Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
- Thread starter Claymorez
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I sneak up behind martintox and stab his shooper with the Hrfyulgh.
"What did I tell you about trench coating?"
I snap the Hrfyulgh in two, destoying the power.
"What did I tell you about trench coating?"
I snap the Hrfyulgh in two, destoying the power.
I grab the gun and shove it up his-- Hey look, a dog. Where'd it come from? Why is it just staring into space? What's wrong with that dog? I turn around to see that martintox is absolutely not here.
"Where's he gone? What's with that dog?"
The dog is chewing on it's own foot.
"What wrong with the dog's foot? Why does he believe chewing on it will help?"
I wake up in some form of broom closet, to my suprise, everything up until this point had been a dream
"Eh, I probably shouldn't dwell on it."
I exit the closet and bump into martintox who's holding a gun
"Hmm,since when did I have this that gun?"
I grab the gun and shove it up his-- Hey look, a do--
"No!"
The dog excliams
"We're not doing this again!"
"Fine, then."
I shove the gun up martintox's rear end, firing and shoving him into the rack of Airplane II DVDs.
"Where's he gone? What's with that dog?"
The dog is chewing on it's own foot.
"What wrong with the dog's foot? Why does he believe chewing on it will help?"
I wake up in some form of broom closet, to my suprise, everything up until this point had been a dream
"Eh, I probably shouldn't dwell on it."
I exit the closet and bump into martintox who's holding a gun
"Hmm,since when did I have this that gun?"
I grab the gun and shove it up his-- Hey look, a do--
"No!"
The dog excliams
"We're not doing this again!"
"Fine, then."
I shove the gun up martintox's rear end, firing and shoving him into the rack of Airplane II DVDs.
I spawn on one of the hanging lights in the mall
"how did i get here and why am i here!!? and..."
I find I have a sniper rifle right next to me with a dead body
"I must pay my respects to this man"
*Kicks the guy off the light and down to the floor and takes the sniper rifle*
"Too bad I have no respect for him..."
"how did i get here and why am i here!!? and..."
I find I have a sniper rifle right next to me with a dead body
"I must pay my respects to this man"
*Kicks the guy off the light and down to the floor and takes the sniper rifle*
"Too bad I have no respect for him..."
I see a body fall from the ceiling, I look up to see a man with a rifle.
"Just a rifle? Certainly you can be more creative than that!"
I grab an armful of DVDs, and begin throwing them in shurikun fashion at the hanging light.
"Just a rifle? Certainly you can be more creative than that!"
I grab an armful of DVDs, and begin throwing them in shurikun fashion at the hanging light.
A couple of cds start zooming by.
"dangit, this is what I get for disrespecting the dead"
*Jumps off the light and on the second floor, while the light gets cut down and destroys the fountain*
"Oh come on... I liked that fountain..."
I then proceed to run and find some sort of sheild
"dangit, this is what I get for disrespecting the dead"
*Jumps off the light and on the second floor, while the light gets cut down and destroys the fountain*
"Oh come on... I liked that fountain..."
I then proceed to run and find some sort of sheild
I hear a *Thunk* and look up from playing Halo Reach to see my dead body laying on the pavement. I walk outside and, seeing Thecommander with my old sniper rifle, I draw the logical conclusion that he pushed my body off the cealing light. Angered I walk up to him and go into Full Bitentacled Winged Beast Mode and rip Commander asunder.
A walk into the Cetacea Emporium and grab a narwhal from the top shelf.
"Hey, are you going to pay for that?"
That color/voice...
I turn to see an evil looking man behind the counter, obviously not the cashier, who is impaled on a narwhal on the wall behind him.
"If you want something done right..."
He grabbed the narwhal from the wall, letting the cashier's body fall to the ground.
"En garde!"
I draw my narwhal, prepared to bring the plot to a resolution. I lunge at the villian, he parries and kicks me in the groin.
"Gack!"
While I'm doubled over, he bashes me in the head with the hilt of his narwhal. I fall to the ground, he attempts to run me through, but I'm lucky enough to roll out of the way at the last second. While he tries to pull his narwhal from the floor, I slash his knee, he kneels on his good knee and I kick him in the face, sending him flying backwards. I pull his weapon from the ground and point both at him.
"There's just one thing I want to know before I kill you... Why'd you do it?"
"Is it fair to cut so many innocent lives short? Just for the sake of tradition? I did it for every single denizen of this mall."
"Well then, prepare to die mister?..."
"Garfunkles... Jonah Garfunkles."
I skewer him with btoh narwhals, unfortunately, I don't have the duel wielding feat, and have to stab him multiple times before he finally dies a painful death.
"And so ends the complicated and horribly confusing plot... Rest in peace, Garfunkles."
"Hey, are you going to pay for that?"
That color/voice...
I turn to see an evil looking man behind the counter, obviously not the cashier, who is impaled on a narwhal on the wall behind him.
"If you want something done right..."
He grabbed the narwhal from the wall, letting the cashier's body fall to the ground.
"En garde!"
I draw my narwhal, prepared to bring the plot to a resolution. I lunge at the villian, he parries and kicks me in the groin.
"Gack!"
While I'm doubled over, he bashes me in the head with the hilt of his narwhal. I fall to the ground, he attempts to run me through, but I'm lucky enough to roll out of the way at the last second. While he tries to pull his narwhal from the floor, I slash his knee, he kneels on his good knee and I kick him in the face, sending him flying backwards. I pull his weapon from the ground and point both at him.
"There's just one thing I want to know before I kill you... Why'd you do it?"
"Is it fair to cut so many innocent lives short? Just for the sake of tradition? I did it for every single denizen of this mall."
"Well then, prepare to die mister?..."
"Garfunkles... Jonah Garfunkles."
I skewer him with btoh narwhals, unfortunately, I don't have the duel wielding feat, and have to stab him multiple times before he finally dies a painful death.
"And so ends the complicated and horribly confusing plot... Rest in peace, Garfunkles."
I respawn in the security center and looking around, see a shiny new controle panel with the words 'Ion Cannon' written on it. Pressing the biggest I hear a low rumbleing and laser beam appears, before it expands with an earth shattering explosion. I fall to my knees, and the securty center brecks free of it's housing and plumets onto of Sir.
I hold a narwhal at martintox's throat.
"Any last words?"
"Ah--"
I slice martintox's gullet open, blood dripping down the narwhal tusk.
"Sorry, didn't catch that..."
"Any last words?"
"Ah--"
I slice martintox's gullet open, blood dripping down the narwhal tusk.
"Sorry, didn't catch that..."
*finds dead riot guard and takes his riot sheild*
Now then, where should I go,*sees a perfect sniping spot in a dark corner of the ceiling*
Excellent,*spots a dog with sunglasses* Time to, oh wait *puts silencer on gun muzzle* there we go, *snipes the dog*.
Announcer:Headshot
*shots the announcer*
*uses grappling hook and flys up grapples up there*
Strange, why do I have a grappling hook...
Now then, where should I go,*sees a perfect sniping spot in a dark corner of the ceiling*
Excellent,*spots a dog with sunglasses* Time to, oh wait *puts silencer on gun muzzle* there we go, *snipes the dog*.
Announcer:Headshot
*shots the announcer*
*uses grappling hook and flys up grapples up there*
Strange, why do I have a grappling hook...
