Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Stone Wera]

"You're too late!"
I scream as I'm crushed. I respawn near the fountain.
"I need a few gods of my own."
I sit down on a bench and assume the thinking position.
"I've got it!"
A few minutes later a large shadow looms over Xandus. I stand on Cthulhu's shoulder, the look of revenge in my eyes.
"Cthulhu fhtagn, *****."
Cthulhu bites Xandus's torso off, chewing thoroughly. It wraps the rest of him in tinfoil and places him in the fridge.
[whine]"Old Castro said I'd be eaten first."[/whine]

 

[Stone Wera]

Spoiler: This here's a doozy!

I land in the fountain.
"That Xandus, what's his beef? Trying to destroy the mall, let us have our fun why don'tcha?"
I'm distracted by my thinly veiled message, that I don't notice the darking waters and babbling bubbles breaking the surface of the water. I do, however, notice the alliteration I just made. I then try to make another.
"Tito's tacos taste too terrible."
Tee hee, how whimsical! I am then pulled down into the water and into the sewers.
"Hark! Another plot rears it's head?"
The man/creature before me hisses it's name.
"Zrofgvuk..."
With an exceptionally evil looking beard, large horns, pale skin, and receding hair line, it's hard to distinguish man from monster.
"And welcome to my evil lair!"
"The sewers? I've been coming here for a while now, it sorta belongs to everyone."
"Well it's mine now, I've a deed and everything!"
He shoves a peice of paper in my face. A post-it note, with the words Zrofgvuk's sewers scrawled on in red crayon.
"If you say so."
"I do say so."
"So why are you here?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"No."
"Why to make the perfect plot!"
"What a coincidence? I've been looking for a plot, too!"
"As have I, but I found none suited to my evil tastes. So I decided to make one!"
"This does not bode well."
"Shut it, I've already started it."
"This bodes worse."
He pulls a remote from his pocket and presses a button, a hidden wall behind him turns to reaveal a moster strapped to the wall.
"Behold, HITLERSTALIN!"
Lightning cracks and HitlerStalin becomes visible, if only for a second.
"Not very impressive."
"What? I worked on this all night."
"You just sowed two halves of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin together. It's more stupid than evil."
"Oh? Well the power used to keep HitlerStalin's heart beating is generated by the falling tears of impovershed orphans!"
"That's a start."
"And it's designed to eat kittens and poop money for Bill Gates!"
"Now that's what I call evil!"
But wait! In Stone Wera's heart! Concience strikes!
"You can't let him do this!"
I could, she just doesn't want me to. But regardless I grab the remote from Zrofgvuk and smash it on the floor.
"You fool! That was the only way to keep HitlerStalin under control! Without the remote I have no power over him!"
"So?"
"His demo mode is set to genocide!"
"Crap."
HitlerStalin breaks free of his bonds and swims out of the fountain, poppong a child's balloon and then swallowing her whole.
"KILL!KILL!666!KILL!"
Down in the sewers.
"I think I may have made a slight error in judgement."
"The worst thing is that HitlerStalin's technically a player."
"What!?"
"Yes. I'm afriad the only way to stop him would be to activate the respawn watches and attepmt to bring him down."
"But he's so powerful! He'll kill everyone."
"It's the only way to stop him."
"If it's all we can do... Then do it."
The watches reactivate, engaging the life system once more.

 

[Knife-28]

Spoiler: Looks like this plot....

*Puts on sunglasses*...Just got kicked up a notch.

"KILL!KILL!666!KILL!"
I turn see HitlerStalin walking away from the fountion. So, doing the smart thing, I take off, gain some hight and dive bomb him. Unfortulently he moves at the last second and I crash into the ground. As I bleed out, a respawn watch appears on my wrist.
"Awwww, that's just not fair." And then I die.

 

[Stone Wera]

I exit the fountain, seeing the Knife-28 bleeding out on the ground.
"You'll pay for that."
I charge at him, only to be puched in the gut. I double over, puking up rainbows before passing out, the rainbows splatter on HitlerStalin, who begins screaming bloody murder.
"Gwaah! The happiness, it burns!"
He jumps in the fountain, scrubbing himself with steel wool.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn in the 'Cute & Fluffy Animal Store' and grab a handfull of kittens. I walk out of the store (Which is located conveniently next to the fountain) and start hurling them at HitlerStalin, who starts screaming in agony.

 

[Ren3004]

I come out of the furniture store after a relaxing nap holding a bed in my arms and ready to kill.

 

[Samsont]

I jump in through a window and run to the kitchenware store. I exit with a bandolier filled with knives, and two butcher knives in hand.

 

[Samsont]

I see the guy with the bed and lick my butcher knives vamp style. " It'sssss time to kill."
I run at him with my knives and cut his bed in half. " NOW YOU CANNOT SLEEP! MWHAHAHAHA!"

 

[Ren3004]

I hit Samsont with half a bed until a green tentacle grabs my ankle.

 

[Knife-28]

I keep throwing cute and fluffy animals at HitlerStalin until he dissolves into a puddle of goo. I then notice that someone has unleashed Cthulhu!!
"Aww, screw this."

 

[Terminate421]

I grab a lancer assult rifle and duck behind the nearest chest high wall blinly firing 50 rounds of ammunition until I hear that *CLICK* sound. I then perfectly active reload.

 

[Stone Wera]

I wake up, noticing that Knife has destroyed HitlerStalin's first life, I congratulate him.
"Great jo--"
I'm interrupted by a sword driven through my chest. Zrofgvuk stands behind me, blood on his hands.
"Ha! I've fooled you all! HitlerStalin was never a player! But now that the respawn watches are active, I can finally KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN!"
He throws a knife at Knife-28, how ironic.

 

[Terminate421]

I unload another 50 good perfectly active reloaded rounds into cthulu who begins bleeding out. I reload and shout "SHIT YEAH!" exactly like carmine would.