Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"Seems so. Let me play this up first."

"Are you all ready? This is the testimony that will (mostly) prove my innocence!"

"I call Diamond to the stand!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"We're not in the court right now. We're investigating."

 

[Saltarius]

"I was...practicing? Just give us a preliminary testimony, Diamond."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"There's no possible way Salt could've murder, stole, and ran any drugs."

"Her and I were on date. All night."

"Believe me when I say, I didn't let her out of my sight."

"Waffles and his stupid ghost president filled the house with weed smoke, so we stayed out a little longer while it fumigated."

"All together, I'd say we stayed out from 7:00 PM to 12:00 PM."

 

[Saltarius]

"Okay. Good. Now you just need to BS a way so that it acquits me of what I did on Gashog."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"I'm not going to lie on the stand."

 

[Saltarius]

"It's not lying, it's an alternative representation."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Not only do I not know what you did on Gashog, I don't even know what it is!"

 

[Saltarius]

"You want me to be honest? Me either. Then again, I sorta tried to forget that."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"So, logically, and legally, I cannot say what you did or did not do on Gashog."

 

[Saltarius]

"Legally, no one here is qualified to prosecute, judge, or defend. Somehow, the law doesn't matter in the eyes of the law."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well, excuse me for trying to some order and sanity."

 

[Saltarius]

"Don't blame you. Just saying how it is."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Sadly, I'm afraid it is."

 

[Saltarius]

"I've got a backup plan anyways."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Oh? Do tell."

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm gonna use D4C to summon an alternate me to take the rap for it."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hey, idiot. Everyone just heard you say that out loud."

 

[Saltarius]

"They can't legally use that as evidence."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Didn't you just say law doesn't apply?"