Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
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The elevator stops at floor 666 and the doors open to an auditorium filled with green statues. "Something doesn't feel right.." I say as I step out of the elevator. As if responding to my voice the statues heads all turn as one to face me. "CREEPERS!" I yell as I dive back into the elevator and ascend to the ground floor. As the elevator travels up I realise I've left Tox back with the Creepers.
"Aww crap."
"Aww crap."
I go looking for martintox and Knife-28. I don't find the pther players, but instead numerous skeltons strewn around a hill of skulls. On the hill is a large skeleton clad in armour, knelt down holding a sword stuck in his ribcage.
"This must be Kfvahgth from the first Gryfulthyuth."
I notice the blade stuck in his ribs shimming, even in complete darkness, polished and sharpened to perfection, even after millions of years it retains it's luster.
"Dibs."
"This must be Kfvahgth from the first Gryfulthyuth."
I notice the blade stuck in his ribs shimming, even in complete darkness, polished and sharpened to perfection, even after millions of years it retains it's luster.
"Dibs."
The hilt of the claymore is jammed into my stomach, bruising me something bad.
"Ow, watch where you're falling... And also, how'd you fall through hundreds of feet of concrete? And who are you?"
I yank the sword from the skeleton, to avoid any more accidents.
"No matter, do you want to help me advance the plot?"
"Ow, watch where you're falling... And also, how'd you fall through hundreds of feet of concrete? And who are you?"
I yank the sword from the skeleton, to avoid any more accidents.
"No matter, do you want to help me advance the plot?"
Zrofgvuk's iPhone rings, a call from his master.
"Hello?"
"I've heard rumors you're helping Stone Wera kill the mall, is this true?"
"What? Never, of course not, no, maybe, a little, yes."
"I'm very disappointed in you, Zrofgvuk, I gave you life and now this? I--"
"Worry not, I aim to drain the power of the mall with Hrfyulgh and trnasfer it to you when we next meet, also, there's talisman level power in the mall."
"Perhaps you are not as stupid as you look... Very well, continue with your mission, until then, farewell."
Zrofgvuk hangs up and leans back.
"Oi, my freakin' life."
He slips into the fountain and hits his head on something hard.
"Ouch!"
he picks it up and wipes some of the blood off of it.
"The Chad Warrden Talisman! An even better scheme I hatch..."
He hid it deep in his pocket of Hammer Space and wrung out his robe.
"Muahahaha..."
"Hello?"
"I've heard rumors you're helping Stone Wera kill the mall, is this true?"
"What? Never, of course not, no, maybe, a little, yes."
"I'm very disappointed in you, Zrofgvuk, I gave you life and now this? I--"
"Worry not, I aim to drain the power of the mall with Hrfyulgh and trnasfer it to you when we next meet, also, there's talisman level power in the mall."
"Perhaps you are not as stupid as you look... Very well, continue with your mission, until then, farewell."
Zrofgvuk hangs up and leans back.
"Oi, my freakin' life."
He slips into the fountain and hits his head on something hard.
"Ouch!"
he picks it up and wipes some of the blood off of it.
"The Chad Warrden Talisman! An even better scheme I hatch..."
He hid it deep in his pocket of Hammer Space and wrung out his robe.
"Muahahaha..."
"You might need to do some catching up, but basically, the mall is alive and we're trying to kill it before it kills us. Speaking of which--"
A large golem forms from the rubble around us, it rises to it's feet slowly, the red pits of it's eyes glowing with rage.[HEADING=3]"RRRRAAAAAAAUGH, SMASH PUNY PLAYERS!!"[/HEADING]
It brings it's fist down between Ren3004 and I, sending us flying across the room.
A large golem forms from the rubble around us, it rises to it's feet slowly, the red pits of it's eyes glowing with rage.[HEADING=3]"RRRRAAAAAAAUGH, SMASH PUNY PLAYERS!!"[/HEADING]
It brings it's fist down between Ren3004 and I, sending us flying across the room.
I am hurled against a nearby pillar, smashing through it. Debris falling from the floor above buries the golem.
"No kidding... How the hell did this happen?"
But before Stone can answer, the golem absorbs the debris and gets up, even bigger than before.
"No kidding... How the hell did this happen?"
But before Stone can answer, the golem absorbs the debris and gets up, even bigger than before.
I raise my sword to the golem, it flinches slightly before charging at me. I jump out of the way and it collides with the wall, smashing through it and absorbing the debris.
"Well, Zrofgvuk used Hrfyulgh to absorb HitlerStalin's evil/power, and then tried to transfer the evil/power to me to turn me into a minion of his, but that backfired when instead of hitting me, he hit the WeeGee Talisman which burst from the energy. The Mall absorbed this evil/power and came to life, attempting to kill all the players."
The golem turned and charged at me, I grabbed onto it's leg and held tight, climbing upwards and making my way towards the top.
"I'll go into more detail later, as for now we have to kill this thing."
"Well, Zrofgvuk used Hrfyulgh to absorb HitlerStalin's evil/power, and then tried to transfer the evil/power to me to turn me into a minion of his, but that backfired when instead of hitting me, he hit the WeeGee Talisman which burst from the energy. The Mall absorbed this evil/power and came to life, attempting to kill all the players."
The golem turned and charged at me, I grabbed onto it's leg and held tight, climbing upwards and making my way towards the top.
"I'll go into more detail later, as for now we have to kill this thing."
The elevator arrives at the ground floor and I get out and see Wera and Ren fighting a golem.
"Hmmm, should I help them or sit here and watch the show?"
"I'd say watch the show."
"Well you took your sweet time Sab."
"Well you try flying to the center of the earth,"
"I would of just taken a Land-Sub."
"I did take a Land-Sub."
"Then why did you have to fly here?"
"Because some idiot lasered the engine."
"Oh, I think that was Tox."
"Well, that's another person on my 'Need to Punch' list."
"Hmmm, should I help them or sit here and watch the show?"
"I'd say watch the show."
"Well you took your sweet time Sab."
"Well you try flying to the center of the earth,"
"I would of just taken a Land-Sub."
"I did take a Land-Sub."
"Then why did you have to fly here?"
"Because some idiot lasered the engine."
"Oh, I think that was Tox."
"Well, that's another person on my 'Need to Punch' list."
I climb up the golem until I reach his head and then jump to the upper floors.
"Okay, it should be around... here."
I go into the hardware store and grab all the blowtorches I can find.
"Now I just nee-*
I fall to the ground. When I manage to look, I see the balcony coming back to like and preparing to throw the cash register at me.
"Okay, it should be around... here."
I go into the hardware store and grab all the blowtorches I can find.
"Now I just nee-*
I fall to the ground. When I manage to look, I see the balcony coming back to like and preparing to throw the cash register at me.
I run out of the store, being chased by thrown objects. I slide down the golem again, dodging a punch and run over to the fountain. While the golem is charging my way, I connect the gas tanks in the blowtorch to the water mechanism.
"Hey! You need a shower!" And with those words, I aim a pressurized jet of water at the golem's head.
"Hey! You need a shower!" And with those words, I aim a pressurized jet of water at the golem's head.
The golem's head rolls off, stopping near a ledge featuring a bottomless pit and fifteen year warranty. The golem sighs with relief as he barely avoids falling in, before being pushed down by yours truly. The decapitated body is swinging voinlently in the direction of the blood hose, it brings it's fist down on the fountain, the destroyed fountain erupts in blood and sends it flying the way of it's head as blood coats the surrounding area before the stream dies down.
Zrofgvuk is sitting at one of the other fountains, flipping in coins and making strange and arbitrairy wishes.
Plop!
"I wish Liam Neeson's organs turned to candy..."
Plop!
"I wish for twinkie flavored ice cream..."
Plop!
"I wish Mr. T would perform at children's parties..."
Plop!
"I wish snails would rain down from the heavens..."
He checked his watch, he should really regroup with Stone Wera and the others, important plot related things could be happening.
Zrofgvuk is sitting at one of the other fountains, flipping in coins and making strange and arbitrairy wishes.
Plop!
"I wish Liam Neeson's organs turned to candy..."
Plop!
"I wish for twinkie flavored ice cream..."
Plop!
"I wish Mr. T would perform at children's parties..."
Plop!
"I wish snails would rain down from the heavens..."
He checked his watch, he should really regroup with Stone Wera and the others, important plot related things could be happening.
"Well that was entertaining." I say walking over to Wera and Ren.
"Oh, Wera, I'd suggest you duck.
Before Wera heeds my warning, crys out and falls to the ground clutching his nose.
"That's for leaving me behind," Saber says as she decloaks. "Now, where's Martie?"
"Last I sat him he was in a room filled with Creepers."
"Then lets go find him."
Saber walks towards the elevators and I turn to see Ren has an a look of confusion painted on his features.
"Oh, Wera, I'd suggest you duck.
Before Wera heeds my warning, crys out and falls to the ground clutching his nose.
"That's for leaving me behind," Saber says as she decloaks. "Now, where's Martie?"
"Last I sat him he was in a room filled with Creepers."
"Then lets go find him."
Saber walks towards the elevators and I turn to see Ren has an a look of confusion painted on his features.
"So who's the lass? I haven't seen her before."
I walk past Saber and press the down button. The elevatore arrives and I hold the door
"Make haste, martintox is probably cold and alone in some alley, lost and confused with no where to go, destitute and downtrodden!"
I walk past Saber and press the down button. The elevatore arrives and I hold the door
"Make haste, martintox is probably cold and alone in some alley, lost and confused with no where to go, destitute and downtrodden!"
"Well Wera, after I gained the Dr Octagonapus talisman I thought to myself, How am I going to gain the talismans under you and Tox's control, and I had a most excellent idea, I should clone myself. I mean with two Me's I would be ni unstoppable and so I did, unfortunately, The Mall was infused with the power of the Weegee while the cloning process was going, causing the Chad Warrden talisman, which I was considering on using at the time, to fly out of my hand and get infuse with the machine. Oh and if you remember, it was Saber who saved me in the Jackhammer emporium.
I finish talking and notice everyone's gone to sleep. Sighing, I drag Ren into the elevator and press the button for floor 1337, causing the elevator to plummet downwards.
I finish talking and notice everyone's gone to sleep. Sighing, I drag Ren into the elevator and press the button for floor 1337, causing the elevator to plummet downwards.