Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
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"Justin, and if you put Beiber anywhere near my name, I'm blowing your fucking head off." I press a large red button, the van flies off into the sky.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE AT...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"Wow, I'm stupid in real life!", I hand Tox his scouter.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE AT...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"Wow, I'm stupid in real life!", I hand Tox his scouter.
(OOC=Edited!)
"I don't fucking know!", I say, "I told this would happen if the Fourth Wall broke, I mean Waffles did, I mean-GAH! This shit confusing!"
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"I wonder if we'll meet the guy who made Robo-Waffles.", I say following Tox.
"I don't fucking know!", I say, "I told this would happen if the Fourth Wall broke, I mean Waffles did, I mean-GAH! This shit confusing!"
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"I wonder if we'll meet the guy who made Robo-Waffles.", I say following Tox.
I suddenly have on a red and black hoodie, black jeans and card themed gym shoes, "What the hell?"
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"A hand? We're gonna meet a hand? C'mon, Tox be a m-"
We are suddenly are surrounded by store mannequins.
I crawl into the fetal position.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"A hand? We're gonna meet a hand? C'mon, Tox be a m-"
We are suddenly are surrounded by store mannequins.
I crawl into the fetal position.
"Not as easy as it sounds!", the van brakes hard, crashes into the hospital over a sickly, bedridden old man.
"WHAT THE FUCK!", he screams.
A trunk slides toward me, "Oh, I forgot!", I search through the trunk and find black sword and a somewhat mechanical arm, I give the arm to Martin, "Waffles/I said we might need these, however they don't have the same magical/scientific abilities, so be careful."
I jump out the van and look at the old man, "Better pray to whatever god you serve."
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
I slowly stand up, "So...We're gonna die?"
"WHAT THE FUCK!", he screams.
A trunk slides toward me, "Oh, I forgot!", I search through the trunk and find black sword and a somewhat mechanical arm, I give the arm to Martin, "Waffles/I said we might need these, however they don't have the same magical/scientific abilities, so be careful."
I jump out the van and look at the old man, "Better pray to whatever god you serve."
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
I slowly stand up, "So...We're gonna die?"
I look at the sword, "I fucked up.", I switch with Martin.
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"Huh. Weird.", I then grab my head, "Oh God, real me did something stupid!"
[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"Huh. Weird.", I then grab my head, "Oh God, real me did something stupid!"
The fireballs are actual bouncy balls, on fire, though, "I told it doesn't work the same in real life!"
I AGGRAVATE the nurses, making them leave in a huff.
[HEADING=1]...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
I pause for a second, "WHERE THE HELL DID WE GET A CAR FROM!?"
I AGGRAVATE the nurses, making them leave in a huff.
[HEADING=1]...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
I pause for a second, "WHERE THE HELL DID WE GET A CAR FROM!?"
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD![/HEADING]
I wander through the basement of the hospital and come across the busted generator. But the gate is sealed with a padlock. I try to pry it open with my hands, but it won't budge.
"Why would someone want to keep this locked?"
I step back from the gate and notice writing on the wall scrawled in blood.
Louise
I'll take care of you four ever.
It's my destiny!
Below the writing is a box, sitting on a desk. The box is wrapped in chains and secured by two padlocks.
"How can I get into this box?"
I find a pair of bolt-cutters and cut away the chains and locks.
"That was easy."
I open the box and find a piece of hair.
"The fuck am I supposed to do with this?"
I leave the hair in the box.
I notice the blood on the walls dripping down the floor into an open drain. This part of the basement must not be as flooded as the rest. Out of morbid curiosity, I peer inside the drain and spot a key dangling from a screw. I reach inside, but something stings the tip of my finger.
My hand is pulled down the drain, slamming me into the floor. I scream in pain.
"AAAAaAaAAAaAAaaAHhHHHHHhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"
I grab the key and pull my arm out. My hand has been severely cut, but I'll survive.
I unlock the gate and turn the auxiliary power back on. As the lights turn on, I spot a shadow moving from the corner of my eye. I take cover in the stairwell, careful not to make any noise. A grinding sound is heard as a huge man wearing a mask drags a nurse behind him. He pins her to the wall and cuts her open with a giant cleaver. Kind of like this:
"Holy shit."
Recognizing my presence, the man looks at me and walks away. His steel cleaver screeches against the wet floor. I shut and lock the stairwell door.
I wander through the basement of the hospital and come across the busted generator. But the gate is sealed with a padlock. I try to pry it open with my hands, but it won't budge.
"Why would someone want to keep this locked?"
I step back from the gate and notice writing on the wall scrawled in blood.
Louise
I'll take care of you four ever.
It's my destiny!
Below the writing is a box, sitting on a desk. The box is wrapped in chains and secured by two padlocks.
"How can I get into this box?"
I find a pair of bolt-cutters and cut away the chains and locks.
"That was easy."
I open the box and find a piece of hair.
"The fuck am I supposed to do with this?"
I leave the hair in the box.
I notice the blood on the walls dripping down the floor into an open drain. This part of the basement must not be as flooded as the rest. Out of morbid curiosity, I peer inside the drain and spot a key dangling from a screw. I reach inside, but something stings the tip of my finger.
My hand is pulled down the drain, slamming me into the floor. I scream in pain.
"AAAAaAaAAAaAAaaAHhHHHHHhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"
I grab the key and pull my arm out. My hand has been severely cut, but I'll survive.
I unlock the gate and turn the auxiliary power back on. As the lights turn on, I spot a shadow moving from the corner of my eye. I take cover in the stairwell, careful not to make any noise. A grinding sound is heard as a huge man wearing a mask drags a nurse behind him. He pins her to the wall and cuts her open with a giant cleaver. Kind of like this:
"Holy shit."
Recognizing my presence, the man looks at me and walks away. His steel cleaver screeches against the wet floor. I shut and lock the stairwell door.
"It means something is coming for us.", I prep my Dalek arm.
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD[/HEADING]
"I'm just gonna give you a warning,", I begin, "If I see a store mannequins, I'll cry like a *****."
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD[/HEADING]
"I'm just gonna give you a warning,", I begin, "If I see a store mannequins, I'll cry like a *****."
"We could teleport to...somewhere that's not here.", I say
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD[/HEADING]
"Oh, ok." I wait upstairs.
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD[/HEADING]
"Oh, ok." I wait upstairs.
"With Pink Floyd music? Its obvious you created somehow.".
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD[/HEADING]
I come downstairs see blood corpses, "What happened?
[HEADING=1]IN THE REAL WORLD[/HEADING]
I come downstairs see blood corpses, "What happened?
"Heard what? Tox", I say, "You gotta have a better relationship with your characters, like I do with Waffles."
[HEADING=1] IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"I hate my creator!" I look at Tox, "I'm just saying that for a Gilligan Cut [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GilliganCut], even though I really do hate him. But in all seriousness, I'm scared out of my fucking mind."
[HEADING=1] IN ...SOMEWHERE[/HEADING]
"I hate my creator!" I look at Tox, "I'm just saying that for a Gilligan Cut [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GilliganCut], even though I really do hate him. But in all seriousness, I'm scared out of my fucking mind."
[HEADING=1]5 pages ago, as everyone gets in the moon gates.[/HEADING]
"Fuck this, I'm getting drunk." says Connor. "Come cool guys."
[HEADING=1]A little before the present.[/HEADING]
Connor wakes up in the bar. "Ughhhh." he looks around to find D-FB not around. "What the fuc-Hey a note."
"Bro. Roof. Now."
"Hummm, well I got nothing better to do. Ander, you got any idea what to do about this?" says Connor.
Silence.
"Whatever. Guess he must be asleep inside me. Ha! I just said he was inside me." Connor goes out to the elevator and climes up to the roof.
"Fuck this, I'm getting drunk." says Connor. "Come cool guys."
[HEADING=1]A little before the present.[/HEADING]
Connor wakes up in the bar. "Ughhhh." he looks around to find D-FB not around. "What the fuc-Hey a note."
"Bro. Roof. Now."
"Hummm, well I got nothing better to do. Ander, you got any idea what to do about this?" says Connor.
Silence.
"Whatever. Guess he must be asleep inside me. Ha! I just said he was inside me." Connor goes out to the elevator and climes up to the roof.
Dave Owns plays as Connor ascends up to highest point of the Mall, but instead of a strings playing the melody, an alto saxophone takes its place.
Thanks for the really cool music Waffles, but It's Sam who I'm gonna meet at the roof, we are planing this out on Skype. Sorry if you had a cool idea and stuff.
Connor makes it to the elevator door to the roof and quickly check his pip-boy, to find it isn't a pip-boy. It says Portable Improbability Drive Pip-Boy skin. There is a message on it
"Connor, play the next two audio files to Sam
From,Backroom And Alexander the Great
P.S. I'm doing stuff now, so not gonna be around to help you until the end fight."
Well this is just great. You open the door to the roof.
"It's about time you- dude, what are you doing here? Where's Ren?" I ask, having been standing out on the roof of the mall with my lab-coat billowing in the wind for about three hours now. "Oh, don't tell me you- damn it, you got the note, didn't you? I told that seagull very clearly, I told it, "bring the note to Ren". That's what you get for relying on untamed suburban fauna, I s'pose... anyway, since you're here, take this."
I toss Connor a putter, and the second he catches it I step forward and clash my golf-club against his. "I was gonna use this on Ren, but since you're here, I might as well just, uh... Aha! It's been far too long since you and I met on the field of battle, my brother! Now, at last, the time has come for us to settle this years-old feud! For tonight, one of our blood must shed! DUEL ME, RE- I MEAN, CONNOR!"
I toss Connor a putter, and the second he catches it I step forward and clash my golf-club against his. "I was gonna use this on Ren, but since you're here, I might as well just, uh... Aha! It's been far too long since you and I met on the field of battle, my brother! Now, at last, the time has come for us to settle this years-old feud! For tonight, one of our blood must shed! DUEL ME, RE- I MEAN, CONNOR!"
Connor throws the club and says "I prefer practical weapons." as he pulls out his Katana.
"What, you think you can cut my club with your swor-" and Connor does so.
"What, you think you can cut my club with your swor-" and Connor does so.
Aggravated, I backflip over to where Connor threw the club I handed him and pick it up off the ground. "Honourless heathen! I'll beat you 'til you bleed piss!"
Holding the club in both hands like a sword, I charge at Connor. When he swings to slice this club in half too, I skid under the blade and whip my weapon out behind me as I pass, striking him in the back. Hopping upwards and pirouetting in the air as I do so, I skid a few more feet and come to rest facing Connor, my weapon still in hand.
"Ah, fuck this," I decide, drop the club, then draw Blacky and Whitey and unload two clips of staples in Connor's direction.
Holding the club in both hands like a sword, I charge at Connor. When he swings to slice this club in half too, I skid under the blade and whip my weapon out behind me as I pass, striking him in the back. Hopping upwards and pirouetting in the air as I do so, I skid a few more feet and come to rest facing Connor, my weapon still in hand.
"Ah, fuck this," I decide, drop the club, then draw Blacky and Whitey and unload two clips of staples in Connor's direction.