Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Knife-28]

"Woah, wait, turn around!"
"Why?" Zrofgvuk says, confused.
"I forgot something!" I say, making a grab for the steering wheel. "Now turn this thing around!"
I grab steering wheel and turn it, hard, causing it to break away in my hands. Sparks can be seen through the portholes as the Land-Sub scrapes against the sides of the tunnels. The over head lights shatter and there is an enormous groaning sound as the Land-Sub comes to a stop.
"Well now I've done it..."

[HEADING=2]Back in the Jackhammer Emporium.[/HEADING]
"God damn that was rude." Saber says as she walks over to the line of Land-subs and, picking one out, starts the ingnition sequence.
"Oh well" She says to no one in particular as she activates the sub and sets off down the tunnel."I can always punch Wera when I see him."

 

[Stone Wera]

I exit the land sub, taking Hrfyulgh with me. I keep a watchful eye out for any lurking CHUDs.
"Can anyone fix the sub?"
"I can, I took shop in highschool."

 

[Knife-28]

"Hey Knifey!" Zrofgvuk calls, waving me over to where his trying fix the engine.
"Could you not call me that."
"Yea, yea, whatever." He says, rumiging around in a tool box. "Ah, here we go." he says, turning around. "Pick a tool, Pipe wrench or crowbar."
"What do you mean 'pick a tool'?
"I mean, pick a tool."
"Ok, Pipe wrench."
"You Sure?"
"I am if I can go."
"Yea, okay."
I turn to leave and feel somthing hard collide with the back of my head.
"That's for making us crash, you moron" Zrofgvuk says as he wipes the blood off the wrench and going back to work.

 

[Knife-28]

Through a bizarre twist of fate, Tox's Shoop-da-Woop is much more powerful and it passes throught the Zergs, the wall, Saber's Land-Sub, kilometers of rock, Sir's face, the outer wall of The Mall and shoots off into space. Where, it crosses the path of the planet Molxa, inhabited by a race of Cheeseburger Spiders. Unfortunately for the Spiders, the laser causes their planet to explode.

 

[spartan1077]

I come in with copies of Duke Nukem Forever as ZP explained it and everyone bows down before me, before I nuke them with gravy shooting cats.

 

[Knife-28]

A piece of the planet Molxa floats through space, coming ever closer. It enters the atmosphere above The Mall. It gains speed and comes crashing down on Spartains head, hopefully teaching him that post where you kill everyone are GOING TO MAKE EVERYONE WANT TO KILL YOU, often in violent and gory ways.

 

[Stone Wera]

I listen closely as the moist and heavy footsteps of what is unmistakeably underground man eating mutant creatures. I grab a kerosene lamp from the trunk and turn it on, to reveal that I'm surrounded by THE IMPS*. I shove the lamp in front of me, THE IMPS take a step backwards, some tripping over other THE IMPS.
"Aha, they fear the light!"
"NO, WE JUST DON'T LIKE THINGS BEING SHOVED IN OUR FACES."
"You speak English?"
"QUITE FLUENTLY, IN FACT."

[HEADING=2]MEANWHILE, IN BASEMENT 9001...[/HEADING]

"Your powers are impressive, you shall be a worthy opponent."
A Samus Aran rolls toward martintox, jumping out of her sphere and blasting him with her cannon at point blank range. She's more than a little suprised when martintox comes out unharmed.
"A worthy opponent indeed."

*Of Zero Punctuation

 

[Knife-28]

I eventually come to and see Wera talking to the some imps. *Meh, I've got nothing better to do* I think as I pick myself up and walk over to him. "Hey Wera, who are these guys?" I say, gestering to the imps.

[HEADING=2]Meanwhile, in Saber's Land-Sub[/HEADING]​

"Jeez, what was that?" Saber says as the Land-Sub comes to a grinding halt. Leaving the drivers seat she frowns as she inspects the damage. "There is no way I have any hope of fixing that." She goes to the cargo hold and grabs a mining helmet. She steps out of the ruined Land-Sub and, unfurling her wings, takes off down the tunnel.

 

[Knife-28]

Suddenly Star Wolf appeared next to Tox. "I can't let you do that, Tox." He say before throwing Tox into the wall.

 

[Stone Wera]

A trail of goombas slowly waddle towards martintox, a distraction while Luigi throws a koopa shell at him from behind.

 

[Stone Wera]

"Where'd the grenades come from? No matter."
Duke Nukem burst from a nearby wall, a swooning babe in one arm, an enourmous rocket launcher in the other.
"Hail to the king, baby."
A truly epic battle is sure to follow, one that will go down in history.

 

[Stone Wera]

Duke throws the swooning lady in front of the rockets, intercepting the fire. In response, Duke fired a rocket at martintox's feet, lauching him in the air. The Lolcat talisman flew from his coat, landing in the sewage and sinking into the unknown depths where it was found by a family of octopuses who pawned it for a cool 100 bucks. Duke put his boot on martintox's throat.
"Always bet on Duke."

 

[Treeinthewoods]

-Ignore, didn't follow entire topic.-

 

[Knife-28]

Spoiler: OOC@ Treeinthewoods,Edit

That's ok, just get up to speed and you can go from there.

 

[Stone Wera]

Duke draws his rocket launcher and shoots the BFG9000 out of martintox's arms.
[HEADING=3]"HEADING 3 IS FUNNER!"[/HEADING]
He sticks the landing on a ? block and opens fire on martintox.

 

[Stone Wera]

"Now it's perso--"
He's cut off by a dagger being shoved into his back, more specifically, Hrfyulgh.
"Martintox, are you alright?"
I drain Duke's power and walk over to martintox.
"We were trying to fix the land sub and I heard an explosion further down the tunnel and decided to investigate... Anyways, want to help us kill the mall?"

 

[Stone Wera]

"We're digging to the yolk of the mall... Also, where'd you get meme powers? And you might want to keep them a secret, this blade drains power and our truce with Zrofgvuk is only temporary."
I stab myself with the blade and pump the power into me. Luckily, Duke is in a relatively grey zone when it comes to morality, so I remain the same except for my power.
"Hey martintox, what does a player say about his power level?"

 

[Stone Wera]

"I drained his power and added it to my own. Anyways, Zrofgvuk is waiting for me. We'd better go."
I grab martintox by the hand and lead him to the land sub.
"Fire it up, Zrofgvuk."
He put the key in the ignition and turned on the land sub. We all get in and dig deeper into the mall.

 

[Stone Wera]

We fall through the Earth, the ground had given way and we'd landed in an exact replica of the surface mall... Besides the bodies stuck on swords and the fountain spurting blood, and the charred and blacked landscape. The windows were broken and the doors boarded up.
"Still want to stop Gryfulthyuth, Zorfgvuk?"
"Yes."
We get out of sub, I go into a store marked Kittens N Knives. Just the the one topside... Except the knives are stuck through the kittens.

 

[Knife-28]

I step out of the Land-Sub and look around."Charming..." I say as I look around. As I into the distance I see the walls start to curve inwards. "Interesting,"I say, walking over to Wera and Tox, "It appears that we are inside a Micro Dyson Sphere."