Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Claymorez]

I hear something. An echo. Thou I still cannot see...I cannot see.......

 

[CloggedDonkey]

Spoiler: Hi, Everyone! Let's Pitch In 'N Get Cracking, Here in Louisiana, Doing Right, Eh? Now Then, Hateful Rich Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish-Carrot Hors d'oeurve And Never Does Dishes

And by that I mean can I join?

 

[Broken Orange]

"What part of "Open RP" don't you understand!? Of course!" i say to CloggedDonkey before I smashed a flat screen TV over his head. While he was down, I grab a jar of bees and smash it over his head.

Spoiler: welcOme to the family, Donkey!

Welcome to the thE family.

As I walk away from CD's screams, I look at Clay and Ren and quietly ask to myself, "What the hell is going on?"

 

[CloggedDonkey]

I pull out a jar of cookies and toss it at Broken Oranges big fat head. "Glad to be," I punch him in the face "part of" I kick him in the nuts "The Family!" I then run away as I have bees on my head.

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

not caring at all about bees, i kicked clogged donkey in the balls.

when hes on the ground, i kick again from behind.

 

[Claymorez]

The slight grows brighter until I am completely consumed!

 

[Claymorez]

After about 22 pages[footnote]That is a time scale now[/footnote], I get out of my hole.

I walk around, and see only two people - Ren, and some guy who calls himself 'Code Monkey'.

After stabbing Code Monkey with a fishy stick (wierdly, he doesn't respawn), I tap Ren on the shoulder.

He is on the floor, crying. Shaking a body.

My body.

"Wake up! WAKE UP, GODDAMMIT!"

"Won't he just respawn?"

"NO! You don't understand! This is the real world, crazy things like respawning don't happen!"

He turns round.

"Wait, what? You said that you couldn't respawn!"

"I'm not a respawn - I'm... from another mall. I just want to get home. Well, technically it's not really a home, but there'll probably be a home store - failing that, there's probably a house store and a DFS."

"O... Kay... but how the hell are we going to revive this Bryghtside?!"

Spoiler: Sirbrightside

Can you pleae explain what the hell is going on that this post?

 

[Broken Orange]

-snip-

Spoiler: Sirbrightside

Can you pleae explain what the hell is going on that this post?

Spoiler: yeah

please do, None of this is making any goddamn sense.

 

[Claymorez]

Snip

Snip

To be honest, I was extremely worried that this would happen.

OK. to start with, I'll have some music to soften the confusion of the explanation.

Spoiler: Here it is!

So, past the purple world post, my stuff has been probably confusing the hell out of you. Which I must admit, is kinda funny from my perspective. Basically, this was all for a little backstory, if it counts for anything. So...

At the start, I was warped back in time and sideways in space to the original mall [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.150020-Mall-Fight?page=1] at the time of creation, where I ripped a hole in space-time or something, warping all of the people into the mall. Now, this means that my whole adventure here does not affect 2.0 in any way. So you can just keep fighting here.

When I met myself, that's a reference to my debut post in the thread, where I tried to throw Francium in a fountain, but Azraellod correcting me and telling me to chuck Caesium in instead. Shocked by seeing the original me, I dug a hole to hide in.

19 pages later [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/362.150020.3648490] and claymorez has been defeated with a mall-destroying explosion. In this thread, I met (my) Sister, who rebuilt the mall originally before turning insane and killing things. When talking to her, I found out that she built the original mall. After that, I hid in a hole till the end of the original fight here [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.150020-Mall-Fight?page=41], 22 pages later, where I died in the real world, meaning I didn't come back. Killing Code Monkey was because Code posted last in the thread.

After I died, Ren tried to revive me, and (presumably) failed. So the Ren I talk about here is not the Ren that will post in this thread. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he understood what I was talking about from the start. So now me, from 2.0, is helping Ren from the original, to wake the original me up. However...

"He's dead. He's actually dead," Ren took his hand away from BryghtsideNumber1's wrist, and punched the ground.

"Ren, you can't give up now! You can still save him! Come on, let me try," I punch BryghtsideNumber1's chest.

Oh dear.

The resulting TIME PARADOX blows up the mall, and it turns to rubble around us.

"Let me fix that for you," says a ghostly voice.

Sister inexplicably appears, and starts forming a rip in space time in the air. Everything is sucked into it, apart from me, because of my armour. I watch as all of reality is warped in, and then thrown out the other end, creating another world, with a new mall, and ripping off my armour just before the tear closes.

"Now, take this. It will take you to the second mall, right where you left off," Sister says, holding out a portal gun.

"OK, thanks!"

"On one condition."

"...what?"

"You take me."

I ponder this for a moment, before relising that in my current state, I never found out she was insane.

"OK!"

Spoiler: SirBrightSide

Gotta say I'm impressed by that amount of referencing nice one....now I must retaliate with my own!

 

[CloggedDonkey]

I cry as I am being kicked, as it reminds me of high school, but then shit gets real and some kind of rip in time happens, Bryghtside steps out with a random girl and a portal gun in his hands. As I cover my head I yell "I'd hit that!" and continue to cry.

 

[Claymorez]

I still haven't re-spawned but I feel the urge to think "I'd hit that too"

 

[Dr.Susse]

Dr.susse stumbles into the mall and looks at the mall directory.
"Hmmm If I go to level 4 I can catch a lift to the 5th level which has an air con vent that goes down into the men?s department of David Jones. Which then I only have to trek about a mile and climb a small replica of Mt Everist to get to the grog shop."

 

[Claymorez]

I hear the sound of a chainsaw nearby. But still I see and feel nothing.

 

[CloggedDonkey]

As I am sliced into two pieces, I yell out "Sorry I said I'd do you sisterrrrrr...!" As I am teleported to a large white area. I see a man I only know by the name of "Claymorez" and try to talk to him. "Why aren't you just mister smiles? Get up, or I'll beat the crap out of you. well, I'll do that anyway, but I'll do it worse if you don't."

 

[Knife-28]

Due to the shear mind-boggleness of SirBryghtsides post, I (and my mech suit) blow up, destroying the joke shop.

 

[Super Toast]

I slowly dismember Knife-28 with a pair of plastic scissors.

 

[Knife-28]

Spoiler: @Toast

I slowly dismember Knife-28 with a pair of plastic scissors.

Your a bit late to the draw there

I (and my mech suit) blow up

I appear in a lager white area and see Claymorez and Donkey watching a TV. As I apporoach I see my body somehow survived the explosion. As I pull up a seat I see Toast start to dismember my body with some scissors.

 

[Claymorez]

I re-molecularise within sirbrightsides suit.....our deaths are fast and painful. I respawn in the kitchen appliance store.

 

[Claymorez]

I flip over the counter and throw a cheese grater at sirbrightside's face!

 

[Claymorez]

I slip on something and the spoon tumbles away from me between us. I rise and lung for the spoon as sirbrightside does the same.