I get smacked in the face with a brick, I spit out a tooth and pick it back up, placing it in my pocket. I smack Bricky McHuckington over the head, knocking him out. I toss him into the fountain and hide in a giraffe topiary to await my next victim.
Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
- Thread starter Claymorez
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I walked out of the power tools department when I saw a figure resembling a giraffe. My mind was filled with memories of a giraffe which trampled my father. From that day, I swore to find that giraffe and destroy it. I charge toward the giraffe holding a chainsaw, and CUT THE FUCKER TO PIECARGHHGDHBLAASHEJGVHIOHJJYFGH
I awoke with a bad hangover wondering what the hell I did. I look down and see a bloody chainsaw. I turn to find a pile of leaves, blood and organs. Then, I quietly sidestep away from the scene.
I awoke with a bad hangover wondering what the hell I did. I look down and see a bloody chainsaw. I turn to find a pile of leaves, blood and organs. Then, I quietly sidestep away from the scene.
I respawn and are enveloped in blackness. After stumbling around for a bit, a neon-green sigh flickers on.
DO NOT BE ALARMED
The sign flickers off after a few seconds and I stumble around for a little while more.
Suddenly another sign flickers on.
YOU HAVE BEEN DIVERTED
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" I yell into the blackness. As you would expect, I get no answer.
DO NOT BE ALARMED
The sign flickers off after a few seconds and I stumble around for a little while more.
Suddenly another sign flickers on.
YOU HAVE BEEN DIVERTED
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" I yell into the blackness. As you would expect, I get no answer.
"Let me get this straight. Your tired of the constant killing so you have decided to kill everybody else so you no longer have to fight?"
"Yeah
"Makes sense to me. Bring on the slaughter!"
The demon rushes out of the sewer, Xandus behind him, and grabs Fuse as he attempts to run away from...a chainsaw? The demon then grabs said chainsaw, rams Fuse in the stomach with it, and rip him to pieces GoW style. The demon then pulls out a blue whistle, blows on it and a blue, 9 headed hydra appears, eating the remains and going out into the mall to assist it and Xandus
"Yeah
"Makes sense to me. Bring on the slaughter!"
The demon rushes out of the sewer, Xandus behind him, and grabs Fuse as he attempts to run away from...a chainsaw? The demon then grabs said chainsaw, rams Fuse in the stomach with it, and rip him to pieces GoW style. The demon then pulls out a blue whistle, blows on it and a blue, 9 headed hydra appears, eating the remains and going out into the mall to assist it and Xandus
I respawn in the undeground zoo section of the mall and stuff my suit filled with as many bats as I can catch. I then resuface to find a Hydra attacking the mall. I release my swarm of bats upon it, which give rabies. I then spot the blue man who killed Gary.
"FOR GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARY!"
I clobber him over the head with a nearby potted plant, I then release the remaining bats down his throat and super glue his mouth shut. I watch as he frantically runs around before colliding headfirst into a totem pole. The bats consume his insides and return to me, taking residence in my sleeves.
"FOR GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARY!"
I clobber him over the head with a nearby potted plant, I then release the remaining bats down his throat and super glue his mouth shut. I watch as he frantically runs around before colliding headfirst into a totem pole. The bats consume his insides and return to me, taking residence in my sleeves.
SSSSKKKKRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"Ah, my loyal winged beast, how have you been?"
SSSSSKKKKRRRREEEEEEEE
"Ah that's right, you can't talk."
I leap onto the winged beast's back and it lets out another,SKREE before it takes of and starts circleing around the mall.
"Ah, my loyal winged beast, how have you been?"
SSSSSKKKKRRRREEEEEEEE
"Ah that's right, you can't talk."
I leap onto the winged beast's back and it lets out another,SKREE before it takes of and starts circleing around the mall.
Spawns in a Borders sipping tea, "This place is so wei-" A SKREE sound is heard, "What the hell?!" I rush out.
I see WafflesandBacon run out of a store, a cup of tea on a tiny plate in his hand. "Oh, hello, Waffles, what are you doing around these parts? I thought you where one for the off-topic and video-games section? Whatever, you're still a target." I toss Stone Weras' arm at WafflesandBacon.
I catch Stone's arm, "Oh no, CD, I just stay around a couple of threads that sunk and some RPs. And I decided to come here." I noms Stone's arm.
"Weeeee~!" I yell happily as I swim in the balls. The endless colorful balls of varying sizes. I case you don't understand I'm trying to make a sexual innuendo.
I fallow WafflesandBacons' example and swim in the balls as well, only I'm not making an innuendo. Ball pits are just fun as hell.
I mangae to crawl away while W&B was nomming my arm. I hide inside a car and turn on the radio... Talk show... Talk show... Little River Band?... And another talk show.
"Just my luck..."
I exit the car and go to the cyborg's and robot section of the mall to pick out a new arm. Preferably one with a LASER CANNON!!1!
"Just my luck..."
I exit the car and go to the cyborg's and robot section of the mall to pick out a new arm. Preferably one with a LASER CANNON!!1!
"THE TABLE DESTROYER!!!" I tackle Tox and take the sword, "I was looking every for my old baby!"
I exit the robot section of the mall with a kick ass swiss army robo arm.
It's wierd... We're all just parts, how far could I go? How far until I become a robot? My heart? My brain!? AM I MAN OR MACHINE!?
I then go to crack walnuts with my new arm.
It's wierd... We're all just parts, how far could I go? How far until I become a robot? My heart? My brain!? AM I MAN OR MACHINE!?
I then go to crack walnuts with my new arm.
I turn my head quickly, "Weird...I felt a disturbance in the nut universe....It's like nuts were were destroyed mercilessly...."