Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Knife-28]

"Gahh!" I cry out in surprise, startling Zecora.
"That was quite a shout you just gave, is the cause of it, something grave?"
"No, No I'm fine." I say, as I try to pick the voice I heard, "Do you have anything to help me sleep?"
"Ah, that is a simple brew, I will return shortly with your stew."
"Thanks." I say as she exits the room, and I lay back down on the bed, starring at the featureless ceiling. 'Great, now I'm hearing voices as well, I an just one big old bucket of crazy'

 

[Knife-28]

'Just ignore the voices and they'll got away...

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]THE JACK OF SPADES SITUATION[/HEADING]

"Hey, I got an idea." says Connor. "HEY COOL GUY!"

Jack growls.

"YOU LIKE THAT HAT AND STUFF!"

Jack looks up, and looks back down. He growls harder.

"I BET YOU WOULD LOVE IT IF SOMEONE DESTROYED IT!"

"Aroh?" says Jack.

Connor raises his sniper and aims it at the hat. He fires and it flies off his head.

Connor than takes a rag and puts it into a bottle of vodka he was holding, lights up the rag with a match, and throws it at the hat. The hat gets on fire. Jack Noir watches.

"..."

The fire goes down.

"Grrrrrrrrrh." says Jack, and then he flies away out of the mall and to fuck know where.

"So, Waffles, want to get drunk for the next few post and not do anything important?" says Connor.

"Fuck that, Me and Jade are going to Burger King." and he does.

[HEADING=2]Several post later[/HEADING]

Connor wakes up and reactivates D-FB. "OPERATION." they go outside the bar again and call Tox on the scouter.

[HEADING=1]At Ashfire[/HEADING]

"Knife,if you are thinking you're crazy,then this means it works. I want to help you,so could you please tell me where you are?" says Tox as he transmits his voice to Knife's subconscious, a trick Martin uses.

"Hey Tox, hows stuff?"

 

[Knife-28]

'A mall? Why would I want to go to a mall?' I look down, and see my ripped and batted suit. 'Well, I guess some new clothes would be nice...'

 

[Connor Lonske]

"...I'm being told how to spell simple something by a thirteen year old..." says Real Connor.

"First of all, shut up really me you not cool guy." say Connor on the Scouter, "Second of all, OH COOL KNIFE IS BACK WELCOME BACK COOL GUY."

[HEADING=1]In the evergreen forest[/HEADING]

"God, who is this other asshole I made up." says Knife. "I must be crazy."

[HEADING=1]At Ashfire-I mean Ashfie[/HEADING]

"Connor, shut the fuck up." says Tox.

"Your no fun other guy." and Connor hangs up.

[HEADING=1]At the Canada Mall.[/HEADING]

"What assholes, right D-FB?" says Connor.

"YEAH."

 

[Knife-28]

Before I can answer, I hear Zecora yelling angrily in Swahili, and the door to my room being kicked down, before realize what hit me, I'm knocked out.

 

[Knife-28]

Spoiler: OOC

sorry, school, bye

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN CANTERLOT![/HEADING]

Ghost, Roach and I sit in the old office. Things here haven't changed much since Lyra became the new director.

Roach: "So, what are we looking at?"

Lyra: "We've picked up reports of trans-dimensional energy in the Everfree Forest. Celestia is concerned that our planet may have been discovered by an extraterrestrial civilization. She needs volunteers for a new space program."

RaN: "Specifically us?"

Lyra: "Yep."

RaN: "Well, it's better than just sitting around waiting for a case. What do you guys think?"

Ghost: "I'm out. Not much of a fan of flying. Roach?"

Roach: "Actually, I've been to space. It's nothing special in my opinion."

RaN: "Guess it's just me. Where do I sign up?"

Lyra: "We have a van waiting for you outside."

A cloth sack is thrown over my head and I am escorted out of the room.

Lyra: "Good luck!"

[HEADING=1]ON ASHFIE![/HEADING]

NaR: "So, we're looking for Tox now?"

RaN: "Yep."

NaR: "Do you know where he is?"

RaN: "Nope."

NaR: "How are we supposed to find him?"

RaN: "I dunno."

NaR: "We're just going to fly around the galaxy until we get lucky?"

RaN: "That's the plan."

NaR: "... I hate you."

NaR and I board the Ebon Hawk and take off from the planet's surface.

[HEADING=1]IN OTHERWORLD![/HEADING]

Sister tours the Mall, searching for items that will help her continue her quest for revenge. She walks past the clocktower, reminiscing about the fight at the top. Eventually she comes across a wall of darkness.

Sister: "I didn't think he would be so literal."

A pair of hands reaches out from the darkness and pulls her in.

 

[Connor Lonske]

[HEADING=1]Outside Canada Mall[/HEADING]

Connor and D-FB are leaning on a wall, looking cool.

D-FB rolls off the wall and says, "I'M AM FUCKING MENTALLY UNDER STIMULATED!"

He cools down.

"BUT THIS SENSATION OF BOREDOM IS THE FIRST STEP TO REGAINING ADDICTION OR MENTAL INSTABILITY."

Connor gets his boom box and plays the song on the link.

https://8bc.org/music/jesus_seashell/goodbye+horses+%28q+lazarus+cover%29/

"AFFIRMATIVE" says D-FB and does a several sexually things to himself that Daleks with female programing fine attractive.

Connor joins joins in.

 

[Knife-28]

[HEADING=1]IN THE EVERFREE FOREST![/HEADING]

Zecora stands, looking an the spot where I disappeared from. She snaps out of her daze and casts her gaze over to the small bag containing my possessions. She thinks for a moment, before she starts speeding around the room, gathering various knick knacks from various shelves.

[HEADING=1]ON ASHFIE![/HEADING]
As I regain conciseness, I see a man, speaking to several other people, some of which look a little like him. "Who the he'll are you peo-

[HEADING=1]IN THE EVERFREE FOREST![/HEADING]
"-ple?!" I finish saying before realizing I'm back in Zecora's house.
"Yes, I did it," Zecora says, panting, "Now if you excuse me, I will, for a while, sit." Zecora slumps down, and instantly falls asleep. I try to get my bearings, and see a bag sitting nearby. As I open it, and pull out one of the tanto inside, a spike of pain goes through my head, as I remember myself using them, killing people. "Oh god..." I mutter, before slipping it back in the pack, shrugging it on, and, with a look back at the sleeping Zecora, a whispered 'Thank you', before I head out into the forest.

Spoiler: OOC

Tox, could you not do what you did before again, I spent like, a day and a half on this -_-

 

[WafflesandBacon]

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE AT A BURGER KING![/HEADING]
I eat a whopper, Jade eats a salad, slowly moving around the lettuce, "Something wrong?"
"oh i'm fine.....", she says, "i'm kinda worried about jack is all...., she sighs, "its just hes a pyscho omnipotent mega killer and he just disappear into the who knows where!!!"
"It's all right,", I say, in a comforting voice, "I'm sure wherever he is, he can't hurt people."

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE ON SOSARIA[/HEADING]
Jack Noir rests on the dead carcasses of several Balrons, he's absolutely bored out of his fucking mind. God, he misses her.
Jack then sees a door, glowing almost brighter then sun itself. Jack wasted no time and walk through it.

[HEADING=1]NOW ON ASHFIE[/HEADING]
Jack appears next to a large entity, "WHO DARES COME INTO MY PRESENCE, I WHO RAISED GREAT EARTH SERPENT OUT OF THE VOID FROM THE VOID, I WHO-"
Jack started to kill the entity.

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE ON A ASTEROID IN THE VEIL[/HEADING]
"GOG FUCKING DAMMIT!", a young grey male alien with nubby horns screamed and banged on his banged keyboard.
"What Seems To Be The Problem?", said a fashionable female grey alien with the one straight horn and one crooked horn.
"FUCKING JADE DISAPPEAR OFF THE GOGDAMN INCESPHERE. HOW AND WHY THE FUCK DID SHE DID SHE DO THAT!?"
"I Suggest We All Stay Level-Headed At The Moment The Last Thing We Need Is To Fly Off The Handle"
"NO! HANDLE FLYING IS THE ONLY SENSIBLE FUCKING SOLUTION FOR THIS FUCKING MATTER! WE MUST DIVORCE OURSELVES FROM THE THAT FUCKING HANDLE!"
"Karkat We Must-", the female alien was interrupted by a door appearing. A door that shined greater than Faygo in the Alterian sun.
"OH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!", Karkat yelled, he then stormed and opened the door.
"Karkat Be Careful"
Karkat stood aghast, "OH. DEAR. GOG."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I chomp on my whopper, "The what now?"
Jade turns her head inquiringly.

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN ASHFIE[/HEADING]
Jack Noir drubs the entity with his foot to make sure he's dead.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"What the fuck was that?!", I yell.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Jade gets sucked in too, "oh noooooooooo"

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN KILLRON KEEP[/HEADING]
"WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS!?"
"I Think Its Pretty", the female troll said.
"KANAYA, YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THE ALTERIAN SUN, YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON PRETTY IS FUCKED UP!"

 

[Knife-28]

After wandering around in the maze of trees that is the Everfree Forest, I eventually find a clearing, and sit down for a breather. I notice a low humming sound, and look up, to see it being made by a portal suspended just above the canopy. A spike of pain bursts through my head, and I remember activating the portal, stepping through it, and then falling. I shrudder, and move to leave, when I hear wingbeats behind me. I turn, and see a group of royal guard ponies landing, and those who have are heading my way. "Stop right there criminal scum!" One of them yells, and I do stop, and put my hands above my head. I contemplate having run as the guards drop me in my knees and force a bag over my head and knock me out.

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]IN SPACE![/HEADING]

Tox's signal cuts out.

NaR: "Well, that was easy."

The Ebon Hawk flies back towards Ashfie and docks on the port of an Alliance Sky Fortress. We are immediately accosted by Marines.

Trooper: "Stop right there, criminal scum!"

Admiral: "Relax, they're with the Sixth Wall. Welcome aboard the SK Leningrad, agents."

RaN: "Good to see you Admiral. We just received a message from Tox. Any idea where we can find him?"

Alphonse: "We intercepted his signal a few hours ago. Kind of stupid of him to broadcast on an open channel, but I'll take all the breaks I can get. We triangulated his signal outside of Merced. We can get you down there in two minutes. Just be careful. Merced is a war zone."

RaN: "Thanks for the tip."

NaR and I board a helicopter and fly towards the town.

[HEADING=1]IN OTHERWORLD![/HEADING]

Wandering through the darkness, Sister comes across a vague figure standing among the shadows.

Sister: "So, did you come here to kill me?"

Clarence: "I was about to ask you the very same question."

 

[Knife-28]

[HEADING=1]IN EQUESTRIA![/HEADING]

As I come too, I find the bag has been removed, and I am being dragged down a long and undiscript corridor by two people who look to be soilders, one with a skull mask, the other with a mohawk. I cough explosivly, and the two men stop. "Well well," Skull Mask says, looking down at me, "Looks like our 'guest' here is wake."
"I'd like my phone call please" I manage to splutter out between coughs.
"Ah, a wise guy eh? Well, better than a homocidal maniac, eh Roach?" Skull Face says, before chuckling at his own joke.
"Can it Ghost, lets just get the prisinor to his cell, then wait for Ran to get back." The on Skull Face, aparantly know as 'Ghost' called Roach. Before they rsume dragging me, I manage to pull my arms free, hitting Roach in the nose with my elbow in the process, and start running down the corridor. "Ah bolleks, we got a runaway on the prison level, I repeat, we have a run away on the prison level!" Ghost yells into his radio as he and Roach run after me, Roach cluttching his bleeding nose. "The little blighter, when I catch you!" Roach leaves the rest unsaid, but I get the idea, and pour on more speed. I turn, and half crash, half fall through the door bearing a sign saying 'Stairwell'. I turn, and, grabbing the first thing I see, a janitors cart out of the hoofs of a stunned janitor, jam the door and nearly fly up the winding stairwell.
I manage to go two landings before I hear the door smashed open, and two more sets of foot falls on the stairs below me. "Control, Prisinor is on the eastern stairwell, he may be heading for reception, do not let him escape!" I beguin to slow, before speeding up again and bursting through the door to the lobby of the building, literaly jumping over the aging sercurity guard facing the door, and burst through the front doors of the building, blinking in the bright sunlight and catching the surprised looks from pedestrians. I look to my left, and, upon seeing the large group of royal guards aproaching from that direction, hook a right, and head towards the biggest building I can see, a castle, adorned with banners of a stylised sun. 'I can see no other posible outcome' I think to myself as I sprint across lawns and terrices, before crossing a bridge into the castle grounds.

 

[Ren3004]

"Guys, guys, what is going on?"

 

[Ren3004]

"Well, I'm here. But you have to come with me! We've got to travel back in time!"

 

[Ren3004]

"Of course, Martin!"