Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[RaNDM G]

Spoiler: OOC

Oh yeah, RaN, forgot to ask you, did you draw that picture of the Glue Maker? It was pretty good.

Nope, I borrowed it from Know Your Meme.

I hope me and Tox jerking each other off hasn't made you not want to tell your story, I'm interested in it.

I think it's funny actually. I'm used to being one of the major players of the main-story arc ever since my first team-up with Ren. I think I want to take a backseat for a little while and let you guys have some fun. The Sister and Equestria sub-plots are pretty much an excuse for me to keep writing. Speaking of which...

[HEADING=1]IN APPLELOOSA![/HEADING]

I kick down the front door of the house. The hallway is clear, but I hear the sound of a revolver being loaded in the kitchen. I cautiously approach and take cover near the entryway. Weighing my options, I decide to take a confrontational approach. I get a good grip on my weapon and move inside.

RaN: "Drop the gun. Put your hands where I can see them."

The trespasser unloads his firearm, drops it on the ground and raises his hands.

RaN: "Turn around. Let me get a look at you."

As the pony turns on his hind legs, I notice him wearing the badge of a sheriff's deputy.

RaN: "What's your name, kid?"

Deputy: "Braeburn. I accompanied the town Sheriff to investigate the area."

RaN: "Where is he?"

Deputy: "Downstairs, in the basement."

I contact Roach on the radio.

RaN: "Roach, you see anybody down there?"

Roach : Yeah. I had a run-in with the town Sheriff.

RaN: "Alright. Meet us up here."

Roach: Got it.

I turn my attention back to Braeburn.

RaN: "Sorry about that. We were assured we would be investigating the scene alone."

Braeburn: "Don't worry about it. Department of Truth types always have a tendency to drop the ball on intel."

Braeburn takes a good look at me.

Braeburn: "What are you supposed to be anyways? You ain't look like any creature I've ever laid eyes on."

Suddenly, Ghost barges in through the back door with his rifle in hand. Braeburn and I draw our weapons on instinct.

Ghost: "PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! NOW!"

I squeeze the trigger, but catch myself before firing.

RaN: "Relax Ghost. He's not the perp."

Ghost takes a look at the deputy.

Ghost: "Oh. Jeezus, you guys scared the shit out of me."

RaN: "Don't worry about it. Let's just take a few deep brea-"

Having heard the shouting, Roach and the Sheriff bust through the basement door. The three of us draw and aim our weapons. Roach and the Sheriff respond in kind.

After ten grueling seconds, Roach breaks the tension by chuckling to himself. The rest of us lower our weapons and break out in laughter.

[HEADING=2]TEN MINUTES LATER![/HEADING]

After telling Braeburn and the Sheriff our background, the Sheriff lead us downstairs into a hidden room.

Sheriff: "This is where the sick freak does his dirty work."

Walking inside, I immediately gag. Despite having been cleaned up, the room wreaks of the smells of sulfur and rotting flesh.

Sheriff: "After tying up the victims and skinning them alive, the killer cooks their hides in water, creating the glue. But that's not even the worse part."

The Sheriff leads us to a rather large attache case sitting on a desk.

Sheriff: "Go ahead. Open it."

Ghost opens the box, revealing an array of neatly categorized unicorn horns, tails, and preserved skins from the flank detailing the cutie marks of each victim.

Ghost: "Oh, God."

Sheriff: "The killer is a trophy hunter. From this case, we've recorded at least seventeen ponies. And that's not counting the colts and fillies."

Not being able to stand the stench of the room any longer, Roach vomits in his mouth and runs outside.

RaN: "I think I've seen enough, Sheriff. Krastos is a psychopath, but there's nothing here that would give us any leads on his current location."

Sheriff: "I wish I could offer you more help, but like your friend, I'm afraid I can't stand staying here for much longer. Perhaps you should search upstairs for any personal belongings we may have missed."

RaN: "Much obliged, Sheriff. C'mon Ghost, we're burning daylight."

Ghost and I walk up the second story.

[HEADING=2]30 MINUTES LATER![/HEADING]

After investigating the entire floor, Ghost and I come up empty-handed.

Ghost: "This guy is really starting to piss me off."

Leaning on a wall in the bedroom's closet, I notice a small compartment on the wall. I reach my hand inside and pull a chord. A small hole opens in the wall, revealing a small case inside.

Ghost: "Guess it's our lucky day after all."

Opening the box, I discover a single note printed in blood red ink.

[HEADING=3]THINK YOU CAN SAVE HER IN TIME?[/HEADING]

I flip over the picture.

RaN: "Oh shit."

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]Meanwhile, in Connor's dream.[/HEADING]


Connor was inside a house, he recognized it. Full of trash, he hears words go though his head.

Plagued by philosophies
that sew eyes shut and fill minds up with dirt
for all my subtleties
I can not see it's me who's being hurt

Entered a bed room, to find it had a hole right inside it. Connor goes into it.

Remember me
way down here
Where you can't see
and will not hear
All hope erased
I disappear

Connor gets to the bottom, to find some kind of basement, full of flies and dust. The voice continues.

Futile to disagree
when you decree
you made that message clear

Connor is shaking all over, as a organ starts to play, then the voice screeches,

I'm in your oubliette
placed here for you to forget
I'm in your oubliette
until I've paid all of your debt

Connor falls on his hands and knees, crying "Please, let me go!"

Remember me
what I said
I hope it broke off in your head
before you left me here for dead

The tears start falling.

Faced with atrocities
that close my eyes and cripple me with fear
Confusing memories
refusing truth to how I got here

Connor's and the voice speak at the same time.

I can not see
I will not hear
All hope erased
I disappear

He stands up, and then falls back down, fighting what is trying to take hold of his soul.

I'm in your oubliette
placed here for you to forget
I'm in your oubliette
until I've paid my debt

Connor tries to crawl upward out of the basement of his mind.

Destroy my soul
Starve me until I'm insane
Don't ever let me know
this prison's only in my brain

Connor falls back into his oubliette.

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN APPLELOOSA![/HEADING]

I hand Ghost the photograph.

Ghost: "Who's this?"

RaN: "An alicorn. They're extremely rare, even here in Equestria."

Ghost: "You think she's the next target?"

RaN: "More likely she's being used to bait us. Either way, we're going to make sure he doesn't get his hands on her."

I walk downstairs and show the Sheriff the photograph.

RaN: "You know this filly?"

Sheriff: "Hmph... I remember she stopped by from Canterlot to pick up a special order of garden soil. That was about two days ago. Mean spirited girl, that one."

RaN: "She got a name?"

Sheriff: "Rosaline."

RaN: "Alright. Ghost? Call HQ. Find out where she lives and send a security detail. It shouldn't be too hard to track her down."

Ghost: "Got it."

I walk outside of the house to find Braeburn sitting on the front porch.


Braeburn: "You think your friend's gonna be alright?"

RaN: "He's been through worse."

I catch Roach napping under a tree. I kick him in the leg to get his attention.

RaN: "C'mon. We're leaving."

Roach: "Fine by me."

Ghost walks out onto the front porch.

Ghost: "I can't get a signal out here, but I found something I think you guys should see."

We follow Ghost back inside the home as dusk approaches.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Spoiler: OOC

The post I put originally here is now on my last post. Go read it for the context.

[HEADING=1]Back in the dream[/HEADING]

"Hummmmm, this place is creepy." says Ander, looking though Connor's subconscious prison of a house.

He hears crying coming from a bed room. He opens the door and find the pit. He climbs down, the crying getting stronger. He reaches the bottom, and realizing it was a dream, creates a flash light and looks for the source of the crying. The basement is large, filthy. He finds a man on his hands and knees, dark silhouetted, "Hey, Connor, is that you cool guy?"

"She is in my head, she took my soul, she took my heart, and she avoided sol."

"What the hell does that mean Connor?" replies Ander, not following.

"She has my head, she is here. She has had me all along. Nega me, he is here." says Connor.

"Why do you keep speaking fanatically guy?"

"Kill me, end my sorrow. End my life, and I will be free from fear. Kill me now, and I will give them bear."

"OK." says Ander as he kills Connor in his dream, waking him up also.

[HEADING=1]Back at the convention center in Canada.[/HEADING]

Ander get off his number 7 seat and looks over to number 6 to find it empty. "Connor, were did you go?"

"Hey, Martin, your awake, where's Connor?" says Ander.

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN APPLELOOSA![/HEADING]

Walking up to the second story, Ghost points out a compartment in the wall.

Roach: "Looks like a laundry chute."

Ghost: "It isn't. This chute doesn't lead to the basement."

Braeburn: "Where do you think it goes?"

Ghost: "It looks like it drops down into a tunnel. It might lead somewhere."

RaN: "It might have been the killer's escape route. Ghost, get down there. See where it leads. We'll maintain contact with you on the surface."

Ghost: "Why me?"

RaN: "You're the one who found it."

Ghost: *sigh*

Ghost slings his rifle over his back and begins to climb down. Hanging onto the edge, he slips and falls down the shaft. A noticeable bang is heard when he hits the bottom. I look into the chute to make sure he's alright.

RaN: "You okay?!"

Ghost: "Yeah!"

RaN: "See anything down there?"

Ghost: "I was right, there is a tunnel down here! More narrow than I hoped it would be."

RaN: "Good. We'll see you on the other side."

Ghost finds a small cart with a rope and pulley system running along side the wall. He slides onto his back and starts pulling the rope, pulling the cart forward.

As we walk outside, Roach and I are accompanied by Braeburn and the Sheriff.

RaN: "We need to link up with HQ fast. Where can we get a signal out here?"

Braeburn: "The closest tower is about twenty miles away. You guys need a ride?"

Roach: "Uh... Sure."

I saddle up on Braeburn while Roach tries to climb up onto the Sheriff's back.

Roach: "This is surprisingly awkward."

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Well, I am sure it's nothing. I mean, Connor's dream was really trippy and stuff, full of haunted houses and basements. He said something about a Nega something, but whatever and stuff. Now to browse the internet!" says Ander as he does so.

Spoiler: OOC

Oh yeah, happy to have you back Tox.

 

[RaNDM G]

Suddenly, a new screen pops up on Martin's computer.

"Uh... Okay."

Martin clicks play.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Hey guy, be quiet please, trying to browse /y/." says Ander to Martin.

"Look, I don't give a shit, you be quiet." says Martin, focusing on his game.

"Heh, fine." says Ander. Wonder whats going on at /d/?

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Oh nothing." says Ander as he closes the rule 34 Mall Fight thread, after saving a few images from it. "So, like I said earlier, have you seen Connor?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"First of all, how do you know these things, I am a higher power and even I am not that perceptive." says Ander, "Second, after you answer that I am going to go after Connor if you don't mind, I have a bad feeling the cool guy may be startled by his insane dream."

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Yeah, just don't tell anyone else about, he feels insecure about it and stuff." says Ander as he walks off to the women's bathroom half way across the convention center. Quarter of the way across the convention center he see a trail of foot print, leading also to the bathrooms. "Hermp."

He keeps walking, and as he gets close, he hears this.


He walks to the women's stall the whining like music and said "Cooler guy, is that you?"

"Ha, ha ha ha haHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH*cough*hhahahHAHAHHAHAAA-EXTERMINATE!" yells Connor as he makes a circular blast around the bathroom.

"Ow, that hurt cool guy." says Ander, pushed up ageist a wall. He looks up at Connor to see he has a grey silolet, with black colored eyes and his palm pointing at Connor. "You must be Nega Connor."

"Heh, heh heh heh heh HAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA*cough, cough*ah ha ha HAHAHAHA!" says the dark entity taking hold of Connor's mind as he turns his body into a black entity on the ground that rushes in the direction of Tox-n-Martin-n-Friend.

"Oh shit, I better help them." says Ander he gets off the wall and runs to where the Crysis tournament is set up.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"ha ha HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAhAHAAH!" yell Nega Connor as he takes Connor's form, still Nega like, not damaged.

"He must be powered by some other means than the Auditor's!" yells Martin trys to hold Connor back using telekinesis, and pushes Connor to the wall, knocking over the Computers as Tox-n-Friends try to hold on.

"HA HA HA HA HA-" says Connor as he teleports out the wall, and then he apears right behind Marin as he kicks him so hard in the balls in knocks his body into the air and his head into the roof. "Heh heh heh." says Nega Connor as he looks over to Tox-n-Friends insanely.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"heh heh heh." says Connor as he raises his hand and yells "EXTERMINATE!"

Jim is unharmed as he gets closer.

"A HA HA HA!" says Connor as he spawns a .223 caliber extended mag pistol and fires it at Jim, nothing.

"HA HA HA HA HAH HAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he says as he keeps firing the gun at Jim.

"So asshole, not so useless am I now!" yells Jim as he enters my body and goes into my subconscious. Nega Connor, not caring and hardly noticing, goes after Tox, Martin, and the rest of his friends.

[HEADING=1]In Connor's mind[/HEADING]

The house is silent, full of junk, crying is coming from the bedroom, Jim spawns in the entrance of the house.

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]In Connor's mind[/HEADING]

"Who wishes to see me in my disgrace." says Connor to Jim as he lands. "I have spent 5 hours here and I already see why my... other self hates me."

[HEADING=1]Back at Canada.[/HEADING]

Nega Connor stops his steps after Tox, sits down ageist a wall, and tries to fall asleep.

[HEADING=1]Back in Connor's mind[/HEADING]

Spoiler: OOC

Time moves slower in the subconscious, so by the time Tox gets to Kuujjuaq, things will be settled with Nega me. Lets just focus on finishing the subplot with my insanity. I'll bring in Ander later for perspective.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Before all this horse shit with the mall, before Sister took me here, I had Manic episodes. I was crazy half the time, so I kept that part of me from showing. I dumped all my bad feelings into that part of my mind, creating a Oubliette in my subconscious. For a time it worked, but them I met, someone..."

"Who?!" says Jim.

"It was a girl, I can't even remember her name now that it has been sooo long, but I loved her, and she didn't. After I threw these feelings at my manic side, I lost it. Then I got the note from sister, and she put me in my own subconscious. That is how I became the badass I am now, but I still kept the Oubliette, inside her house, which I never went to and eventaly forgot was even there. She was the only one I loved, but, I forgot. Then, after I remember thanks to the files, I have been afraid that my manic side would come out again, but it didn't. I don't know what is going on with me now, I though I had forgotten."

"You can never forget Connor." says Nega Connor as he spawns 10 feet away from them.

"L-leave me alone, I can't have anyone thanks to you."

"But, you still love her, don't you!"

"NO!" yells Connor, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

[HEADING=1]At the Canadian Convention center.[/HEADING]

Ander sees Nega Connor's sleeping body, and them absorbs himself into Connor.

[HEADING=1]Back in Connor's Oubliette[/HEADING]

 

[Knife-28]

"DID SOMEONE SAY HAM?!" I YELL, spawning next to Nega Conners body.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Oh look, it's the fag you seem to think your in love with." say Nega Connor as he fires a extermination ray at Ander, and then punches Jim across the oubliette, knocking the paper and pen away.

Connor looks to Ander. "Why are you doing this too me."

"Because I don't want to take control of your weak mind Connor, I just don't want to you ruin your life with this literal faggotry." says Nega Connor.

Ander gets up and walks over to Connor.

Jim scrummages to find his pen and paper.

"I love Alexander, not what's her name!" yells Connor.

"Then why do you hide your feelings for them with you friends, you don't really care about them, you want Kris-"

"I don't! She didn't care about me, and nether do you!" yells Connor as he raises his hand at the same time as Nega Connor to each other.

Jim reaches his pen, still looking for the paper on the dusty ground.

Ander gets closer.

"How do you know that? You told her to fuck off and then cut and run!"

"And why would I do that! Because I love her!?"

"Well..."

"I don't need your shit! I just want what is best for us! Something that you may not appreciate, but your not the one in charge around here. I am."

"Well, tough guy, fire your extermination ray! Do it!"

Jim finds his paper and starts writing.

Connor and Nega Connor start walking to each other, still ready to yell exterminate. Ander approaches.

"Do it!"

"You first!"

They are face to face, palms pressing ageist each other's stomachs. Ander comes up to them.

"I HATE YOU!" they both yell, then they look to the side of the Oubliette that is opposite to Jim who is getting up and preparing to read his speech. Ander pulls the two Connor's heads together and kisses both of them, and Connor and Nega Connor absorb into one.

Jim starts to read his speech.

Spoiler: OOC EDIT

Yeah, sorry Knife. You did read the last page, right?

Edit: Waiting on Tox to make a funny line for Jimmy.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor wakes up. "Man, that was, interesting." says Connor.

*LEVEL UP*

Connor has gained new summon, NEGA CONNOR

A corrupted version of Connor, has demonic powers and suffers from homophobia

Skills:

Sneak: 80 from 50

Perks: CONFIDENT Bachelor

Openly gay (or bi) and can sense when someone is secretly gay or doesn't know that they are gay

"Your welcome cool guy." says Ander.

"Thanks cool guy." says Connor, and then wanders his eyes over to Knife. "Hey aren't you the guy who knocked out my teeth that one time, not that I give a shit at this particular moment?"

Spoiler: OOC

Nah, it's OK.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"Shut up what's your name." says Nega Connor.

"Jim, he is Jim." says Connor.

 

[Connor Lonske]

"[Confident Bachelor]Nope, I don't give a shit about being in the closet anymore. I'm half gay, and personally like men over women socially." says Connor, "[Speech 69]If you have problem with than, then I will let Nega Connor kill you."

Martin takes off his troll face and puts on a poker one.