Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

I throw Paddy across the bar.

"Shut the fuck up before I hit you again."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Oh wait, I forgot you're not a terrible person like me. Vriska's gone huh?" I light up again. "Why are so attached to the kid anyway? You knew him for a day tops."

 

[Saltarius]

"If you can't understand why a man grows an attachment to their child, you don't know anything about humanity."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"But Salt, he wasn't yours. He was your past self's. For better or worse."

 

[Saltarius]

"Paddy, that 'past self' was still me. No matter what, he was me."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"That make me a basement dwelling conspiracy nut? Who happened to be right?"

 

[Saltarius]

"The point is, I didn't call a bluff and I killed my family. A family that is now gone from me. Because Trilby is a fucking idiot and took away our only chance at escaping this loop,"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sir, it's time."
"Time for what? Oh wait..." I see the schedule. I suit up in some armor, do a final equipment check, and me and thousands of resistance soldiers, are moving towards the center of the city. We arrive, and I stand on stage. The speech comes to mind for some reason. The whole thing is broadcasted globally.
"Citizens! No doubt you understand the stupidity of Saltarius's reign, and will agree with us, when we say it's time for a change! This resistance isn't about a power struggle though. It's about much more. Saving the Mall itself! It is falling apart. Something keeps happening, and it's soon gonna destroy us completely. But first, Saltarius has to be brought out of power. Let us begin."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Wrong, they thought Aradia was the key. So you shot her in front of her child with explosive bulets! You didn't think to take him out of the room?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Do you think I don't regret it? Do you think I don't regret fucking everything? Do you even recall how many people I've killed here? Sam G? Xot? Maybe you need to fuck up royal sometime. Learn how it feels."

 

[Paddy the Second]

Jesu Christo! How many times do I have to explain this? Consequences don't matter! And maybe I haven't fucked up because I know how to keep a handle on things huh?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Oh that is fucking it."

I grab a empty bottle and break it over Paddy's head. I then proceed to toss him onto a table, splintering it and sending patrons running. The performers on stage run backstage.

I pull out my revolver and aim it at Paddy's heart.

"Say one more thing. I fucking dare you Vash. Or is it Belano? I don't care, because your going into an unmarked grave twenty miles from here once I'm done."

 

[Paddy the Second]

I push myself over onto my back and grin at Salt. "Neither. I don't know who this was. Let's call him the Rat Man, nice Portal reference. An unmarked grave you say? I'm sure Belano would appreciate the poetry in that." I clasp two fingers around the joint still in my mouth and flick it forwards, it hits Salt in the eye. While he's distracted I kick the gun from his hand and break a chair over his head.

 

[Saltarius]

"I'd prefer beating you unconscious, stripping you naked and binding you, then covering you in honey. I'd sent you out onto a boat where the flies and bees would come for you. Your last days of existence covered in insects and your own filth. But alas, this'll have to do. I think I will mark the grave. 'Here lies Paddy the Second, he ran fast and died a virgin.'"

I kick Paddy in the dick and uppercut him while he's doubled over. From there, I retrieve my gun and fire a normal round into his knee.

 

[Paddy the Second]

My knee buckles and falls to the floor. "Woah now Salt, I'm into bondage but that shit's just too far." I pull myself up and prop my wounded side against a table. "And virgin? Since when did you dictate my past?" I fling the table at Salt, it slams him into the wall. I begin to roll away, leaving a trail of clear liquid behind me.

 

[Saltarius]

"Well, we're clearly not in a relationship...I think. You'd remember me. Trust me. But anyways."

I push the table off of me and fire another two rounds into Paddy's back.

"Aradia was the key. And that bastard took her from me."

 

[MinimanZombie]

Right then, I view the bar exploding, going up in flames. Hundreds of explosives go off around the city. The resistance is finally happening. The plan in motion. A smile enters my lips.

 

[Paddy the Second]

My back arches as the bullets hit, blood trickles slightly from my mouth. "Moves fast." I gurgle. I light a match. "Nice try Salt, but Rat Man already planned this out." I drop it on the floor, it shoots along the trail I left to a puddle in front of the bar, which blooms into flame, engulfing Salt and igniting bottles of alcohol, spreading it further across the bar. I pull myself outside and look at the destruction.

 

[Saltarius]

"Son of a *****."

I run outside and jump into a nearby fountain, barely extinguishing myself. Burn scars cover my body as I vaguely see Zombie in the distance.

"It's not like my life can get any worse."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I see Salt.
"That was easy." I grab a revolver off a nearby soldier, and walk up to Salt.
"Sorry Salt, you need to come with me. There's gonna be an election." I call up Aradia.
"Yo Ar-I mean, Michelle, can you organize a secure resting room for my friend here?" I help Salt into a car, and drive him to my mansion inside the base of the resistance.