Mall Fight!

[Sam G]

I, uh... get shot a lot, and fall from a helicopter. I think I'm dead.
Not for long, though!

 

[Jedamethis]

I fly around, wantonly killing pigeons!

 

[Sam G]

I respawn, riding on the back of a pigeon and holding a sledgehammer. I guide my avian steed towards Jed while screaming, "Kill! Kill!"

 

[Jedamethis]

I tilt a bit so the pigeon will fly into the blades

 

[Sam G]

What blades? Oh right. Those ones.
I disembark my mount and grab onto Jed's ankles, as the pigeon gets chewed up into pulp.

 

[Jedamethis]

I fall out thanks to the extra weight of Sam unbalancing me.

Then the helicopter crashes to the ground

*clap clap*

 

[Sam G]

I spring to my feet, pick up my sledgehammer and fracture Bryghtside's skull with it.

 

[Azraellod]

I hold out my sickle and my electromagnet. I target sam g's hammer, and try to drag him towards me, holding the sickle at neck height.

 

[Jedamethis]

I pick up the skull fragments and make myself a fashionable gauntlet
Then whack Sir with it

 

[Claymorez]

After crawling to the mechanised hugging store to recooperate with magic hugs from robo mom, I set to work building a new mechanised set or bionic legs using my God powers and then set to work looking for THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM (TLCFIC) - however my only clue is Ren's destroyed carcous of a car, and the Pokemon music which is growing in volume. Unfortunately forgetting i'm epileptic I once again have a full blown seizure when I come upon the battle.

 

[Sam G]

I let go of my sledgehammer and it goes flying into Azraellod's face.
"Next time, try sellotaping my hands to the shaft!" I yell triumphantly.

 

[Jedamethis]

Spoiler

I fly around, wantonly killing pigeons!

What are pigeons doing in a mall?!

Spoiler

We're still in the mall? Curse my laziness, as sam was in a helicopter I assumed we were outside

I reason with Sir to work together, and kill everything else!

 

[Azraellod]

After getting my head smashed in, I respawn.

I appear in the woodwork section. After looking around, I grab 2 carving saws [http://www.icesculptingtools.com/hand%20saws%20for%20ice%20carving.JPG] and a bag of chisels [http://www.puppetsinprague.eu/instructions/chisels_for_carving/big/chisels2.jpg]. I head back into the fight, and start to throw my chisels at SirBryghtside.

 

[Jedamethis]

Spoiler

We're still in the mall? Curse my laziness, as sam was in a helicopter I assumed we were outside

Yep - we can't get out, remember?

Spoiler

I thought maybe we were in the parking lot or something....oh well

I curse as Sir throws the ice cream away, then take over, subtlely landing us safely on top of the guy with robot legs.
We then share the ice cream

 

[Sam G]

I burst out of the ice cream, holding a can of hair spray and a lighter. "Happy birthday, motherfuckers!" I yell, then begin igniting things.

 

[Ren3004]

NEVER! I grab Jed from behind, taking him away from the ice cream. Sir stares at me

"You cannot win, Ren, the ice cream is mine! You are defenseless!", he says.
"Am I really?"

Sir looks in horror as I reveal the lightsaber I had lost earlier in my hand... With a swift move, I cut Sir's hand, grab the LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM and kick Sir out of the way.

Using the handcuffs I had taken from the police officer earlier, I hadcuff Sir and Jed to the railing.

 

[Malevolent Stranger]

Malevolent then does the most evil act ever, turns up the heat, melting the final fudge ice cream. He also puts on Scatman, just for larfs.

 

[Jedamethis]

Not even I like me when I'm angry.

HULK SMASH!

 

[Ren3004]

Luckily, as soon as sam started setting things of fire, I ran away into the department store, straight to the ice cream section. I take an isothermal bag and lots of ice, and put the ice cream inside.

Time to hide it.

 

[Malevolent Stranger]

Several Pyros charge Ren, kill him, and incinerate his ice cream, sent by Malevolent, no doubt.