I respawn behind Orange holding a lyre, my monochrome colour scheme gone. "'T'is truly a great tale to behold, that of the original mall..." I strum my lyre. "I'll condense it as best I can, up to the point I've got up to with my re-reading of it so far..." My tale begins. "Oh Muse, tell me of the many warriors who battled one another for amusement... Tell me of the God-Moder, Claymorez, who discovered a store known as the "God Store", capable of granting one the powers of the gods themselves... Tell me of the hot ghost who I totally scored with..." I begin by telling Orange of the old warrior, Azraellod, who hasn't posted in this thread for a while.
Mighty Azraellod was a master of construction, and he used his skills to construct a number of Mechanical Lions to do his bidding. Each of the lions was bested, and eventually Azraellod retracted to the shadows, a formidable fighter still, but no longer the master of machinery he was.
The LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE-CREAM was an object of untold power; everyone in the mall battled over it. Eventually it was either eaten or destroyed (accounts vary on the matter), and that was all there was to it. Various capitalized foodstuffs resurfaced over the months, but none could rival the LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE-CREAM in terms of might.
In every epic, conclusive battle ever fought in the mall, there has been a song to accompany it. The earliest was the Pokemon battle theme [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jmty_NiaXc], followed by the ever-popular Duel of the Fates [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyCigHHwOcE] (thought by many to be the official battle theme for the Mall for a time), and many since.
Bryghtside's Hot Ghost Sister (often abbreviated to just "Sister") was exactly that: extremely hot, a ghost, and noble Sir Bryghtside's sister. She begrudged her brother for all the time she was in the mall, but found a friend when all else turned against her in none other than Sam G. Who then went on to totally score with her. Her and her brother simeltaneously at one point (it's okay though, he was a girl at the time; that, however, is another tale for another time). Sister was a master of dual-wielding chainsaws, and she battled with great proficiency against Bryghtside, Ren, Pm0n3y and the rest before they sealed her in the depths of Hell forever. (she got better, though)
The Great Flood and the Great Fire were both events that ravaged the Mall, causing irreparable damage. Or at least, they would have, if people didn't just ignore them all the time.
The Malevolent Stranger was a unique warrior in the means of the way he battled. He would hide in the manager's office, sending swarms of minions after foes, saying "The Game" a lot and playing really awful music all the time over the speakers. He used a great number of body doubles, so if anyone tried to kill him he'd claim it was actually a Spy disguised as him that they killed.
Finally, the Manager. A mystery wrapped in an enigma. The Manager appeared from no-where, slaughtered thousands, turned into a dinosaur and died just as abruptly as he had appeared. But now he's back...
"...And that, my boy, is the tale of the Mall." My story complete, I smash my lyre over Orange's head and run off to see if I can find the meme talismans [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.150020-Mall-Fight?page=17#3621269] lying around anywhere.
Mighty Azraellod was a master of construction, and he used his skills to construct a number of Mechanical Lions to do his bidding. Each of the lions was bested, and eventually Azraellod retracted to the shadows, a formidable fighter still, but no longer the master of machinery he was.
The LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE-CREAM was an object of untold power; everyone in the mall battled over it. Eventually it was either eaten or destroyed (accounts vary on the matter), and that was all there was to it. Various capitalized foodstuffs resurfaced over the months, but none could rival the LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE-CREAM in terms of might.
In every epic, conclusive battle ever fought in the mall, there has been a song to accompany it. The earliest was the Pokemon battle theme [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jmty_NiaXc], followed by the ever-popular Duel of the Fates [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyCigHHwOcE] (thought by many to be the official battle theme for the Mall for a time), and many since.
Bryghtside's Hot Ghost Sister (often abbreviated to just "Sister") was exactly that: extremely hot, a ghost, and noble Sir Bryghtside's sister. She begrudged her brother for all the time she was in the mall, but found a friend when all else turned against her in none other than Sam G. Who then went on to totally score with her. Her and her brother simeltaneously at one point (it's okay though, he was a girl at the time; that, however, is another tale for another time). Sister was a master of dual-wielding chainsaws, and she battled with great proficiency against Bryghtside, Ren, Pm0n3y and the rest before they sealed her in the depths of Hell forever. (she got better, though)
The Great Flood and the Great Fire were both events that ravaged the Mall, causing irreparable damage. Or at least, they would have, if people didn't just ignore them all the time.
The Malevolent Stranger was a unique warrior in the means of the way he battled. He would hide in the manager's office, sending swarms of minions after foes, saying "The Game" a lot and playing really awful music all the time over the speakers. He used a great number of body doubles, so if anyone tried to kill him he'd claim it was actually a Spy disguised as him that they killed.
Finally, the Manager. A mystery wrapped in an enigma. The Manager appeared from no-where, slaughtered thousands, turned into a dinosaur and died just as abruptly as he had appeared. But now he's back...
"...And that, my boy, is the tale of the Mall." My story complete, I smash my lyre over Orange's head and run off to see if I can find the meme talismans [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.150020-Mall-Fight?page=17#3621269] lying around anywhere.
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