Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

I fire my revolver at the drawer before it draws it too close. It goes off harmlessly to me and Paddy.

 

[Wackymon]

Diane walks in, covered in grese, "Aww, you missed the bomb! I filled that up with Cupcakes!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Yeah, and this gun is filled with soda pop. Care for some?"

I fire it into her skull.

 

[Wackymon]

Diane falls down, and respawns.
Then she appears behind Salt with frebrease and a lighter, setting salt on fire with her flame thrower.

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm not sure you understand the whole 'armor from fuedal japan.' That shit don't succumb to fire easy."

I slice Diane's arms off and turn the makeshift flamethrower on her.

 

[Wackymon]

Diane dies... again.
Three drawers begin to roll to salt, surrounding him on all sides. Around him are twelve mini-helicopters.

 

[Saltarius]

"Honestly, I try and be a good person by forming the G-Team, protectors of the mall, and this shit happens."

I backflip onto a drawer before leaping off and firing wildly at the pursuing helicopters.

"PADDY! NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO WAKE UP! DIANE'S GONE FULL CUPCAKES!"

 

[Wackymon]

The drawer blows up, killing Salt.

 

[Saltarius]

"Oh you."

I resuit myself and repair the armor before sitting down next to the still unconscious Paddy.

"Dude. Dude. Dude. Wake up. Dude. Wake up dude. Dude Wake up."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Unfortunately I don't see very far into the future. And maybe this shit wouldn't have happened if you hadn't shot Diane with a crossbow."

 

[Wackymon]

Diane happily rolls up to Paddy and salt, "That was fun, wasn't it! Do you want to do it again!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I just punched myself to sleep. At least it reminded me of that Superjail episode. Heh. Heh. Superjail. Anyway." I stand up and light some drugs. "What's going on?"

 

[Saltarius]

"We fought, had some laughs, I wrote stuff in her blood, it was cool. So did you see anything?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I saw what just happened."

 

[Saltarius]

"Very useful. Very fucking useful. Well, my badass suit is gone, Elorshrit is wrecked, and all I got is this samurai armor. How the fuck am I going to make it on Imir?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You can build a new suit and horse, you built a fucking Gundam in half an hour for god's sake, granted it fell apart under our weight, but the point still stands. And what the fuck is up with your robot horse's name anyway? And we don't know what we're gonna face, it could just be bears or some shit."

 

[Wackymon]

Diane looks at Salt, "Whats that?"

 

[Saltarius]

"He's my badass mechanical horse. And for the record, his name means horse in Russian. I mean, Iron Man built his first suit in a motherfucking cave in the Middle East."

I quit with the bitching and repair Elorshrit.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"That's pretty cool. Also how did you make my armour explode when it was just plates under my suit?"

 

[Wackymon]

Giant robot bears appear out of nowhere, and attack the group.