Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

I come across the Auditor, drinking Scotch from his flask and crying his sob story to Tricky.

Auditor: "I don't even care what happens anymore. I've fucked up this world for everyone."

I walk up to the Auditor.

RaN: "Yeah, you did. But Sister's the one who sent you here in the first place. How does getting payback sound?"

Auditor: "You're going to fight Sister? That's suicide!"

RaN: "Funny. Xandus and the Dalek Admiral said exactly the same thing before they joined me."

Auditor: "Well... Revenge would be a nice change of pace. And I'm already drunk, so what do I care if I die?"

RaN: "Good for you. You can stay here if you want, or you can take the time to arm yourself."

Auditor: "Y'know, you're all right for a self-centered prick."

RaN: "I'll take that as a compliment."

 

[Knife-28]

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN ???[/HEADING]
"So, RaN thinks he can mobilise a force to kill me, we'll just see about that!" Sister says, looking through the security cameras.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN THE SPACESHIP![/HEADING]

I wake up, clutching my head, and see Tox standing to the side, looking out of one of the view ports.
"Hey Tox, what's up?" I ask, walking over to him.
"Not much," He replies, "Just watching the carnage."
"Say Tox, where's that Jim fellow?"
Tox reaches up and taps the side of his head, "In here."

"Which is exactly where I want him." Both me and Tox spin around, and see Sister, holding a large sword as black as night. "What are you doing here?" I say, drawing my Tanto. "Is that anyway to treat a guest?" Sister says, smirk never wavering, "I just came here to do this." As soon as the words leave here lips she throws the sword, impaling Tox in the chest. "What the hell was that fo-AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!" TOx crys out in pain and the sword starts to pulsate, absorbing his power, and the power of Xot,Futox,Jim,Sam G,Code Monkey and Alex as well. The sword stops, and flys back into Sisters hand. "What have you done?!" I cry, looking at Tox. "Take a look for yourself." Take a look for yourself" Sister replies. I turn, and see a window behind me.

Tox,Xot,Futox,Jim,Sam G,Code Monkey and Alex Level - DOWN

Tox - Level 1
Xot - Level 1
Futox - Level 1
Jim - Level 1
Sam G - Level 1
Code Monkey - Level 1
Alex - Level 1

All stats revert to 1,

All non summoning Perks unlearned,

Have a plesent day.

I turn around, and see Sister, who has definatly grown taller and more meanacing. "I've already done the same to your friend Conner, now it's your turn Knifey."

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" I cry, throwing one Tanto at Sister and diving at the porthole.

Unfortulently, the porthole is much stronger than glass.

Knife-28 Level DOWN

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Heh heh heh heh" says Connor. "[Lady Killer]So sister, your as hot as ever."

"What did you say!"

"[Lady Killer]Heh, you really think I wouldn't of came to that mall in Jersey if I didn't want some action!"

What the fuck-OW MY ASS! thinks knives after hitting ageist the porthole.

"Are you-!... Coming on to me?"

"[Lady Killer]You know what really gets me going." Connor says as he steps closer to Sister. "A big, strong girl who knows how to take care of herself, yet still has a wild side."

"Uhhhhhhhh-"

"[Lady killer]shoush shoush shoush shoushhhhhh." quietly says Connor.

Knife's body starts to shake, and a power takes control of her body, temporarily.

Connor lowers his hand down to Sister's stomach

"I never saw you as much of a lover, Connor." says Sister, entangled in the moment. Knife steps closer, still under something, or someone else's control.

As the mood get more tense, Connor moves his mouth over to sister lips, and Andor's spirit passes into her.

"The fuck!" yells sister as she snaps Connor's neck. "What the-Hey lady dude, how do you do?WHO THE FUCK ARE YO-I'm the guy who's gonna make you kiss a another man, you cheater!" and then sister kisses Knife, Alex enters Sister, both Andor and Alex combined into Alexander and then he takes complete control of Sister, Sister now trapped in her own subconscious.

"Hey Connor, how you feel-" then he sees that he's dead. "Knife dude?"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

I sense a disturbance in the force, as if a massive amount of power has been absorbed. Looking up at the sky, I find the source of the power surge is coming from Tox's ship.

"That son of a *****. Now she's found them."

I call Admiral Alphonse.

RaN: "Admiral, you see that boat in the sky?"

Alphonse looks up at the sky.

Alphonse:

Affirmative

RaN: "I need that ship taken down, NOW!"

Alphonse:

Of course.

Alphonse sends the order to his troops. Almost instantaneously, the Dalek anti-air guns obliterate the ship. From the explosion, I see a single object hurtling towards the ground.

RaN: "Here she comes."

[HEADING=1]IN EQUESTRIA![/HEADING]

RaN: "Lemme guess. Your name is Pinkie Pie?"

Pinkie: "Uh huh! That's the best guess ever! I've never met someone so good at guessing before!"

Roach: "Is she always this hyper?"

RaN: "Yep. You'll get used to it."

Pinkie: "Y'know, I've been thinking of a way to break out of here, but I bet it'll be much funner if you help me! It could almost be like a... a..."

RaN: "Party?"

Pinkie: "EXACTLY! That was another good guess!"

Ghost: "Make it stop."

RaN: "Shut up, Ghost. I'm having a nice conversation here."

I turn my attention back to Pinkie Pie.

RaN: "So, what did you have in mind?"

Pinkie: "Well it's simple really! All you need to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix..."

BOOM! The wall separating our cells is destroyed.

Pinkie: "And presto! You've got homemade explosives! Hey, you three look awfully funny to be ponies!"

Ghost, whispering: "Should we tell her now or later?"

RaN: "Later. Let's just worry about getting out of here."

Having been weakened by the explosion, I rip my collar off. Ghost and Roach do the same. I hurry to get Pinkie out of her straight-jacket.

RaN: "How'd you get all this stuff together, anyway?"

Pinkie: "I hid them in my-"

RaN: "Actually, I don't want to know."

 

[Knife-28]

Spoiler: OOC

Wait, what? Dude, you've already been drained of you power. and your non summoning perks. Did you read my post at all?

 

[Connor Lonske]

"WARNING, SHIP HAS BEEN HIT, WE WILL NOW CRASH IN THREE... TWO... ON-" and they crashed next to RaN, thankfully not hitting anyone outside.

Spoiler: Knife

Lady killer/Sex Appeal is a starting trait in the Fallout Universe in the first two games. Deal with it.

Oh yeah, I'm going to bed now. See ya guys!

 

[Knife-28]

Sister, having surpressed Alexander's spirit and trapping it in a nearby moth, pulls herself out of the rubble of the Pillow store. "Ok then RaN, my move." Sister starts moving her hands in wierd gestures, and a blak hole forms above the Dalek troops.

Emergancy Temporal Shift!

Alphonse crys, before he blinks out.

I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE!!!
HELP, HELP, HELP!!
MASSIVE GRAVITATIONAL FLUX DETECTED!!
RETREAT, RETREAT!!!

I watch, as the remaining Daleks turn, and exit the Mall.

Spoiler: OOC

Oh, well, nevermind then -_-

 

[RaNDM G]

RaN: "Oh great. Another black ho-"

The entire mall is sucked into the black hole. Hanging onto my guitar for dear life, I play as fast as I can.


As I progressively play faster, the sound waves disrupt and close the black hole, transporting the entire mall and its inhabitants into the middle of the Mojave desert.

[HEADING=1]IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]

RaN: "Fuck! Not another desert!"

As I explore the Mall, the environment looks... different. And not because of the change in scenery.

RaN: "This mall has a completely different layout than what I'm used to."

The Auditor approaches me.

Auditor: "Maybe because it changes in order to sustain itself in the environment?"

RaN: "That makes sense to me."

Alphonse and the Daleks approach.

Alphonse:

*ahem* Well, that was strange.

RaN: "Anyone know what happened to Sister?"

Alphonse:

Negative.

Auditor: "I didn't see anything."

RaN: "Then that means she's still out there, and that means you guys are still working for me. C'mon, let's go find the others."

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN THE VOID OF TIME AND SPACE![/HEADING]

Sister drifts through the void of time and space.

"Man, I did not think this one through."

Using her powers, Sister transports to anywhere but her current predicament.

[HEADING=1]AT THE SUN![/HEADING]

"OH HELL NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!"

A slightly singed Sister teleports away from the sun.

[HEADING=1]ON THE PLANET CERES![/HEADING]

Sister looks across a desolate valley of rock and ice. The environment is harsh, but not inhospitable.

Sister: "This will have to do for now. It's going to take weeks before I can restore enough power to go back home. I wasted too much energy generating that stupid black hole. What the heck was I thinking?"

"Perhaps it was your egocentric flair for the dramatic!"

Sister looks behind her to find the Doctor.

Doctor: "Or perhaps you were simply outmatched. My associate already foiled your plan and restored the Mall, albeit in a more secure location. You were lucky to escape with your life."

Sister: "So, you're here just to rub the embarrassment in my face?"

Doctor: "No. I came here to warn you."

The Doctor leans in close.

Doctor: "You are dealing with powers greater than your own. And I'm not talking about RaNDM or his friends. Stop your quest for tormenting the others now, for when you return you will face the wrath of many."

Sister looks across the valley.

Sister: "Let them try."

Sister palms Knife's Tanto into her right hand and attempts to stab the Doctor, but he has already departed. Realizing that she has been left alone on the planet, Sister falls to her knees and pounds the dirt with her fist.

Let them try...

 

[Knife-28]

"Ok, we're in the desert now....." I walk over to Tox, and slap him in a vain attempt to wake him up.

 

[Knife-28]

"I'm sorry Tox but....but" I start to break down crying, "Your a noob."

 

[Knife-28]

"Help do what?" I say, looking at Tox unconvinced, "Get the mall back to... wherever the mall comes from?"

 

[Knife-28]

"What the he'll does that mean?!" I cry, before kicking the machine. The machine, however, decides to zap me with electricity, killing me.

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]

While searching the Mall for survivors, a warp causes half of the building to vanish.

RaN: "Well, this simply won't do."

I call Tox on his communicator.

[HEADING=1]IN A FOREST SOMEWHERE![/HEADING]

Tox: "Hey Knife, wanna go outside of the Mall? We could find shit to kill and maybe find some guns. And also find some help."

The communicator suddenly rings.

Tox: "Hold that thought."

Tox answers the phone.

Tox: "Hello?"

RaN: "Tox? What did you do?"

Tox, lying: "Nothing."

RaN: "You messed with the controlled probability drive, didn't you?"

Tox: "... Maybe."

RaN: "The one with the note on it that specifically says 'Don't mess with the controlled probability drive'?"

Tox looks at the device and notices a note scrawled on the front.

DON'T MESS WITH THE CONTROLLED PROBABILITY DRIVE.

Tox: : "... Alright, you got me."

RaN: "You're a moron."

Tox: "I know."

RaN: "Is anyone there with you?"

Tox: "Just Knife."

RaN: "Alright. Let me see if I can find a way to you. And Tox?"

Tox: "What?"

RaN: "Don't touch anything."

[HEADING=1]BACK IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]

I hang up the phone.

RaN: "Well, Knife and Tox are stuck in wherever it is they sent themselves to. Any ideas?"

Auditor: "You could just leave them there."

RaN: "Why would I want to do that?"

Auditor: "Well for one thing, they think you're an asshole."

RaN: "I don't blame them. I've been under a lot of stress these past few weeks. But Knife is a good guy. And sure Tox does stupid stuff sometimes, but he's no... uh... Alphonse, help me out here."

Alphonse:

He's no Hitler.

RaN: "Exactly."

 

[Ren3004]

I wake up in a dark tunnel. The floor feels damp. I get up. In the darkness, I can make out the shape of a person.

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, AT NEW VEGAS IN THE MOJAVE ABOUT 10 (FALLOUT) MILES FROM RaN AND THE AUDITOR![/HEADING]

*New Quest: "I got 99 problems and a demon lady in the New Vegas ain't one of them(Part One)"*

-Find Sister's Location

Connor respawns at The Tops Casino. "Hey hey buddy, welcome to the tops casino and hotel. Can you be a cool guy and give me all your weapons."

"[Lady Killer]Oh, why would I bring guns at your fine establishment you have here if all I came here to do is to score come babes and get laided!"

"[SUCCESSS]Man, I can tell by your attitude that you won't be any trouble here, again, welcome to the tops cool guy!"

"Thanks, I have some questions first."

"Sure, what can I help you with."

"You wouldn't of happened to of seen a, I don't know, *finger quote* demonic creatures. *end finger quote* What I mean by that is there is some nerdy lady here who is really obsessed with old world culture, especially Groneck the Barbarian. She was dressed up in a very good demon costume. Have you seen her?"

"What, is she like, your sister or something?"

"You could say that..."

"Well, she's on the thirteenth floor, room D-13-FB. She hasn't caused any trouble, but she kinda creeps me out."

"[Lady Killer] Don't worry, after I score some ladys, I will make sure she gets gets back home."

"[SUCCESS]Romantic cool guy and a good family man, you seem alright."

"Thanks, can I have her room key them."

"Sure, knock yourself out buddy."

*QUEST COMPLETED: "I got 99 problems and a demon lady in the New Vegas ain't one of them(Part One)"*

*LEVEL UP*

*LEVEL UP*



Level 2:

Skills:
Speech: 15 from 5

Perks: "Confirmed Bachelor":
You are now bisexual(due to having Lady Killer) and can sense when someone is a male homosexual/bisexual.

Level 3:

Skills:
Speech: 25 from 15

Perks: "Swift Learner"

You level faster from completing quest.

*New quest: "99 Problems(Part 2)"*

-Find Sister and convince her using your charm to give you back your powers

-OPTIONAL:Get back Martin's, Knife's, and Alex's powers back

-OPTIONAL:Get someone else's help from you party.

Connor takes his Scouter out of his jacket pocket and says "Hello? It's Connor, anyone there?"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

The communicator suddenly rings. I fumble it in my hands as I scramble to answer it. The call goes to voicemail.

"Hello? It's Connor, anyone there?"

I answer the call.

RaN: "Hello?"

Connor: "Hey!"

RaN: "Connor? How the heck did you get this number?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"I don't know, I got lucky. Look, can you see Vegas from were you are?" says Connor.

RaN looks and sees a lot of light over a hill outside the broken Mall.

"Well I see a light over a hill to the, north I guess."

"You won't happen to be in a desert, would you?"

"Well, a part of the Mall is in the Mojave, I am at the broken part in a lower part of a mountain."

"Oh..." say Connor.

"What?" replies RaN, now having a bad feeling.

"Well, your in Black Mountain, and probably near Super Mutants."

"Oh, no problem, it's not like they are masters or anything?"

"What level are you?"

"A very high one."

"In that case you fucked."

"What is he talking about?" says the Auditor.

"lol guys!" says a approaching Clown. "1oo3 bat gall des head!" he says, holding sever dead scavengers body less head.

"I said not to kill anyone here!" yells The Auditor.

"Nopes, 1 founds dem."

RaN, scared for his life, says "OK, how do we get out of here!"

"Go to the north side of the mountain hugging the wall and keep doing that as close to the wall as you can until you reach a gap in the mountains that shows Vegas. After that, get in the Strip and meet me at the Tops."

"Why don't I just get off the mountain!"

"Death Claws."

"Ah, rather deal with the Super Mutants.

"Why the hell should we go there to Vegas anyways?" says RaN.

"'Cause sister rented a hotel room here!" say Connor

"Oh."

"Good luck guy, I am going to go gamble." say Connor as he hangs up the Scouter.

[HEADING=1]Meanwhile, at the forest.[/HEADING]

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]

RaN: "Wait a minute..."

Auditor: "What?"

RaN: "If Sister was here in this world, I would have sensed her."

Auditor: "Didn't she ambush you back in Otherworld?"

RaN: "My connection with her isn't as strong there as it is here."

Alphonse:

You believe it is a trap?

RaN: "That's exactly what I'm thinking. I think we should wait and see what happens next."

Auditor: "Well, you won't have to wait long."

The Auditor points out a group of Nightkin exploring the building.

RaN: "Looks like we'll see some fighting after all. Who's up for a hunt?"

[HEADING=1]ON CERES![/HEADING]

Sister wanders the desolate valley of rock and ice, searching for a source of freshwater.

"So... thirsty..."

Sister faints from dehydration.

Spoiler: OOC

If any of you still remember, Sister is currently possessing Saber's body. That means she's liable to meet the physiological needs required of any other human being.

Sister: "Being human sucks!"

Deal with it.

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]ONE MALL HOUR LATER, AFTER RaN FIGHTS OFF SUPER MUTANTS, AND EVERYONE ELSE DOES NOTHING IMPORTAINT BECAUSE OF LOW LEVEL AND LITTLE PURPOSE[/HEADING]

"Damn it, I am tired of waiting." say Connor as he heads up to the floor 13th floor and room D-13-FB.

He reaches the room, and opens the door. "Hello Connor T. Lonske." says Arcade Gannon.

"omg" say Connor quietly.

"You may know me as Arcade Gannon, however I am merely using his body to help you and your friends." says Arcade.

"B-but," says Connor, turned on. "who are you then."

"I am a higher power even above Alexander, and I will do you a favor and fix your leveling problem."

*LEVEL UP* times 37

Gained almost "Almost perfect" perk, and all previous perks gained in the past many others. All stats at 9, health a 777. Intense Training once to give level level 10 luck, all barter, speech, small guns, melee perks gained and their skill at 100, along with all non-combat skills not mentioned at 50.

"OMG!" says Connor, feeling the awesomeness coming, trying to cool down.

"Oh yeah, I fixed the Dungeons and Dragons leveling system that your friends use, and when we find them, I can bring them to a power level equal to yours."

"First of all, how are you controlling Arcade? Second of all, what should I call you cool guy? And third of all, what power level am I at?"

"I am a higher power greater than Alexander The Mega Dragon, me and him are best buds, so I can control just about anyone." says Arcade. "You can call me the Doctor, you may of read about me in previous post."

"Annnndd?..." say Connor.

"Your power level currently, and your friend's power levels to be, will soon be OVER NINE THOUSAND!"

"WHAT, NINE THOUSAND!" yells every other player, hearing the entire conversation on the Scouter Connor was using.

"And before you entered the room I gave your Scouter all call to all of your friends before you could notice."

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, AT THE TWO LOCATIONS OF TOX-N-FRIENDS[/HEADING]

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]Back at New Vegas[/HEADING]

"I did my best to bend reality so you could gain the scouter, it can talk to anyone who uses the same brand of Scouter that Connor uses and is linked to RaN's communicator." says the Doctor.