Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[RaNDM G]

[HEADING=1]ELSEWHERE IN THE MALL![/HEADING]

Knife awakens to find he has been hogtied to a rail, free of Sister's control.

Knife: "Uh, hello?"

 

[Knife-28]

"Hello, guys, anyone there?" I turn around, hoping to see someone, but the mall seems empty. "Why is noone ever around after I blackout?" "Beats me, maybe you need to get possesed less often." I turn around, and see Saber standing there, looking a little beat up, but ok. "Jesus Saber, I haven't seen you for ages, where have you been?"
"Oh Knifey, Knifey, Knifey, I never left." Saber steps forward, and I gasp, before looking down and seeing that I have been impaled with a crude combination of a saber and a chainsaw. "Enjoy plan B"

 

[ERROR989]

I wake up and find myself in a Ice Cream store.

 

[RaNDM G]

I continue to watch Ren and Waffles battle.

 

[ERROR989]

After getting kicked by SirBryghtside, I begain th cry for the loss of my ice cream.

 

[ERROR989]

I see a table covered in bowls of ice cream. I take one.

(Ice Cream obtained)
I leave the ice cream store.

 

[ERROR989]

I proceed to find a Post Office. I find a bunch of envelopes. I take 10.

INV:
Ice Cream
Envelopes (x10)

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I deliver the final blow to Ren.

VICTORY!

I do a victory dance.

LEVEL UP!
Health +2
Magic +3
Attack +1
Defense +3
Speed +3
Luck +3

"That'll teach ya!" I say to Ren's dead body as climb out of the sewers.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I turn around to a now-following-me Tox.
"Tox...Do you want to join my party?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Well, glad that's over with."

I pull a knife off of Ren's corpse and follow Waffles and Tox out of the sewers.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Tox, Xot, Futox and RaN have joined your party!

"Hell yeah!" I say, I then check there stats.

Tox
Level 18
HP: 270/ 290
MP: 340/340

RaN
Level 18
HP: 300/320
MP: 250/260

Xot
Level `18
HP: 230/250
MP: 250/300

I then glance over at Futox's stats.

Futox
Level 81
HP: 2200/2200
MP: 4000/4000

I look at Futox in astonishment.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"I do!" I then grab Futox's hand and shake it, "You are the overpowered-son-of-a-***** who'll make us overpowered-sons-of-bitches! ...Not implying your mother is a ***** of course!" I say, still shaking Futox's hand.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"So you'll help us, Futox!?" I say.

 

[RaNDM G]

RaN: "Before you answer that, I would just like to say I never explicitly stated that I wanted to join your party."

Waffles: "Well, do you?"

RaN: "Maybe if you asked next time instead of jumping the gun and drafting me."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well, do you?" I ask RaN, then turn to Futox, "Deal! I have that much in a fort I made!" I shake Futox's hand to seal the deal.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well," I then get out several odd looking hats, "We wear these Exp. Shares, and you fight enemies and we ascend to godhood!"

 

[RaNDM G]

"That's it. I draw the line at stupid hats."

I walk back into the Mall to find Knife and bring him up to speed with events, only to discover his insides torn away.

[Medicine 100] Taking a closer look, I find that the damage on the inside appears to be consistent with the ripping action of a chainsaw, but the surface wound itself is a quick slash similar to the cut of a sword.

Knife suddenly coughs, sputtering blood from his mouth and nose.

RaN: "Holy shit."

Knife: "S-Saber..."

Knife loses consciousness. I untie him from the rail and carry him to the hospital.

[HEADING=1]AT THE HOSPITAL![/HEADING]

RaN: "DOC! YOU IN HERE!?"

No response.

I carry Knife into the ER and prepare to perform surgery.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

We all follow behind Futox in search of enemies.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I land on my head, "Son of a b-" My curse is stopped short by the beauty and nostalgia of this place. It's like a giant funhouse, games, rides, a train the connects the whole things.
...Shit is awesome now.
"Shit is awesome now.". See I told you.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Futox's Exp. gets shared through everyone in the party.