Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

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RaNDM G

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"Well, that sucks."

[HEADING=1]IN EQUESTRIA![/HEADING]

Roach, Ghost, Pinkie, and I have broken out of captivity.

RaN: "All right! Let's get the Hell out of here why we still have the chance!"

"That will not be necessary."

Looking towards the exit, I notice a huge, elegant Alicorn blocking our path.

RaN: "Princess Celestia."

Roach & Ghost: "Who?"

Pinkie: "Yay, Princess!"
 

Connor Lonske

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"What am I looking at here?" says Connor.

I have no idea what about what is going on in your last except the first two lines.
 

Knife-28

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After chopping wood for a while, I see someone walking nearby. "Hey, HEY!" I yell, running over to the person. They turn around, and I see it's Tox (Who is actually Martin). "Hey, Hey Tox, stop of a moment!"
"WHo are you, and why are you calling me Tox?" Martin asks, slightly annoyed.
"Duh, it's me, Knife, I know I look a bit different with the lumberjack get up but come on Tox, it's me!"
"Oh, right, Kinfe, Hi"
"Yea, Hi, where have you been man, I've been looking everywhere for you!"
"I've been...around."
"Fine, but come on, I have a way out of here."
"A way out of here?"
"Ayyyy Yup." I say, pulling a little wooden device out of my pocket.
"That dosn't look like a way out of here."
"Oh, but it is, look, you press this butto-

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN THE DESERT MALL[/HEADING]
"-n and boom, we're here" I say, grinning like mad.
"No, wait, send me back, NOW!" Martin says, trying to grab the teleporter.
"Why, we're here now, why would you-"I beguin, before a loud shout cuts me off. "Hey, Tox, I thought you just left?" I turn around and see RaN standing nearby. "Oh, Hi RaN!" I say, waving.
 

Connor Lonske

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[HEADING=1]At the Mojave[/HEADING]

"...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuu-What just happened?" says the Auditor, seeing Martin kill those people.

[HEADING=1]INSIDE CANADA, WHICH IS REALLY BIG![/HEADING]
"Oh, cool!" says Connor.

"What about me!" says Ander.

"Don't worry Ander, we will take turns." says Connor.

"Thanks cool guy." they brofist.
 

RaNDM G

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[HEADING=1]IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]

I push Knife's corpse off of me.

RaN: "He's not Tox! Shoot him!"

The Auditor throws off his cloak to reveal a massive minigun. The turret spins and lead flies out at lightning speed.

The Daleks combine their firepower and form a massive
Code:
EXTERMINATION
ray.

I draw and fire my handgun, doing critical damage to Martin's head.

With the combined firepower, Martin is ripped to shreds. He teleports away before we are able to finish him.

RaN: "Goddammit."

I get up off the floor and put out the flames on my shirt.

[HEADING=1]IN CANADA![/HEADING]

Martin: "Stupid idiots, distracting me from my unexplained goal."
 

Connor Lonske

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[HEADING=1]BACK AT CANADA'S COMPUTER STORE, HOME OF THE KILTED YACK'S MEN AND TOX![/HEADING]

"Hummmmm..." says Connor. "Ander, you pick."

"Warhead, definitely." Ander tells Tox.

Martin teleported out of the Mojave already, fix your post cool guy.
 

Connor Lonske

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Connor installs the game on his new computer as the writer of his post cries over his shitty one. "Man, I bet the Auditor would jizz everywhere if he saw our computers." says Connor.

"Heh heh, yeah." says Ander.

Thanks for correcting me
 

RaNDM G

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martintox said:
I start playing Crysis as the writer of this post contemplates his shitty computer that can't even play Oblivion and says:

"Did I actually write that? Oh well, at least I'll get a better computer for Christmas." (the real Me)
I sense the break in the fourth wall.

"NO, YOU FOOL!"

This happens:
 

Connor Lonske

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"Man, this game is sweet!" says Connor.

"Hey, it's my turn!" says Ander.

"Just one more second cool guy."

"You suck guy."

"Fine, go ahead." replies Connor.

"Cool." A tank falls on Ander's head ingame. "What the fuck?"

"Tee-hee" quietly laugh Connor.

"Heh heh, nice on." says Ander.

An explosion goes off in the distance.

"HOLY SHIT!" yells Connor and Ander.

"Wait, I think it was just Martin." says Ander.

"OK." and they keep playing.
 

RaNDM G

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[HEADING=1]IN THE MOJAVE![/HEADING]

I look to the North as a faint light appears on the horizon. Earthquakes shake the ground. Tidal waves devastate coastal communities. Radiation bathes the Northern Hemisphere.

In an instant, Canada is reconstructed.

RaN: "Actually, everything went better than expected."
 

Connor Lonske

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"Cool. Ander pass me the game installation disk please." says Connor.

"Sure." Ander passes the disk to Connor and he installs the game onto the laptop. "Cool." Connor plays the game.
 

RaNDM G

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[HEADING=1]IN EQUESTRIA![/HEADING]

Celestia: "Well, I was planning to offer you pardon. But breaking out of this asylum? That certainly changes the scheme of things."

I immediately stick my hands up into the air, and nudge Ghost and Roach to do the same. Pinkie Pie continues to bounce up and down.

RaN: "We're willing to surrender right now. Our intention was only to leave, not to harm any of the guards posted here."

Celestia: "A wise decision."

To my right, I watch as a guard handcuffs Roach and throws a cloth bag over his head. Two more guards give Ghost and I the same treatment.

Celestia: "Sorry for the restraints, but you are dangerous criminals after all. My royal guards will escort you to another location."

RaN: "That sounds fair to me."

Roach, Ghost, and I are escorted out of the building. Celestia turns her attention to Pinkie.

Celestia: "Pinkie, your sentence isn't over yet."

Pinkie: "Aww, Princess! Can I please have a break, just this once?"

Celestia: "What kind of friend would I be to hold a grudge? In fact, the orderlies here have been busy preparing a party for you."

Pinkie: "Yay! I'm so happy you forgive me for what I did! What kind of party is it?"

Celestia: "A slumber party."

From behind, a hospital orderly injects Pinkie with a sedative.

Pinkie: "Wow. I feel... funny... Is this real life?"

Drugged out of her mind, Pinkie is dragged into a high-security cell.

[HEADING=2]A HALF-HOUR LATER![/HEADING]

After a long time spent walking through the complex, our handcuffs and blindfolds are removed and we are seated down on a leather sofa in a classy office.

Ghost: "Nice place."

Looking around, I notice this seal on a mug on the desk in front of us.



Looking out the window, I notice Celestia conversing with the Director of the Office of Truth in the hallway outside. After a brief talk, the Director walks inside.

Director: "I don't want to bore you with backstory, so I'll just cut right to the deal. We need your help."

[HEADING=1]ON THE PLANET CERES![/HEADING]

Sister drags herself to a spring near the shelter of an underground cavern.

Sister: "Thank God, water!"

She splashes her hands in to drink from the water, but quickly recoils from the heat.

Sister: "Ow, that's hot!"

Scrambling away from the spring, Sister notices that a portion of the hot water cooled after touching the surface of the ice, forming a pocket of drinkable water. After drinking every last drop from the small puddle, she tears a few scraps from her shirt, using the cloth to bandage her burned hands. She takes a look at the cave entrance.

Sister: "Alright. I've got a source of freshwater and a place to hold out for the night. I might just make it after all!"
 

Connor Lonske

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[HEADING=1]The next morning[/HEADING]

Connor and Tox are asleep after a all night playing session of Crysis.
 

Connor Lonske

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"Hey, can you spawn me my WidowMaker Sniper Rifle and some .50 caliber bullets for ammo?" says Connor while beating up Super Mutant with a lead pipe.
 

Connor Lonske

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Connor loads the sniper and fires it at a Super Mutant Overlord's head, it flies off and gets on fire.

Ander, sitting in the corner, kinda tired still, uses his Scouter to pick up radio transmissions.

"Hello nifty America, it's me, your president, John Hen-GOT YA! Three dog here, how's everyone doin'?"

"Man, I love this cool guy!" says Ander. "Hey, we should go to GNR and meet Three Dog!"
 

Connor Lonske

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[HEADING=1]In front of the GNR building[/HEADING]

"Man, give me some of those Doritos." says a hungry Brotherhood Of Steel Knight.

"No way! Go eat a Salisbury Steak." says a Paladin.

"Fuck you, I'm going inside." say the Knight as he does.

The Paladin keeps eating as he sees a group of people he doesn't know.

He speaks into a loud speaker, "State your purpose for coming here, wastelanders!"