Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
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[HEADING=1]IN SPACE![/HEADING]
The ship lands on a remote part of the moon. I step outside.
Roach: Alright. Be advised, you have a large vessel headed towards your position.
RaN: "Repeat that ground control! Did you just say we've got a ship incoming?"
Roach: Affirmative! Get the Hell out of the-
The radio cuts to static. I look out into the sky.
A Marathon-Class Cruiser flies overhead. A cluster of HEVs fire from the starboard bow, landing around us. ODSTs break down the doors and hold us at gunpoint. I raise my hands above my head.
RaN: "Well fuck."
[HEADING=1]ON BOARD THE NAUTILUS![/HEADING]
Knife and I are separated from Luna and taken up to the bridge.
Admiral: "Hello RaNDM. It's been a long time since I last saw you."
RaN: "That you Doc? Holy shit!"
I shake Admiral Who's hand.
RaN: "What happened to you? Last time I saw you, you were a pony."
Admiral: "It's a long story, too long for me to explain to you. Right now, we need to focus on getting you home safe."
RaN: "What about Luna?"
Admiral: "We're sending her back to the planet below. We'll send her sister the message that you're mission was a success and that you have been conscripted into the UNSC."
RaN: "Wait, what do you mean by that?"
Admiral: "We're going to war, soldier."
I am taken to the ship's armory and decked out in full ODST battle gear.
Trooper: "We're dropping into combat in 1400. No time to run any simulations."
RaN: "That's fine with me. I've survived worse drops."
I grab my gear and get in my drop pod. Looking out the porthole, I find that we are orbiting above a planet I have never seen before.
Gunnery Sergeant: We are droppin' into hell, troopers! Time to grow a pair!
RaN: "Here we go."
The ship lands on a remote part of the moon. I step outside.
Roach: Alright. Be advised, you have a large vessel headed towards your position.
RaN: "Repeat that ground control! Did you just say we've got a ship incoming?"
Roach: Affirmative! Get the Hell out of the-
The radio cuts to static. I look out into the sky.
A Marathon-Class Cruiser flies overhead. A cluster of HEVs fire from the starboard bow, landing around us. ODSTs break down the doors and hold us at gunpoint. I raise my hands above my head.
RaN: "Well fuck."
[HEADING=1]ON BOARD THE NAUTILUS![/HEADING]
Knife and I are separated from Luna and taken up to the bridge.
Admiral: "Hello RaNDM. It's been a long time since I last saw you."
RaN: "That you Doc? Holy shit!"
I shake Admiral Who's hand.
RaN: "What happened to you? Last time I saw you, you were a pony."
Admiral: "It's a long story, too long for me to explain to you. Right now, we need to focus on getting you home safe."
RaN: "What about Luna?"
Admiral: "We're sending her back to the planet below. We'll send her sister the message that you're mission was a success and that you have been conscripted into the UNSC."
RaN: "Wait, what do you mean by that?"
Admiral: "We're going to war, soldier."
I am taken to the ship's armory and decked out in full ODST battle gear.
Trooper: "We're dropping into combat in 1400. No time to run any simulations."
RaN: "That's fine with me. I've survived worse drops."
I grab my gear and get in my drop pod. Looking out the porthole, I find that we are orbiting above a planet I have never seen before.
Gunnery Sergeant: We are droppin' into hell, troopers! Time to grow a pair!
RaN: "Here we go."
"Fuck yeah!", I yell, "We have made it so far! Now we're gonna kicks Sister/Dark Forceuser asses and save the Mall!"
I jump down the trapdoor and walk down the corridor, "What is i-Holy shit, ITS THE TABLE DESTROYER!", I tackle Tox and take the sword, "I though you destroyed the blades!"
"Ye-Wait, no.", I say, "Last time I used them, I went psycho and tried to kill everything and everyone."
"Great. I thought universal collision was just theoretical."
[HEADING=1]ON THE SHIP![/HEADING]
NaR repairs his lightsaber using spare parts from the ship. The saber shines a blue blade.
NaR: "Nice. Now if only I can get something to fix up my han-"
NaR screams in pain as the bracelet stabs into his arm. His hand painfully regenerates.
Waffles: "NaR, you okay?"
NaR: "You know what? I've never felt better."
[HEADING=1]ON THE SHIP![/HEADING]
NaR repairs his lightsaber using spare parts from the ship. The saber shines a blue blade.
NaR: "Nice. Now if only I can get something to fix up my han-"
NaR screams in pain as the bracelet stabs into his arm. His hand painfully regenerates.
Waffles: "NaR, you okay?"
NaR: "You know what? I've never felt better."