Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Connor Lonske]

D-FB, before setting out to find his 'best friend cool guy forevers' (BFCGFs), he needed to know his current location. He uses his long range tracking node to see that Connor was located 1 mile from the mall to the south, and he was 3 miles from the portal, 5 miles from the ship. He set out for Connor, and played this song on his speakers.


D-FB always wondered what coffee was, he had herd about it on the internet when he got the MP3s back when the mall was in it's original universe. D-FB was starting to rap his head around this alternate universe thing, but started thinking WHAT IF THIS PORTAL STARTS SUCKING IN OTHER UNIVERSES? WHAT IF THIS UNIVERSE GET SUCKED INTO THE MALL UNIVERSE. These thoughts troubled Dalek 332-D-FB as he rode arose the desert to the little dot in the distance of the mall.

 

[Ren3004]

"Great movie!"

 

[Ren3004]

I get a ticket for Airplane II.

 

[Ren3004]

"Another great movie."

 

[Ren3004]

I decide to take a shot at the bowling lanes.

 

[RaNDM G]

On the way to the lanes, I realize something is missing.

RaNDM: "Hey, what happened to Knife... Sister... whoever that guy is now?"

Ren: "Were did you see them last?"

RaNDM: "I left them by that X-Men advertisement to grab some popcorn... Aw shit."

Ren and I frantically run about searching for Knife/Sister, but to no avail.

RaNDM: "Oh well, knowing them they're probably off bothering Waffles. Still want to try bowling?"

Ren: "Sure."

Ren picks up a few strikes and spares and gets a score of 276. I end up with a 98.

Yes, I really suck at bowling.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I turn around to Sister, "

Salutations.

", I say, still calm, "

I assume you are the infamous Sister?

"

 

[Knife-28]

"That I am, I wish I could meet you in a more...suitable form."
'Hey, that's my body your talking about!' I think, watching the proccedings.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"

Any form is fine by me.

" I say, then I bow humbly, "

It is an honor to meet you.

"

 

[Ren3004]

To celebrate my victory, I smash RaN's head in with a bowling ball.

"Damn! I was getting tired of not killing anyone."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

WaffleselffaW finds Tox's last will, I then edit it to make him give me everything he owns.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

The multiple Waffles' corpses start to stand up, cacophony of grinding gears and short circuits is heard.
"

Ex...Termi-..N-..N-Nate!

" One Waffles corpses says, and the rest follow along with him.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

A tentacle like wire grabs Tox's foot and suspends him in the air, Alternate Timeline Waffles, grey haired, with multiple wires coming out of his back, looks at Tox, "

Yeah, you're in the wrong universe.

" Alt. Waffles says.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Alt. Waffles holds himself up Slender-Man style and looks into the eyes of the upside Tox, "

I am Waffles...Well not Waffles, but still Waffles nonetheless...

" Alt. Waffles says almost friendly.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"

Of course!

" Alt. Waffles says, and gently places Tox on the ground, a Waffleborg, then bring Tox a cup of tea and does the same to Alt. Waffles, "

Drink. I promise you it is not poisoned.

"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

A Waffleborg watches as Tox runs into the bathroom, "

DO YOU N-N-NEEEEEEEEeeeeeee[small]eeeeeeee-[/small]...

", the cyborg pauses, "

[small]eeeeeeeee[/small]eeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEED ASSISTANCE?

"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

The Waffleborg throws a towel at Tox.

 

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]BACK AT THE MALL![/HEADING]

Ren bashes me in the head with a bowling ball.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

[Medicine 100] I shoot up several Stimpacks, take a handful of Buffout, and stumble into a nearby hospital. There's a doctor in the ER.

RaNDM: "Who are you?"

Doctor: "Who."

RaNDM: "No. I asked what your name was."

Doctor: "Who."

RaNDM: "Forget about it. Just patch me up."

The doctor takes out what appears to be some kind of laser pointer from his coat pocket. He scans my head with it.

Doctor: "So, it appears you have 23 fractures in the Temporal and Parietal regions of your cranium. Can I ask you a question?"

RaNDM: "What is it?"

Doctor: "How are you not dead?"

RaNDM: "I raised my Medicine skill to 100. I've been shooting up Stimpacks and Buffout just to dull the pain."

Doctor: "That's the worst excuse I've heard, but anything's possible I suppose. Now, this may sting a little."

He holds the device up to my head and pushes a button. The shards of bone are immediately repaired and reset. He then surgically installs a metal plate to keep everything in place.

RaNDM: "Thanks Doc."

Doctor: "Don't mention it."

After watching me leave to kick Ren's ass, the doctor enters a nearby police booth and teleports away.


[HEADING=1]IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE![/HEADING]

I awaken to the sound of whispering voices. I keep my eyes closed and play dead.

"I've never seen a forest creature like that before. What is he?"

"I don't have a clue."

"Is he alive?"

"I think he's still breathing. He must be asleep."

"Well then, wake him up."

"I'm not going to wake him up. You wake him up."

"Well we can't just leave him in the Everfree Forest. What if the royal guards find him?"

"If they find us with him, we'll be in as much trouble as he is. It's best if we just walk away and pretend we didn't see anything."

I can't stand waiting anymore and open my eyes. As my sight adjusts to the sun, I see two ponies staring at me. One is wearing a stetson hat, while the other looks like a pegasus with a pink mane. The pegasus opens its mouth.

"Hello?"

I reply the way any normal human being would when addressed by a talking pony for the first time. By screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

[Knife-28]

"Well then," Sister says, looking at the bowing Waffles with a look of contempt, "I th-Aaarrrrggg!" Sister screams in pain, and drops to the ground holding her head. The screaming stops, and I look up,. "Waffles, you've got to help me, I'm trapped i-Arrgg!" My eyes, for the few short seconds, a brilliant blue, return to a dull grey colour.

[HEADING=2]Meanwhile, In my Mind![/HEADING]
"That, was very, very naughty of you Knife"
"Go to hell, you stuck up bit-" A slap across the face quickly silences me.
"For your information," Sister says, abandoning the concept of personal space, "I've been to hell, got board of it" She steps back, flickers, and vanishes.

 

[Ren3004]

I punch the person closest to me.