Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Fury Is Me.]

The syringe tip enters Ren's body and the fluid inside is injected as I hit the ground, my manggled body frozen with that fearful smile. Then I respawn in the food court as a man again.
"Shit, why did I become a girl? Stupid glitchs in life."

 

[Ren3004]

I stand up and notice that I am hallucinating with a burning tiger.


"Oh, hi, new hallucination. Welcome to my head. Time to meet the gang: Creepy Asian Girl, Alan Rickman, Elvis, a rainbow, Harry Potter and the purple unicorn [footnote]You know this is an hallucination, because there are no purple unicorns. Everyone knosw they are golden as children, then turn silver when they grow up[/footnote]. Have fun!"

 

[Knife-28]

"Oh no you don't!"
A second before I fire Ren spawns and lands on top of Fury, unfortunately I fire and hit Ren in the arm. Before I can reload though my vision goes blury and I see stars.
*Oh that's right* I think as I slump to my knees *I was bleeding* The last thing I see before dying of blood loss is ODST looking dazed and confused.

 

[Fallen-Angel Risen-Demon]

the ultimate english move...

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in pitch darkness. As I grope around my I find what feels like a pair of sunglasses. I slip them on and find that I can see perfectly. Looking around I see a Circle of light in the distance. After I start walking towards it I feel a slight vibration in the floor. I turn around and my eyes widen in horror.
I turn and race down the corridor, screaming like a banshee. I brust out a hole onto the ground floor of the mall and run past Sir and run headfirst into a pole, knocking myself out.

The ground of the mall shakes and a dumbstruck Sir is helpless to watch as the Alien Queen emerges out of the hole in a state of fury. Smaller versions of itself swarm out of the ground at its feet and one sees Sir and leeps through the air towards him.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

before my eyes I see clogged get stabbed by Fury and told he's gonna go nuts and kill himself, Ren reappear out of nowhere and land on fury only to be hit be Knife who then falls to the ground at radom while I can only watch. "allright wack job" I say adressing Fury me and you. I start to pull my bolt action from the sling my back but instead switch to my bowie knife which I spin in my hands "lets settle this mano E mano"

 

[Knife-28]

The Alien Queen turns it's head, it's cybineticly enhanced sense of smell seeking out food. It turns it's head towards the casino and lets out and earspliting roar before charging towards it.

 

[AvsJoe]

I enter the mall hoping to buy some groceries. I immediately trip over a dead body and land face-first onto a discarded blade. It takes me almost a minute to bleed to death. I hate this stupid mall.

 

[Claymorez]

I laugh, jump off the balcony and use a giant cigarette to decapitate sirbrightside.
Then Strike a dramatic pose and point as thou to an invisible audience.

"Smoking kills"

The cigarette then falls over and crushes me.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

As I stare down the now immobile Fury, I hear the sort of shriek that only comes from the stuff of nightmares as a monsterous Alien Queen charges into the casino. "dammit I didn't sign up for this shit" I shout as I roll out of the way of the queen before reaching for my semi-auto shotgun that seems to have magically appeared on my back. I start to tear into its hide with my shots only to be completely ignored as it focuses solely on Sir, who promtly kills it. In a rage at my first fight since returning being taken from me I brutally disembowl Sir with my bowie knife before planting one of my throwing knives directly between his eyes

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in the Sharp & Pionty things shop with my usual loadout (wings and a crossbow).
Looking around the store a pair of Tanto catch my eye and I pluck them off the shelf.

I grab two scabbards and clip them onto my belt, sliping my Tanto into them in one fluid motion. I walk out of the store and see Sir attacking the Queen and the Queen repeling the attack with some form of energy shield.

 

[Knife-28]

A great silence falls upon The Mall as I take my Tanto out of their scabbards. Out of the silence this song plays.

"Let's do this"

I rush at Sir and the sound of clashing steel is heard throught The Mall.

 

[Knife-28]

"Sir,I Didn't actually create The Queen".
"You see, when the genders of all the people in The Mall reversed the last of the Aliens Dis- I mean Fury,released was turned into The Queen, while all my predaliens where not".

Before I can finish the rest of my monologe a broaken roar shakes The Mall.
"Looks like that's *puts on sunglasses* one tough fish to fr-Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhh!!
The Queen hits me and Sir with it's tail and sends us flying into the Sharp & Pointy things store. Where we are impailed on several swords.

 

[Claymorez]

I re-spawn in the Shark & Pointy things store. I grab a pointy wooden stick and start prodding knife-28 to check if he is alive.

 

[Knife-28]

Nothing to see here. <..>

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in what looks like a study. Looking around I see a small, leather bound book sitting on a desk. Pulling up a chair, I pick up the book and start flicking through it.
The temperature in the room drops dramaticly and I suddenly feel a pair of hands on my shoulders.
"Greetings, young man...",

Spoiler: Spoiler

Hurray for old plot lines!

 

[Claymorez]

I shout "I don't like scary movies" before using my stick to skewer kinfe-28, who had woken up when I poked him.

The way he was swaying as he had awoken, suggested he had been at the drugged icecream again

 

[Knife-28]

I wake up screaming and see Claymorez skewering my twin, Kinfe. I then take the sword Sir was impailed on and loop his head off. Before I can free myself howver, I faint from blood loss.

"That was awfully rude of you, you know"
"You made me jump out of my skin, what else was I supposed to do?!"
"Well, let's not dwell on past grevences"
*Sigh* "Fine, I guess"
"Excellent, now down to business"
"Wait, before we do anything, what's your name?"
"Oh, my name is not important, just call me, M"

Spoiler: @Claymorez

Well you did type 'Kinfe'

 

[Stone Wera]

I walk in the mall to hawk loogies off the rails and fish for coins in the wishing fountain. But when I find a full on brawl taking place. I grab a sword from the Bed Bath & Beyond and take a stab at the twins standing a few feet away. I swing blindly eventually cutting off Kinfe-28's nose.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in Zen Gardens and promptly get my nose chopped off by Wera.
"Hey,I was using that!"
Dodging another strike,I pick up a rock from on to the displayes and throw it at him. Causing his head to fly off in 3 different directions.
"It look's like he *Puts on sunglasses* just got stoned".
The gazebo I'm standing in then collapses, killing me.

Spoiler: Yay! Fresh meat!