Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Stone Wera]

Spoiler: ...

YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!

I respawn 50 feet above the fountain. As I'm falling I shout,
"That stuff expired two years ago, man!"
I grab the parachute that spawned next to me and pull the string, only to find that it was packed with several pots and pans... But no chute.
"Oh har-dee-har."
Luckily I land on top of the fountain, and avoid getting wet. I get off grab a few coins and head to the coin operated robot in the antique store. I load it with quarters and watch it run straight through a wall.
"Well that went about as well as I expected."

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in the antique store and beat Wera to death with....A HERRING!

 

[Stone Wera]

I respawn under the mall and dig my way upwards, coming up right under Knife-28. Once I realize he's there I grab an antique vase and smash it over his head. The shards are lodged inside his skull and I beat them even further into his head with a hammer.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in the air vents. After crawling around for a while I find Wera. Before I can drop down and stelthily kill him though, the air vent falls and crushed him.

 

[Stone Wera]

I respawn 10 miles outside the mall. After a long taxi ride I burst through the door with a nunchuck cannon. I kick down every door in the mall until I find Knife-28.
"SAY HELLO TO MY NOT SO LITTLE FRIEND!"
Nunchucks pelted his body, breaking every one of his bones.

 

[Claymorez]

I swing a nearby dictionary at stone wera, suffice to say its not pretty what is left of his left foot when I slipped and missed.

 

[Stone Wera]

I hear a thud and look behind me to see Claymorez lying on the ground.
"What's that smell?"

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in the electronics store, amongst the remains of a fort made out of computer casings and RAM memory. I set about rebuilding it, along with an adavance security system.

 

[Stone Wera]

I see a man being led by a ghost and quickly decide this is no place for plots. I pick up a nearby rapier and jump in front of their path, shouting "Have at you!" and begin swinging blindly, chopping off the ghost's nose... Why does that keep happening?

 

[Knife-28]

"Have at you!"

Through the Malls security cameras I see Wera swinging a sword at empty air and Sir standing nearby with a dazed look on his face and a human head craddled in his arms. I shrug and, with an odd feeling in my gut, lock on with my CD cannons. My finger stops over the fire button and, for a heartbeat, in the corner of my eye, I see somthing on the screen. I shrug it off as a trick in light and press the button, firing two,three round bursts, one at Wera and one at Sir.

The first CD takes off Wera's right leg, the second and third cut off his arms.
Sir snaps out of his trance, causing the fourth CD to graze his head. The fifth also misses, flying off deeper into the Mall. The sixth however, hit's it's mark, slicing the head in Sir's hand neatly in two, also cuting of Sir's fingers.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!

"Oh, that can't be good".

 

[Knife-28]

Spoiler: @Sir

"Wod da-" says M, his voice muffled by his lack of a nose. "You shuddunt ave done dat..."

Chell's split head starts sprouting dark purple tentacles. I try to drop it, but can't- the tentacles have latched onto my hand, and engulf me totally.

"Um... Bryghtside?" says Knife, backing away

I was still inside my computer casing and RAM memory fort,so...yeh but never the less, I'm game.

I watch in horror as the purple tentacles engulf Sir. Before I can turn off the camera feed, I feel a moment of vertigo and I'm suddenly standing near Sir, watching him be consumed by...something. "Um... Bryghtside?" I say, backing away slowly.
A tentacle shoots towards me and I close my eyes, I hear screaming and see Wera being dragged towards the withering mass of tentacles that was once Sir.

"This is only the beginning". I turn and see M standing there with a smirk on his face.
Angered, I lunge at him but he disapates before I reach him, causing me to go head first over the second floor railing and fall head first into the fountian. As I sink deeper, a monstrous eye opens below me. As I try to swim to the surface, a tentacle wraps around my leg and drags me into the deep.

As I am dragged into the depths of the fountain, the thing that was once Sir continues to grow and mutate, until it resembles this.

 

[Alusin86]

"OK, I'm in." I said entering the mall though the movie theater. "Now all I have to find a way to an arcade." I said looking for and entering air vent. While crawling though the vents, I fall out into the food court.

"Just great."

 

[Claymorez]

[HEADING=1]?[/HEADING]
A monstrous voice erupts from withing the tentacled mass.

"MY NAME IS SIRDARKSIDE. MY BACKSTORY IS NOT IMPORTANT, FOR NOW. ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THIS. I HAVE GIVEN YOU ALL RESPAWN WATCHES."

Suddenly, watches materialise on everyone's wrists. They are all marked the same - with the number '5'.

"YOU EACH HAVE 5 LIVES LEFT. LOSE THEM ALL, AND THERE WILL BE NO RESPAWN AT THE OTHER END. OBSERVE," I say, using one of my tentacles to tear Wera apart. He respawns in front of me, and the number on his watch changes to a '4'.

"NOW, I'LL GIVE YOU A HEAD START. I AM A SPORTING PERSON, AFTER ALL."

The assembled fighters scatter, apart from knife, who is still trapped in the pool. I cradle him in my tentacles.

"I HAVE A SPECIAL PLAN FOR YOU," I say, and I hand him to M. "TAKE CARE OF HIM, M. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO." M nods, and walks away, an unconscious knife in his arms.

Spoiler

Lmao - but ok I'll go along with this...for now........

I throw the rule book at '?'

 

[Knife-28]

My body starts to convolse and I start to foam at the mouth. My eyes shoot open and four jet black tendrils burst from my back.
"You were right M, it was only the beginning"
I leap to the fountain and dive in, fleeing to the safty of the sewers.

Spoiler: Do not disturb me

I am ploting

 

[Stone Wera]

I rip off the watch and throw it in the fountain, some might cosider this cheating, but I'm just getting ahead. I take a watch from the electronics store and place it on my wrist.
"No one will ever know.."
I grab metal bat and have at Ckaymorez, I smash his head in and poke him a few times to make sure he isn't faking.

 

[Knife-28]

*Chukle*, "Your a sharp one" M's disimbowled voice says as the watch on Wera's wrist starts to glow red hot and melt, "But your breaking the rules and thats a big no no".
A new respawn watch appears on Wera's wrist."I'll let you off with a warning this time but try it again and you'll won't be as fortunate".

 

[Alusin86]

"What the hell?" I said looking at the watch, while trying to get back into the vent. "I just got here, and I only have five lives left? I knew this place was insane, but not a death trap." I get back in the vent and continue heading towards the arcade. "Luckily, I have just the plan for you."

 

[Knife-28]

Deep in the sewers, I sit on a concrete ledge tugging at the respawn watch.All of a sudden I feel colder.
"You know you won't get it off, right"
*Sigh* "I suppose your here to knock me unconscious and and do whatever that thing that was once Sir has planned for me?"
"Well yes but really, where would be the fun in that."
I shoot M an odd look. "So why are you here then?"
"I came to tell you somthing, plain and simple" M wispers somthing in my ear and the space I'm in suddenly feels warmer. "Oh come on" I yell to the brick work, "What the hell is that supposed to mean!" Whan I get no response I sit down, musing over what I've been told.

Spoiler: OOC

The plot (What little there is) thickens.

 

[Stone Wera]

"Hehe." I got a full five lives this time. I go to the arcade to try to lay low, I turn the machines into and impenetrable fortress of rail-shooter... Ness.

 

[Alusin86]

Sneaking out of the vents, I notice Stone Wera, guarding himself in the arcade. Luckily he didn't notice me. So I pick up a conveniently placed Cinder block, sneak up towards Stone Wera, And bash his head until I can easily remove his spine. After that unnecessary head smashing, I breathed heavily, slightly scared shitless on what I did. "OK, just calm down man, just take one of the machines and head back to the back room." I did just that, taking one of the house of the dead machines.