Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Connor Lonske]

"I don't believe you, all I know you just are mercenary fans of Three Dog and just want his autograph!" says the Paladin.

"[Confirmed Bachelor]You know, you seem pretty stressed there, cool guy." says Connor.

"What?!" says the Paladin.

"[Confirmed Bachelor]I mean, your so upset with your job, having to deal with people bothering you all the time, having to lead idiots who don't care and be given orders you don't like. I think, I can help you feel a little less stressed with your position."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh, OK?" says the Paladin.

"[Confirmed Bachelor]First, let us see Three Dog, and maybe I will let you keep your job, and let you have a little "going away gift" for when we finish talking to him."

"...Right this way." says the very nervous Paladin.

We enter GNR.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Oh cool." Connor says, and starts playing chiptune from his chest in tune with the yodeling, creating a nice instrumental background.

 

[Connor Lonske]

At the end, Connor does a super epic chiptune sax line and starts humping the air.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Then Alex hacks the threads AI to play this.

Aw fuck you guys.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor then proceeds to play Chocolate Rain on his Chiptune player.

 

[Connor Lonske]

This is pure comedy gold, I got to ask these guys about their crazy adventures for when they finish. thinks Three Dog.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Then Connor uses his Techno player to play a smooth electronic beat with the Sax playing and Ander doing the drums.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Three Dog claps. "Bravo guys, bravo. That was the Mega Transports band, now back to our regular programing." and he turns of the mic and plays the some other music. "So, you guys are famous now, how does it feel?"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN EQUESTRIA![/HEADING]

Director: "In exchange for granting you political freedom, there are two tasks we need you to accomplish."

The Director hands Roach a file.

Director: "Your first target is a human who appeared in Equestria six months prior to your arrival. Details are sketchy, but we believe he has been abducting and murdering ponies in the southwest territory."

After examining the file, Roach passes it to me. Immediately, my eyes are drawn to the sketch of the individual in question.

Director: "They call him Krastos, the Glue Maker."

Roach: "He's only one man. I'm sure he could easily be apprehended by the special police."

Director: "That's what I thought as well. But this 'Krastos' appears to have some kind of control over his victims. We don't know how he does it, but first-hand accounts of the second squad we sent in are horrifying."

Ghost: "What happened to the first?"

Director: "Dead on arrival. They were ambushed breaching Krastos's home in the canyons forty miles from the town. I don't want to discuss the details."

RaN: "If this Krastos is so deadly, what makes you think we'd stand a chance apprehending him?"

Director: "I don't want him captured... I want him dead."

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]The next morning, at GNR[/HEADING]

"Hey, Ander, were are you?" says Alex. "Hello?"

"What!" says a BOS Knight. "I'm on break, be quite." he says, and falls back asleep.

Alex walks over to the bathroom, and hears kissing sounds. "The fuck!" he says and opens the door.

"I-I am just going to go back to sleep." says Alex as he closes the door and walks off, hating his 1 charisma.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Hello Capital Wasteland, It's me, Three Dog, here at 8-o-Clock in the morning, time for you wastelanders to wake up and give you day a living, 'cause it's that time again. But first, I am going to play something very special for you wasteland lovers around, enjoy the music, Three Dog, out!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]At GNR[/HEADING]

Connor walks out of the Three Dog's bathroom, finding five minuets earlier he had passed out on the toilet with no pants on. "Hey guys, what's up?" he says in his underwear to Tox and Alex, finding Alex in pain on the floor and Tox holding his hand back from him. "Heh, looks like you guys had a crazy night too!"

Ander spawns, and tries to pick up Alex from the ground. "Hey other me, how you doin'?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Hey, has anybody seen my pants?" says Connor, not embarrassed, just being practical. "Ander?"

"Well, when you went into the bathroom with me-"

"Nevermind, just spawn me some pants Tox." says Connor as he picks up his Armored Reinforced Leather Bomber Jacket.

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]GNR[/HEADING]

Connor puts on his pants and Jacket, walks over to Three Dog's room to find him sleeping. "Figures."

"So, should we leave here and do something else?" says Ander.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Cool." says everyone else. Connor plays appropriate montage music.


And they head off, and kill many raiders and Super Mutants in their travels to the Archives.

[HEADING=1]Two in game hours later, four minuets real life...[/HEADING]

"Great, we're here!" says Ander.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor takes out his katana, "Lets do this shit!" he screams as they head to the basement.

It too, was full of dead bodies of Super Mutants, Raiders, and other bodies. They get close to the safe, to find the robot protecting the Deceleration was destroyed. "Fucking hell." they say, checking it's metal body to find the Deceleration missing. "Well fuck, what do we do now?" says Ander.

 

[Connor Lonske]

As they travel to Rivet City, Connor listens to GNR on his Scouter with Ander listening due to being inside his body.

"What rhymes with shoes, and gives you the blues? That's right, it's time, FOR THE CASHEWS! No wait, News."

Connor chuckles and turns on his speaker to max volume so everyone can hear.

"OK, we got a new major scavenger/spawning of atom here at DC, and his name is MARTIN. Here's the story, we first here from some crazy old drunk at Megaton that he saw a 'incarnation of atom' late at night, then we see the guy, same description, at the National Archives and takes every single document in there, and then he heads over to Rivet City and rents a hotel room. This guy is really on the move, so if you want to get a autograph with the guy, now's your chance kiddies. This is Three Dog, OWWWWWWWWWHHHH, now back with the music."

"Hey, you guys hear that! We can meet a celebrity at Rivet City, isn't that cool!" says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

And so they head off to Rivet City, killing even more Super Mutants and Raiders, and they play GNR as they go.


[HEADING=1]When they reach Rivet City[/HEADING]

"Wow, that was fast!" says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Can we have your autograph?!" yells Connor and Ander.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"But why cool guy?" says Ander, Connor still looking at his autograph.