"
Xandus: "... Fine, but I'm watching you."
I step into the main lobby.
RaN: "Xandus! Where the fuck are you?"
Xandus spawns on top of a walkway.
Xandus: "You again? I've had enough of you!"
Xandus throws a fireball. I duck to the right and draw my handgun.
Xandus: "Hiding already? You're more of a coward than I thought!"
RaN: "I didn't come here to fight. I came to ask for your help."
Xandus: "Really? Why would I bother to help you?"
RaN: "You still want a fair fight with Tox? I can set it up right here. You can fight him on your own turf."
Xandus, thinking: Hmm... This is an excellent proposition. How do I know he's not setting me up? Even so, there's nothing here in the Mallam that poses any value to me.
RaN: "Well?"
Xandus: "Let me think."
Xandus, thinking: This is an opportunity I won't likely have for years. Perhaps it is time...
Xandus: "I'll take your offer. What do you want me to do?"
RaN: "Help me capture Sister."
Xandus: "THAT'S SUICIDE!"
RaN: "You want your revenge or not?"
Xandus: "... Fine, but I'm watching you."
[HEADING=1]IN MALLAM![/HEADING]
RaN: "I'm placing my daemons back under your command. Don't do anything to piss them off and they'll follow you to the end."
Xandus: "I understand."
I place my hand upon Xandus's shoulder and teleport him to Hell to amass his armies. I call Katie on the communicator.
RaN: "Katie, I've taken in Xandus as one of my generals. Give him all the resources he requires. There will be war soon."
Katie: "Will do."
I open a portal back into the Mall.
[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]
Returning to the park, I am glad to realize the army of Daleks is still largely intact. I approach the leader of the group.
RaN: "Excuse me."
The Daleks see me as a threat and surround me.
RaN: "Wait, I'm not here to fight! I must speak with your leader at once!"
Admiral:
The Daleks stand down and allow me to enter the commander's tent.
Admiral:
RaN: "So it has, Alphonse. How's life been treating you?"
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "How exactly did you become the leader of this force?"
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "Interesting. I assume you came back to Earth as a peace mission?"
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "I bet you didn't expect the welcome you were given. Why stay?"
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "Waffles."
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "Which leads me to the reason why I have come here. I can bring Waffles to you, but first you must do something for me."
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "Help me capture Sister."
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "Funny. Xandus said the same thing before I recruited him."
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "He is gathering his forces as we speak."
Admiral Alphonse:
RaN: "Will do."
I leave the Admiral's tent. I have two armies under my command, but I will need more if we are to stand a chance.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE![/HEADING]
Sister spies on me from the roof of the Mall.
"So, this is how it all ends."
She teleports away.
RaN: "I'm placing my daemons back under your command. Don't do anything to piss them off and they'll follow you to the end."
Xandus: "I understand."
I place my hand upon Xandus's shoulder and teleport him to Hell to amass his armies. I call Katie on the communicator.
RaN: "Katie, I've taken in Xandus as one of my generals. Give him all the resources he requires. There will be war soon."
Katie: "Will do."
I open a portal back into the Mall.
[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]
Returning to the park, I am glad to realize the army of Daleks is still largely intact. I approach the leader of the group.
RaN: "Excuse me."
The Daleks see me as a threat and surround me.
RaN: "Wait, I'm not here to fight! I must speak with your leader at once!"
Admiral:
Code:
Let him pass.Admiral:
Code:
Mr. RaNDM. It's been a long time.Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
Poorly. If you recall, I had been left behind by my own brother to die. Fortunately, we Daleks are made of sterner stuff than flesh and bone.Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
That is not important. When our ship was lost in the void of time and space, we Daleks abandoned our former ideals and began to specialize in different fields to ensure our survival. I became leader of this force simply because I was best at organizing troop deployment.Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
Yes. We had been trapped in the vortex for many months searching for any habitable planet to land on. The break in the fourth wall provided us the opportunity to return here.Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
There is one who we search for.Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
You catch on quickly.Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
Name your terms.Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
THAT'S SUICIDE!Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
... Xandus is with you?Admiral Alphonse:
Code:
With our combined forces we may stand a chance. Very well. We shall aid you in your cause. Just remember [i]your[/i] end of the bargain.I leave the Admiral's tent. I have two armies under my command, but I will need more if we are to stand a chance.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE![/HEADING]
Sister spies on me from the roof of the Mall.
"So, this is how it all ends."
She teleports away.