Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Zirat]

My lunge is thrown off balance by Sir getting in between and I end up stabbing him in the right shoulder, I then run him through with the blade and shove him away saying "Thats for throwing the iPad down a hole you twat". I then go to get a look at Clogged to see how bad the damage is

 

[CloggedDonkey]

"Zirat, nooooooooooooo-wait, what do I care? I was gonna stab you anyway." I say while looking at the shish kebab that Zirat and Sir have become. "I knew you always wanted to be fall on Sir's sword. Hahaha. Anyway, I need a weapon." I look around me. They have some replica swords, rags, gasoline, beer bottles, and finally the last copy of twilight. I take the book and tie it to my sword. "Now, I have the ultimate weapon! Whahahahaha!"

 

[Zirat]

I respawn in an occult store. "what just happened? The sheer mechanics of my previous death is mind boggling' I mutter to my self as I look through the store where I respawned, "Huh, I always wanted to make a deal with an eldritch abomination and undertake monstrous mutations and power's" I grab a book in the display case, a nearby dead body as a sacrifice, and a couple of candles and begin leafing through to the rites

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in the Sport Supply store, looking around I grab a crossbow and a cricket bat off the selves and exit the store. I walk to the railing and look onto the mall's central courtyard. I see thousands of angels standing around the body of MOTHERFUCKING CTHULU.
While pondering what the angels are doing I turn around to see I am, once again, surrouded by angels. 'Deja Vu' I think as I unfold my wings and lanch myself into the air. I look down and see the angels clawing the air in anger. "That's right, weep you SOB's" I say as I fly toward another part of the mall.

 

[Claymorez]

I re-spawn in the Kitchen and scream "I AM BACK"!

 

[Ren3004]

I run towards the sound of Claymorez's voice, only to run against a brick wall and die from head trauma.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

returning again while still in my deadly assassin outfit I expertly toss 2 throwing knives at Claymorez before unloading a shotgun round into his stomach

 

[Knife-28]

Below I see ODST shooting Claymorez. I swoop down, pick him up and flying through one of the mall's skylights. As he looks at me in wonder and horror, I drop him, sending him crashing throught one of the (unbroken) skylights.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

horrified as I drop to my apparent death I notice Clogged standing thier like an idiot with a book tied to a sword. I aim myself carefully and land on him with a Thump before picking myself up and limp over to the trauma center store to get patched up. But before I enter, I use the only match still on me to light a stick of dynamite which I chuck over my shoulder at the body of clogged and his booksword

 

[Knife-28]

Looking back down into the mall I notice ODST emerging from the Trama Center Store and blow up Clogged and his Booksword. I swoop down and pick him up again before throwing him into a group of Weeping Angels. Satisfied that he will be killed, I fly towards the Red Faction store and grab a nano rifle. I fly above the mall and start picking off Angels.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

"argh, curse that annoying bastard" I shout after I respawn in the RDR store. I grab a Carano Rifle sneak out and start looking for targets when I spy weeping angels getting disintegrated. I expertly follow the path of the rounds and notice what appears to be an insect high above the mall. Upon looking throug the scope of my rifle I see that its Knife. I nail a group of Angels with a Fire Bottle as I shout "down here ya sonofabitch" before I take aim and blow his head off

 

[Zirat]

After doing the rites a dark hole opens up beneath me and drags me into another dimension "You have got to be..." I start to say but I get cut off, 10 minutes later it opens back up and launches me out at high speed "... and that goes double FOR YOUR MOTHER!" I scream after I land "Well that didnt pan out" I mutter to myself as I brush myself down in front of a glassware store "I didnt even get some sort of power for my..." I say getting a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror and notice the 4, long sharp pointed tentacles growing out of my back "Huh" Thats stange I say testing them out "Sweet"

 

[Shemming]

I charge at zirat shouting leeeerroooyyy jjjeeennnkkkiiinnnssss before stabing him to death with a sharpend stick.

 

[Zirat]

"Bloody hell!" I shout as I turn on Shemming and on reflex after being stabbed I run him through with one of my tentacles.

I then respawn back in the gardening store "Good god, things have gone cyclical" I say picking myself up "But wait.." I say after dusting looking around I notice I still have my Combat Tentacles "Sweet! Deals with evil gods carry over!" I say a I make my way out of the store and go by the fountain on the main floor

 

[DarkHourPrince]

I come up behind Zirat with a giant chainsaw from the hardware store connected on the mall and slice all the combat tentacles off before tripping over the edge of the fountain and impaling myself on said chainsaw. I respawn in the chandelier hanging above the main floor and wonder "how in the hell do I get down now?"

 

[AgDr_ODST]

after taking out Knife, I realize how close I came to missing him. "Time for some target practice." I shout after grabbing a bolt action rifle from the RDR store. "now what to shoot?" I wonder while wandering about "Oh a TV(the very same one that sirbrightside is in), that'll work." I say as I line it up in my sights. The world is enveloped in a familiar orange hue as I place all my markers on the Plasma. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM my gun sounds as I fire off shot after sho in rapid succession. when the world returns to normal I saunter past my target not noticing some blood seeping out.

 

[(Insert name hear)]

Pops up behind AgDr and screams "IT'S CAKE TIME!" and throws a cake in his face.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

yummmmmmmmm chocolate. I shall reward you *hands (Insert name hear) an unlit stick of dynamite* but be warned use it against me and you will suffer

 

[(Insert name hear)]

You mean like this? "uses Dynamite in fount of us".

 

[AgDr_ODST]

*pulls portal gun out of thin air and uses it to escape and shuts the portals while (insert name hear) kills himself*