Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[WafflesandBacon]

"I fought twenty demons at once at a party. Does that count?"

***

"Yes, sir!" I run out of the apartment, dropkick Tribly to death, and run to find marijuana.

 

[Saltarius]

"If you really care, I'll show you them after the movie's over."

---

JFK sits and waits, calmly smoking a cigarette and propping his feet on the table.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Show me what?"

***

"Sir!" I call bringing back 20 pounds of marijuana, "I got the stuff!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn.
"Well, that was just rude."

 

[Saltarius]

"The scars the damn Ruskies gave me."

---

"Good! Good! Now den..."

An hour later, the room is filled with a dull cloud, with JFK and Waffles sitting across from each other and doped the fuck out, this as their soundtrack.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Hahaha! No."

***

"Like, zoinks, Mr. President! How are we going to take over the world, when we're stoked out of our minds?"

 

[Saltarius]

"...People always pass up opportunities to see me with my shirt off..."

---

"Rike, ri ron't ruckin' ro Rosco."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Maybe some day, sweetheart."

***

"But...Then...How?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Ri ranted ruckin' reed, Rosco."

---

"Well, film's over. You wanna just head back or...?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well, what do you want to do?"

***

"But, I wanted world domination!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Ri'm rettin' roo rit!"

---

"Avoid JFK, do something action-y, I dunno."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Demon hunting?"

***

"How?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Badass action couple stuff is like. Number five on my list."

---

"Rirst, rwe ronna rob ra rank."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Number one?"

***

"Easy enough. Security is lose as Monica Lewinsky."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Ask Waffles."

---

"Roo ra ruck ris Ronica Rewinsky?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"You can tell me."

***

"A presidentially elected whore."

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm too embarrassed to say. Just call him."

---

"Rhatwever! Ret's roo ris!"

 

[Knife-28]

"So...are we still killing ghost JFK or what?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Yea-!" My ringtone [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXDzS9nmKgY] goes off. I pick the phone, "Yo, sis. What's shakin'?"

"Yeah, hey. I was just wondering about Salt's number one fantasy."

"...Why does everyone think we had that sorta relationship?"

"No, she said you of all people would know about it."

"Oh. Uh, you sure you wanna know?"

"Certain."

"Fat chicks."

"...What?"

"Yeah, she pops a lady boner for Rebel Wilson."

"...Huh. Would've never guessed."

"I know, right?" I hang up. "Let's go, Mr. President!"

***

"No go, sweetheart. I like my weight the way it is."

 

[Saltarius]

"Was I suggesting you change it?"

---

JFK instantly sobers up, springing to his spectral feet.

"If da need aruyses, I'll use yowa body as a vessel."