Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
- Thread starter Claymorez
- Start date
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Backroom shoots Sam in the balls and in both legs with a custom chambered .45-70 Government mag USP Tactical, putting him in very great pain and disabling him. "Time doesn't stop if your Pip-Boy is a improbability drive. That was for calling my name stupid."
Connor cracks his back, "Tox, could you explain how we are fighting a difference sister, not the one from the first thread, it's just a ironically named coincidence. Oh, and this hurts."
"Oh yeah, and people don't re spawn and stuff unless they are in the mall." says Ander.
Connor cracks his back, "Tox, could you explain how we are fighting a difference sister, not the one from the first thread, it's just a ironically named coincidence. Oh, and this hurts."
"Oh yeah, and people don't re spawn and stuff unless they are in the mall." says Ander.
[HEADING=1]ON ASHFIE![/HEADING]
As we fly over the town of Merced searching for Tox, the helicopter is shot down.
RaN: "FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!"
We crash down into the town, bullets whizzing overhead. Looking around, I spot the Alliance engaging what appear to be the UNSC.
Alliance Trooper: "Halo sucks! Any game BioWare makes is ten times better than what Bungie can do!"
UNSC Trooper: "Fuck you ya stupid tryhard! Halo and Marathon were here first!"
NaR: "Jeezus, it's a fanboy war."
NaR steps out of the destroyed helicopter.
NaR: "Hey assholes! Im'ma let you finish, but Alien versus Predator 2 was the best sci-fi shooter of all time!"
The gunfire stops as both sides stare at NaR questionably. Both the Alliance and the UNSC open fire on us.
RaN: "You sure do know how to piss people off."
As we fly over the town of Merced searching for Tox, the helicopter is shot down.
RaN: "FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!"
We crash down into the town, bullets whizzing overhead. Looking around, I spot the Alliance engaging what appear to be the UNSC.
Alliance Trooper: "Halo sucks! Any game BioWare makes is ten times better than what Bungie can do!"
UNSC Trooper: "Fuck you ya stupid tryhard! Halo and Marathon were here first!"
NaR: "Jeezus, it's a fanboy war."
NaR steps out of the destroyed helicopter.
NaR: "Hey assholes! Im'ma let you finish, but Alien versus Predator 2 was the best sci-fi shooter of all time!"
The gunfire stops as both sides stare at NaR questionably. Both the Alliance and the UNSC open fire on us.
RaN: "You sure do know how to piss people off."
"Hey, crotch jokes! Fuckin' hilarious!" I cry, downed by the bullet I took to the 'nads.
"Oh, bugger..." I struggle to my feet and limp over to Ren. "He's... he's dead now, is he? For real?" Martin nods. "Piss! I actually liked him! Ah, this won't do... Welp, I s'pose there's only one thing for it, then."
I crouch down over Ren's body. "There wasn't much I could contribute here, anyway... you've already got a Sam. A much less awesome Sam, mind, but one nontheless. Ah, I'm wasting time..."
Summoning up the conflicting energies of time and space from within me, I plant my lips over Ren's and breathe my own life energy into him. I hold the kiss for a bit longer than necessary, then roll over onto my back and pass away into death. "You kids have fun..."
"Oh, bugger..." I struggle to my feet and limp over to Ren. "He's... he's dead now, is he? For real?" Martin nods. "Piss! I actually liked him! Ah, this won't do... Welp, I s'pose there's only one thing for it, then."
I crouch down over Ren's body. "There wasn't much I could contribute here, anyway... you've already got a Sam. A much less awesome Sam, mind, but one nontheless. Ah, I'm wasting time..."
Summoning up the conflicting energies of time and space from within me, I plant my lips over Ren's and breathe my own life energy into him. I hold the kiss for a bit longer than necessary, then roll over onto my back and pass away into death. "You kids have fun..."
"Oh boy." says Alexander the Great as he heals Sam.
"Aw fucking hell I wanted to be dead! What's this in my pants?" says Sam.
Alexander tries his best not to laugh.
"Sorry cool guy, or should I say gal, your transgender!" say Backroom, as the two start laughing there asses off.
"Aw fucking hell I wanted to be dead! What's this in my pants?" says Sam.
Alexander tries his best not to laugh.
"Sorry cool guy, or should I say gal, your transgender!" say Backroom, as the two start laughing there asses off.
I slowly rise to my feet, stagger over to Alexander, and give him the biggest goddamn hug I've ever given anyone in my life.
"Thank you," I whisper, then shuffle off to a quiet corner of the room and start playing with my new breasts in a session which will probably last longer than the rest of the thread will.
"Thank you," I whisper, then shuffle off to a quiet corner of the room and start playing with my new breasts in a session which will probably last longer than the rest of the thread will.
[HEADING=1]1 minuet before hand, as Tox forgot to point out![/HEADING]
"Hell, I can't blame him!" says Connor, "ME NEXT ME NEXT!" yell Connor to Alexander.
"Ugh." says Alexander as he changes Connor's gender.
"[Cherchez La Femme]Hey cool gal, want to do stuff and stuff?"
"Hell, I can't blame him!" says Connor, "ME NEXT ME NEXT!" yell Connor to Alexander.
"Ugh." says Alexander as he changes Connor's gender.
Connor walks over to Sam.
"[Cherchez La Femme]Hey cool gal, want to do stuff and stuff?"
[HEADING=1]IN MERCED![/HEADING]
Scrounging around the helicopter, I strap on a jetpack and boost from the burning wreckage into a nearby watchtower. NaR cloaks himself and stabs a sniper in the back, using his rifle to cover me. Inside the tower, I access the UNSC's battle network.
RaN: "Alright, let's see what these guys know... Hey NaR, can you hear me?"
NaR: Yeah. What is it?
RaN: "These guys have Tox's signal tracked down. I'm calling down the ship. Clear an LZ."
NaR: On it.
NaR sneaks away from the fight and finds an Alliance marine in a standoff with two UNSC troopers. He stabs the marine from in the back and takes the handgun from his holster. He kills the two troopers with headshots and finishes off the marine with a shot to the head.
Elsewhere on the battlefield, I call down the Ebon Hawk using the device on my wrist. I boost out of the tower. As I fly over the kill zone, my jetpack is shot out and I crash down into the ground next to NaR. We board the Ebon Hawk as it lands and fly away from the battlefield.
[HEADING=3]THIRTY MINUTES LATER![/HEADING]
The Ebon Hawk parallel parks in front of the DeLorean.
Scrounging around the helicopter, I strap on a jetpack and boost from the burning wreckage into a nearby watchtower. NaR cloaks himself and stabs a sniper in the back, using his rifle to cover me. Inside the tower, I access the UNSC's battle network.
RaN: "Alright, let's see what these guys know... Hey NaR, can you hear me?"
NaR: Yeah. What is it?
RaN: "These guys have Tox's signal tracked down. I'm calling down the ship. Clear an LZ."
NaR: On it.
NaR sneaks away from the fight and finds an Alliance marine in a standoff with two UNSC troopers. He stabs the marine from in the back and takes the handgun from his holster. He kills the two troopers with headshots and finishes off the marine with a shot to the head.
Elsewhere on the battlefield, I call down the Ebon Hawk using the device on my wrist. I boost out of the tower. As I fly over the kill zone, my jetpack is shot out and I crash down into the ground next to NaR. We board the Ebon Hawk as it lands and fly away from the battlefield.
[HEADING=3]THIRTY MINUTES LATER![/HEADING]
The Ebon Hawk parallel parks in front of the DeLorean.
RaN: "I forgot how much of a prick that guy was."
NaR steps out of the Ebon Hawk.
NaR: "So, what's going on?"
RaN: "Well, Tox is pissed at current events and Connor keeps screwing around with other guys. What else is new?"
NaR: "Maybe we should go find that Ren guy?"
RaN: "Nah. I'm just going to sit on that bench and wait for something important to happen."
NaR: "Well... I'll be in the ship if you need anything."
NaR climbs back into the ship. I sit down on the bench. It starts to rain heavily.
RaN: "Nope. Not gonna bother me."
NaR steps out of the Ebon Hawk.
NaR: "So, what's going on?"
RaN: "Well, Tox is pissed at current events and Connor keeps screwing around with other guys. What else is new?"
NaR: "Maybe we should go find that Ren guy?"
RaN: "Nah. I'm just going to sit on that bench and wait for something important to happen."
NaR: "Well... I'll be in the ship if you need anything."
NaR climbs back into the ship. I sit down on the bench. It starts to rain heavily.
RaN: "Nope. Not gonna bother me."
RaN: "Nope. I don't care anymore. I've been here for... what, four months now? It's the same old shit everyday. I'm getting sick of this."
Tox: "Oh..."
RaN: "You guys go on ahead. I need some time to think about this..."
I lean back on the bench and think.
Tox: "Oh..."
RaN: "You guys go on ahead. I need some time to think about this..."
I lean back on the bench and think.