Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Connor Lonske]

Before the song starts, as Connor puts the CD into the drive, he looks out on to horisen, seeing the Dalek ship. He hopes they don't kill him, as he puts in the CD. The CD plays.

Spoiler: OCC

The music starts at 0:30, the Daleks arrive at 5:30. This post ends at 1:05 into the video. I will keep you posted as you try to kill me.

 

[Ren3004]

I get back in my body. Suddenly, I get transported to another dimension. Everything is dark, and the only sound is a familiar laugh in the distance. I walk towards it.

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=2]MEANWHILE, IN THE DESERT![/HEADING]

RaNDM: "How exactly is having two of you a bad thing? It's bad for us, but it seems like you'd enjoy having a clone of yourself."

Sister: "Are you kidding? This universe can barely handle the power of just one of me! If another pops up, we're all screwed!"

RaNDM: "So what do you want me to do?"

Sister: "Take back the chainsaw. Kill Knife before he-"

A look of shock comes across Sister's face.

Sister: "Oh shit."

RaNDM: "What?

Siter: "Ren has it. You need to go, now!"

RaNDM: "Fine."


[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, AT THE MALL![/HEADING]
I respawn in the generator room below the mall. I look around and find my old handgun and sledgehammer.

"Time to go to work."

 

[Ren3004]

I walk for what feels like hours. The air around me starts growing colder. Finally, I get to the source of the laughing.

"Hello, Sister..."
"Oh, hi, Ren. I suppose you want your body back?"
"It would come in handy, yes."
"Well, I'M NOT GIVING IT TO YOU! I like it, it's cosy. Plenty of space in your hippocampus."
"Get out of there! Those memories are personal!"
"No!"
"Well, I'm just going to kick you out, then, okay?"
"Bring it on."

 

[RaNDM G]

I rush back to the surface and draw my pistol.

RaNDM: "Ren! What the fuck do you think you're doing!?"

Ren: "My name's not Ren..."

The possessed corpse of Ren rushes at me with Sister's chainsaw.

*cue boss fight*

Spoiler: OOC

Have fun after you leave the generator room ;D

Ninja'd.

 

[Ren3004]

Sister lunges at me. I dodge her and turn around to kick her in the head.
"You don't hit a girl!"
Ignoring her, I punch her stomach. She jumps in the air and falls on top of me. I push her aside and try to get away, but she grabs a tennis racquet from my memories and throws it at me.
"Ow!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Meanwhile in the Mall

As the Dalcks fill the Mall, Connor falls on his knees and looks up to the sky yelling "I DID IT!" He tell the Dalcks to wait for Waffles before they destroy the mall, and that anyone who spawns in the mall must be exterminated.

Spoiler: OCC

Have fun after you leave the generator room ;D

 

[RaNDM G]

I shoot Ren's body in the chest several times, but every bullet passes through without phasing him.

I take out my sledgehammer and catch him in the head. The blow seems to knock a blank expression on his face. For a second he looks like himself again, but his expression quickly changes to that familiar sadistic smile.

Ren: "C'mon. You know you have to do better than that."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Meanwhile on the Dalek Mothership
Waffles looks down upon his ex-friends, "Blame for things I did not do

WILL THEY?

" I point quickly at Alphonse, who I have appointed as my general for the time being, "General Alphonse, have the troops completely

EXTERMINATED

they pest yet?"
"

W...W-WELL...

" Alphonse stuttered.

Meanwhile, at the Mall
Several Dalek troopers are shopping with little to no concern of Mall domination.
"

DO YOU THINK THIS MAKES ME LOOK FAT?

", says Dalek 4Q2N-0XS5, worried about the current dress it has on.
"

OH, YOU LOOK FINE, SWEETIE!

", says Dalek 9PJ6-45H2 to his friend.

Back on the Dalek Mothership
I then slips into Picard facepalm [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNsrK6P9QvI&feature=related].
"

...BROTHER?

" Alphonse asks slowly.
"...Just

GO

..." I say.
Exeunt Alphonse.

Meanwhile, at the Llam
The confused Dalek completely purges himself on Homestuck apparel at the Homestuck store, donning Nepeta's coat, Dave's sunglasses, and enjoying the Medium album.
"

WOW, THIS IS GREAT!

", he says. He then tries to grab to Terezi's cane but cannot due to his plunger appendages.
"

OH MY GOG, WHAT THE F-

", he shouts then he remembers, he went through this before.
...He then goes back to his Homestuck apparel.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Wonder where the hell Waffles is, Connor tells the Dalck commander for the Mall invasion, well, where the hell is Waffles. After explaining that the song Connor played was relivent to only shopping, he tells him that Waffles is on the Dalck Mothership, but he has not herd of any details on what happened since they landed. He exclaimed that he was with Alphonse, the new Dalck general.

"Cool, seeing how I am slowing bleeding out from this shancking prison knife wound, I should probably go to the clinic and get a Doctor's bag. Tell Waffles and Alphonse that this cool guy right here is responsible for all this." "Affirmative"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Dalek 34VR-W34J entered my control room, "

SIR! I AM HERE TO SEND A MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE NAMED CONNOR.

"
"

SPEAK.

" I say, not even looking at Dalek 34VR-W34J.
"

HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU

'that this cool guy right here is responsible for all this'"
"...What is

THIS?

" I say, confused.
"

I HAVE NO IDEA, SIR.

I look at several surveillance cameras I hacked then finally looked at Dalek 34VR-W34J, "I will find out what

THIS

is."
Exeunt Waffles.

 

[Ren3004]

The world we're fighting in shakes and Sister falls. I strangle her until I can feel myself regaining control of my body, but soon Sister throws me back.

"Oh, Ren... So sorry about this... But you see, you're a giant pain in the ass!" she says before drawing a knife.

"Sorry, Sis... My mind, MY RULES!" I say, as I get in my car.

Sister runs towards me. I step on the gas pedal and hit her. Then, suddenly, I am standing in the mall, in front of RaN. At my side, I can see Sister fallen.

 

[RaNDM G]

I grab the chainsaw and hack the Sister clone to pieces.

RaNDM: "Thank God that's over with. Now we just need to find-"

I blackout.

[HEADING=2]MEANWHILE, IN THE DESERT![/HEADING]

Sister: "Alright, that's one down and two more to go."

RaNDM: "Two? I thought it was just Ren and Knife."

Sister: "Bryghtside."

RaNDM: "Oh yeah. I'm guessing he went crazy when he picked up the chainsaw after the first time you killed me?"

Sister: "No. He was already kind of a moron before you showed up."

RaNDM: "Oh."

Sister: "He just spawned near a newspaper stand. Fortunately he doesn't know what's going on. That definitely puts the fight in our advantage."

RaNDM: "Alright, I'll see what I can do."

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

Ren: "RaN? Are you alright?"

RaNDM: "What?"

Ren: "You just stood and stared at the wall for about a minute. Are you feeling okay?"

RaNDM: "Yeah, I'm fine. C'mon, let's go find Bryghtside."

 

[Ren3004]

"No, no, no! I'm a doctor, and that was an absence seizure. You need sodium valproate! TO THE PHARMACY!!!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor, getting tired of shopping with the Dalaks, goes to the music store and plays some alto sax to lighten the mood after setting up his sound system to play the music all around the mall, and the Dalcks play synhs on funky keyboards.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Waffles, in a bloody rage to find Connor, starts to hear music, "..Is

THIS

it?", I say, confused, "It's not that bad, as long as it's not

JUSTIN BEIBER

or any other manufactured

KIDDY BOPS

I'm good."
I then go back to finding Connor snapping my to the beat.

 

[Ren3004]

As we get to the pharmacy, I start hearing sax music around the mall.
"What is this new sorcery!?" I yell.