Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Connor Lonske]

"OK, what stopped the music?" Connor said as he threw the pizza at the wall in anger. "This is...good, actual. Wonder who played it?" I walk back to the music store to tell the Dalcks this music is awesome. However I found the room to be empty. "What... The... FUCCCCCCCCCCCK!"

Now in a really bad mood, he finds he completed a quest "Back in the Sax" and has a new quest "Homos Sucks"

*LEVEL UP*

He puts all his 15 points into lock pick, starting at 25, now at 40, and put the perk "Nerd Rage (2)" Which makes Both END and STR go up too ten when at low health or in full on rage mode, adds 10 to Damage Resistance at all times, and extra 5 when in rage, and stacks on with low health for 5, making 20 damage resistance + the 10 from his Reenforced Leather Jacket, making his DR at a frickan 30 damage.

Finally, Connor picks up a bass guitar, and head out for revenge on who ever took his friendly Dalcks away from him.

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

As I leave the pharmacy, I come across Knife wandering aimlessly around a garage.

"Knife? Is that you?"

I reach out and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around.

"GAH! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Knife's eyes are covered in some kind of black ink. As I back away, he stumbles toward me coughing up a mixture of blood and oil.

Taking a good look, I now see that Knife's body is riddled with cuts and electric wires. There's a hole in his abdomen covered in dried black ink. I can barely see a bright orange light shining from where his stomach should be.

[HEADING=1]ELSEWHERE![/HEADING]

After listening to several songs, Dalek 332-D-FB begins to acquire a sense of musical taste. He momentarily leaves his post and downloads MP3s from the nearest computer. After watching Connor leave in a fit of rage, the Dalek returns and plays this over the intercom:


[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE GARAGE![/HEADING]

Fitting music begins to play over the intercom.

Cyborg Knife: "We are not Knife. We are-"

RaNDM: "I don't give a damn! Fight me or get the Hell out of my way!"

Cyborg Knife: "YOU CONCEITED, WRETCHED HUMAN!"

Cyborg Knife rushes in and gets the first hit.

*cue boss fight*

Spoiler: OOC

Fight doesn't start until 1:57.

 

[Knife-28]

A speck of light appears, small at first, but it grows, until it's the size of a decent sized tv screen. The screen suddenly dims, then an image slowly starts to appear. Hands, my hands, attacking RaNDM. I open my mouth to scream in defiance, but no sound comes out.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Hearing the music, Connor said, again, "What the fuck?" Connor headed back to the music store, to find his favorite Dalck playing the awesome rock song. He hugs the Dalck saying "Oh thank god you guys are alright!"

"THANK YOU COOL GUY, HOWEVER, I HAVE NOT SEEN ANOTHER DALCKS SINCE THE BATTLE WITH RENEGADE WAFFLES, WHO WAS DEEMED AN ENEMY OF THE STATE AFTER KILLING YOU."

"So that is how I died, were are the others?"

"THE SURVIVORS WENT BACK TO THE MOTHERSHIP, BUT THEY LEFT ME BEHIND TO FIND YOU. AFTER NOT FINDING YOU, I HOPED THE MUSIC WOULD LEAD YOU BACK HERE. YOU LIKE IT, I JUST GOT IT, I THINK IT'S REALLY GOOD."

"That is a cool song. Now take me back to the mothership, and bring as many classic rock CDs as you can find."

"AFFIRMATIVE"

 

[Ren3004]

I wake up. "Urgh, how long was I out?" I pass my hand over my face and feel a long beard. "Well for a long time, apparently..." I get up. "Ow! Sleeping on the floor really killed my back." I go behind the counter, into the employee's toilet and rinse my face with water.

"Ah, much be- GAH!"
As I look into the mirror, I see that my hair and my beard are white, and my face is covered with wrinkles. I rush back out of the bathroom and see that the pharmacy's computer has a futuristic holographic display. I press all the buttons until it turns on.
"

Good afternoon. It is now 2:48 PM, of May 35th, year 2094. The temperature outside is...

"

"FUCK!"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]MEANWHILE, IN THE PAST![/HEADING]

I draw and fire my handgun, but Knife evades and disarms me.

The fight proceeds similar to this, with me in the black jacket and Knife wearing white. War Pigs is still playing in the background.


After breaking my nose, Knife stops the fight.

Cyborg Knife: "Why do we fight?"

RaNDM: "What kind of question is that?"

Cyborg Knife: "Don't play dumb with me. We're not here because we are free. We are here because we are not free."

RaNDM: "I think I know where this is going."

Cyborg Knife: "There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist."

A second Knife cyborg enters. "It is purpose that created us.

Another cyborg enters. "Purpose that connects us."

Three more cyborgs enter. "Purpose that pulls us. That guides us. That drives us."

Another cyborg enters. "It is purpose that defines us. Purpose that binds us."

The original speaks again. "We are here because of you, RaNDM. Because you are alive when we... I... should be dead."

RaNDM: "Yep, I definitely should have seen this coming."

Cyborg Knife: "So then... To the death?"

RaNDM: "Yes. To the death."

The cyborgs all attack at once. War Pigs is still playing in the background.

 

[Ren3004]

I go out of the pharmacy and look at the decrepit mall around me. The walls are sprayed with blood and the walls are cracked. Looking down onto the lower floors, I see the remains of a giant robot. In its hand is a broken skeleton.

"Oh, no..."

 

[Connor Lonske]

Mean while in the Past...

Connor has entered the Dalck ship, now in the face of with the Dalck General, not seen in the little bit of light in the dark room. "MY MEN TELL ME THAT WAFFLES IS A TRAITOR... AND THAT YOU HAVE GAINED THE RESPECT OF THE MY FOOT SOLDIERS, IS THAT CORRECT?"

Connor gulps in mild fear. "Yes..."

"IT APPEARS MY PEOPLE LIKE YOU, AND WITH THE HYBRID WAFFLES AGEIST US, WE NEED A NEW HUMAN/DALCK HYBRID. IF YOU ACCEPT US AS YOUR NEW LEADERS, WE WILL GIVE YOU A POWER OF A DALCK, YET YOU WILL STILL RETAIN THE ATTRIBUTES OF A HUMAN. DO YOU ACCEPT."

"On one condition."

"WHAT?"

"You make me part Dalck, but you also implement a chiptune player in my brain with a speaker in my chest so I can make chiptune music."

"...DONE."

 

[Knife-28]

The screen continues to show me, many me's fighting RaNDM.
"Ahh, so entertaining."
I turn around and see Sister, eating a bag of popcorn. In anger, I charge her, but as soon as I get close, she she disappears, and reappears behind me. This continues for some time, Sister laighing all the while.

 

[Ren3004]

"YOU! STOP!"

I turn around to see a robot pointing a gun at me.

"How did you get here."
"Funny story, actually, I took some pills and fell asleep, then when I woke up I was... here."
The robot shoots me.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I, after the killing of Connor, have a celebratory party.
"The fucker's

DEAD!

", I say, happily. I then stumble around the ship, drunkenly, busting into random room and leaving as fast as I came in.
One room catches my attention, the Force Recruitment Center.
"Hello~!" I say, happily and hiccuping. "Anyone here~!?", I see Connor getting strapped in the Recruitment Device.
"What the h-" I piece it all together and instantly sober up.
I blast

EXTERMINATE

the traitorous Daleks before the can do anything and grab Connor.
"

You honestly thought that would work?

", I say, with a twisted smile.

 

[Ren3004]

I wake up in the pharmacy again and run to the employee toilet.

"Oh, thank God!" I say, as I notice I'm still young and stunningly beautiful. "It was all a dream!"

I also find a rocket launcher in the toilet.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Connor Coughs, than evilly says. "You don't seem to understand, with out the Dalcks, your nothing. Even your best friend doesn't even care about you anymore. I will give you one chance to redeem yourself in the eyes of the Dalcks, you will openly give your position of Human/Dalck guy to me at the ceremony were I become the new official Human/Dalck guy."


Wallfes raises his blade, "What if I kill you right now?"

"If you kill me, then when I respawn in the mall, I will play a song into the PA system that will make the Dalck terminate all not Dalck lifeforms in the ship. However, if you do as I ask, then I will let you be a lower Human/Dalck guy, and give you a chance to get back lost friends."

Waffles grumbles, lowers his sword still holding onto Connor. "And if I refuse but don't kill you?"


"If you refuse, than you are banished from the Dalck ships for ever, but maybe we won't shoot at you by the time we feel like invading."

"..."

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE GARAGE![/HEADING]

War Pigs continues to play in the background.


I am attacked from on all sides, but I manage to hold my own against the cybernetic horde. One particular robot who appears stronger than the rest challenges me to single combat.


After defeating the cyborg, the rest attack me at once. As I knock down several cyborgs, more and more continue to join the fight. I quickly begin to fight my way towards the leader. If I can destroy him, maybe the others will shut down as well.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Waffles sense a disturbance, their leader, or Waffle's friend, is in danger. Connor now plays War Pig out of his chest, signaling that Dalck 332-D-FB is also in trouble.

"AW SHIT!" They both yell as these events play at the same time.

"Look, whether you like it or not, we both have stake with the Dalcks now, and if you give two shits about them, we have to work together despite our differences, for now at the very least." Connor says.

Spoiler: OCC

Come on, be a sport Waffles.

 

[Ren3004]

I run out of the pharmacy and decide to go down into the garage, where I find RaN fighting a bunch of Knife cyborgs.

I shoot a rocket at the mob of cyborgs and join RaN in fighting the rest of them. I play an appropriate song in my head.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I pimp slap the fuck out of Connor and grab him again, "You forget two things, one: in this Dalek/Human body, I am able to turn on and off emotions at will, who cares I lose a few lower than me!"
I slap him again.
"Two! I am Waffles N. Bacon! I have looked Cthulu himself in the eye until he blinked,

YOU ARE LESS THAN NOTHING TO ME!

"
I throw him out of the Armada ship and proceed to

EXTERMINATE

all Daleks, "Traitorous motherfuckers! The lot of ya!"

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE GARAGE![/HEADING]

I turn my head in time to see a rocket fly past my head into a cluster of cyborgs.

RaNDM: "Ren?"

Ren: "You didn't think you could throw a fight without me, did you?"

Ren jumps down from the platform and lands next to me.

Ren: "So, what's the plan?"

RaNDM: "Kill the leader."

Ren: "Which one is that?"

RaNDM: "You'll know him when you see him."

 

[Connor Lonske]

As Connor falls out the ship with his back to the ground, he pulls out his arm towards the ship, and finds it extending and hitting the open escape pod. "Whoh, that's cool." He reaches the escape pod, and finds he has completed the quest "Homos Sucks" and gained the new quest, "Kung-Fu Dalcks" however he gains no levels. Connor takes the escape pod to save his new leader and his friend.

"Come in General, repeat, come in general."

"YES, CONNOR, THE UPGRADE GO AS PLANED?"

"No sir, Waffles came on the ship just as I got off, he is EXTERMINATING everyone." Connor lied, to avoid getting in trouble.

"NEVERMIND THE SHIP, THERE ARE ONLY 124 DALCKS ON THAT SHIP, WE HAVE THOUSANDS"

"But wasn't that the mothership?"

"YES, BUT WE HAVE 100 OF THEM BACK HOME. NOW, YOU ARE TO HELP US DEFEAT ALL THESE CYBORGS."

"What of Waffles?"

"ARE YOU IN THE MALL?"

"No. I am la-I mean are outside the entrance, about a mile away from the ship"'

"LOOK BEHIND YOU"

Connor gassed the ship's dark fusion core slowly pulling it in on itself, bring everything inside into another universe.

"Ah, OK, I'll go help you guys now."

Connor ended the transmission, and started to think of a cool song to play on his speakers for the Battle. He played this, using his intercom transmitter to play it all throughout the mall to.


"Lets do this." He said as he cracked his knuckles slowly walking to the sound of EXTERMINATION rays and screaming cyborgs.

Meanwhile in the Desert, A large portal appeared completely out of nowhere, with a twisted in space time, yet intact, ship passing out of it.

Spoiler: OCC

Someone think of Sister's reaction to this.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Dalek. Cyborg. Human. Dalek. Dalek. Human. Cyborg. Human. Human. Cyborg.
I wasn't picky over who I killed, just anyone deeming themselves worthy enough to be in close enough to me.
...Then I got bored. Mindless killing for once in my life became boring.
Then I turned to look at the dark fusion core sucking ever thing in.
I stared at it.
It stared back at me.
I trudged on ignoring it.