Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Knife-28]

I wake up in one of the dark chambers under the mall. "Hello" I yell out" is anyone there?"
I staumble and my hand finds a box. Feeling around the box I find a remote . I press the largest button on the remote and I'm blinded from a sudden onslaught of light. As I blink to clear my vision I see that I activated my Interdimensional portal. I squint at the display on the remote and gasp.*Oh crap* I start pressing buttons, trying to shut the portal off. While I do so I fail to see that a number of shapes are coming through the portal. I look up and swear. As I drop the remote and back away from the portal The shapes take become clearer and crisper. I swear and turn to run. A cry of "Exterminate!" cuts throught the air and I fall to the ground. Meanwhile the Daleks continue to flow through the portal...

 

[RockyH]

I walk Straight into the Mall Via the Front Doors, Seeing Carnage unfold around me, I grab a Gardening Chainsaw off a rack in a shop, run towards The Daleks with a cry of 'AAARRRGGGHHH!' (Hey, I'm Not great at making up clever lines) And saw through the daleks eyestalk, one by one. Then, Casually sitting down, I saw through Claymorez's Face.

 

[KitsunetheFox]

"YOU IDIOT! WE WERE GOING TO FIGHT CRIME TOGETHER!"
In my rage, I slice Rory Hosty into ribbons with my katana in a flurry of quick and fluid motion.

Fox looks up at the Dalek's and smiles.
He then pulls out a Photon Disruptor Class Torpedo launcher.
"Good thing I carry this with me on a regular basis."
He fires several shots at the Daleks, killing one with each hit.

 

[RockyH]

I manage to slowly crawl towards The foxs feet, and chainsaw his feet off, before dying and respawning in a cafe.

 

[Knife-28]

As the Daleks spread out into the mall, the interdimensional portal continues along it's paces. The portal bulges and a metal clad humanoid steps thought. The Cybusman observes the chamber for a moment and then starts fiddling with something on its arm. The portal bulges again as more Cybusmen and Cybershades come through...

I respawn on the ground floor of the mall and see an all out war going on. I see a group of Daleks round a corner. I dart in the opposite direction and fall into the hole again. "I have got to stop doing that." I say as I walk down a dark tunnel that looks like the only way out. I start kicking a stone as my eyes adjust to the darkness until the stone clangs against something metallic and I see a blue light swivel towards me. YOU,WILL,COME,WITH,ME!"

Spoiler: OOC

Ok a few ground rules.
The Daleks a vurable to the following:

Eyestalk susceptible to concentrated fire
Arrogance
Lack of imagination
Movellan virus
High explosives
High-powered energy weapons
Dalek gunsticks
Extreme heat,pressure or acids
Extremely low temperatures
Stairs (Certain units without the capacity to hover)
Reliance on logic & machinery

Spoiler: Cybusmen

Spoiler: Cybershades

The Cybusmen have arm mounted lasers and can electocute via touch.

 

[Claymorez]

I find a rubber chicken dalek eradicator and start killing daleks with it. Crying loudly "Row row row your boat gentle down the STREAM!"

"RedFox we must reach the portal"

Then I indicate the cyberman that looks like he has the control module.

 

[Ren3004]

I wake up and exit the furniture shop, only to see claymorez fighting with Daleks, who have taken Knife hostage. "Well, isn't that just great?"

I enter an electronics store and pick up all the batteries I can see. "This should be enough... Well, time to get to work!"

 

[Knife-28]

Spoiler: @Ren

I'm not fighting Daleks, I've just been captured

 

[Ren3004]

Spoiler: Knife

Sorry. I just fixed it.

I hear a few screams from down there. "Come on, hang in there, guys. I just need to make one more stop."

I put some simple traps around my weapon, close the door to the store, and start running towards the food court.

 

[Claymorez]

I see a stranger running towards us. Thou I known his name. Strange.

But I have no time to ponder this further as I throw all my weight behind a blow with my plunger I confiscated from a felled darlek after my rubber chicken was lost.

"To the portal!"

 

[Ren3004]

I run into the Italian restaurant in the food court and jump into the kitchen. After lookign around for a while, I find a bag of macarroni. "Time to head back!"

I open the electronics store, disarm the traps and load my weapon with the macarroni. "At last! My Mech armed with energy and macaroni cannons is ready!"

I hop in the driver's seat and jump down to the battle.

 

[KitsunetheFox]

Fox pulls off the shredded fake-feet and stretches his fox-paws.
"SUCK ON MY PURPLE DEATH YOU ARROGANT TRASH CANS!"
Fox continues to fire the Photon Disruptor Class Torpedo launcher (which shoots purple laser-torpedoes), exploding more and more of them with each hit.
After I run out of ammo, I dual wield Laser-Sword-Poles and start hacking some Cybusmen (and more Daleks) into broken chunks of metal.
"You are no match for my superior Ninja-ness!"
I do some fancy flips as well, just for show and to help with dodging them.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

KitsunetheFox lands on me, I quickly push him off and start yelling at him, "The hell! What the hell! I was just standing right there eating my burrito and-

Oh and now my burrito is splattered all over the floor! You...will....PAY!"
Grabs Kitsune and puts him in a hostage situation hold, with a gun pointed to his head yelling out to everyone, "One move and he's dead!"
...
A reply came from a crowd of people, "Well, actually that's fine by us."
...
"Dammit!"

 

[KitsunetheFox]

Kitsune laughs.
"Kawarimi no jutsu!"
Suddenly, BloodyThoughts and Kitsune switch places, allowing Kitsune to quickly chop BT's head off with his sword. BloodyThoughts is dead.

Then he throws a mexican shuriken that hits SirBryghtside straight between the eyes, yelling "Senior!" as it does so, killing SirBryghtside instantly.

"I guess it was..."
I remove my sunglasses (where the heck did those come from?)
"...lost in translation."
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

[Claymorez]

The dalek portal closes due to Fox's terrible terrible pun and This gives me the distraction I need to finish the last of them off.

Then I realise that there are a whole lot of people here. So I go and stand beside Fox. Waiting for the next move.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

All body parts regenerate, "Okay, you can screw with my burrito, you can kill me, But you cannot! Use my style of killing people!"
For some reason, I grow into a giant fire breathing lizard and start burning everyone to death.
"RAWR!"

 

[Code Monkey]

Yawning, Code Monkey woke up from his daily nap in the mall supply closet. He scratched his back, and lazily opened the door. Immediately he dodged to the right, an unconscious body had been thrown at the door. "What's is going on here?" he shouted, before throwing the body out of his closet. Looking outside, he saw a massive fight going on. "Aw, you guys started a brawl, and nobody woke me up?" He said to the body in front of him. He looked around the closet, and found a mop, a box of light bulbs, and bag filled with mysterious orange powder. He put them all in his infinitely deep pockets, and left to find someone to fight.

 

[RockyH]

Coming out of the Cafe, Dual MiniGuns at my side, I scream 'Chew on this!' Before oblitirating everyone around me, killing them all instantly. 'Heh heh...' I mutter, before picking up the burrito on the floor and take an absent minded bite of it.

 

[Claymorez]

"FOOL!" I yell, ripping the shuriken from my face.

"But how-" Starts Kitsune, cowering.

I drop my empty health potion bottle on the floor.

"Oh."

Kitsune stands up and readies another, while I rev up my energy shield, when a chandelier crushes us both.

Spoiler: claymorez

How the hell did you get thanked?!

I've been a badge hunter for months!

Spoiler: SirBrightSide

ROFL I was inspired by your badge hunting thread after I got the Thanks from the Moderators, and piled on a load of badges - I even worked out that you could do 10,000 posts in a day in only 9 hours - I got it for running/writing the Publisher's Club Features Guide and a Featured like magazine on that part of the forum

I pick up the borrito and stuff it down SirBrightSide's mouth - using a grenade for garnish! Suffice to say his death was fast and painful!

 

[Fury Is Me.]

*Says Silently to self with thumb in mouth.* Gear, third. *Inflates bone marrow in hand. Moves the air to ribs. Since I'm already in Gear second, I can now use GOMU GOMU NO! JET SHELL! Flies out of the wall beside all the other mallies at mach 5 and crash into claymorz and slams him into the other wall with the force of a large meteorite, his internal orggans are all destroyed and he's crushed flat.* Who's next?