Mall Fight!

[Sam G]

"Hello, I'd like to order some DEATH!" I yell, bursting through the door and firing hundreds of staples in Ren and Claymorez's general direction.

 

[Ren3004]

I hold my co-worker as a shield, and his disguise falls, revealing he is, in fact, claymorez. Shocked with this discovery, I use him as ammo for one of my prototype tanks, and start firing at sam. The tank is so powerful that it wrecks the entire store, making a bunch of live chickens fall through the ceiling.
[sub]We still had chickens, right?[/sub]

 

[Sam G]

I staple all the chickens together into a massive "Chicken Hammer", and whop Ren with it.

 

[Ren3004]

I get knocked out of the tank into the nearest KFC. Without me driving it, the tank self-destructs, taking out sam and the chickens.

 

[Claymorez]

unfortunately for sam g and ren I was catapulted into a grenade dump which I then promptly used to my advantage by pulling the pin out of one of the grenades, running away and throwing it at the dumpt and shouting, "Fried ren anyone"? before the entire weapons section and an innocent KFC is enguilfed in a horrific explosion.

 

[Ren3004]

The explosion scarred the left side of my face, making me go crazy. I pick up a bucket of cooking oil from the KFC, and run around the mall, deciding whether of not to kill someone by flipping a coin burnt on one side.

 

[LordGarbageMan]

I run into the kfc take all the popcorn chicken, while in my scuba suit, then run back into the bed section and jump into my fort.

 

[Ren3004]

I follow GarbageMan into the bed section, flip my coin, then throw my bucket of oil at him.


Then I set the oil on fire.
"BURN, BURN" *evil laughter*

 

[LordGarbageMan]

My scuba suit protects me so that I can crawl out from under one of the beds, but I lose my chicken. As the smell of burning kfc fills the air I run into the hardware section.

 

[Ren3004]

Unfortunately for me, I forgot to flee from the furniture store and perish in the fire.

 

[COR 2000]

I wake up under my previously ordered large M1 Abrams. When I crawl out, I find the entire store a mess, but just shrug it off and drive the M1 Abrams off to a distant fire, AKA the furniture store. I then attack and capture Garbageman's Fortress. Now I have a base of Operations. Now, all I have to do is place an order for a Minion-spawner so that I can rebuild the Pro-COR Army from scratch and take over the mall. Hehehehe... Hahahahaha.... MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! Nyeh!

*Runs away*
[sup]Wait, why did I just run outside of my own fortress?
*Heads back in*[/sup]

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn (with an intact face), just outside the sports store. I take several bowling balls, kerosene and matches.


I then lay siege to COR's fortress, using flaming bowling balls as ammo.

 

[COR 2000]

Gah! My fortress is under attack! I've gotta-

*Doorbell rings*

Oh, jeez, okay, who could that be?

Man: Delivery of a minion-spawner for a Mister COR 2000?

COR: Oh, that's me, that's me right here, I'll sign that! There we go, now I'll be taking this, and tou-de-lou!

Man: Kay, great. [sup]Now how do i get out of this mall?[/sup]

Alright then, lesse... Insert DNA, okay.... Select number of minions... Er, 25000, alright, there we go. Now then, men: Assume defensive positions! Man the Tank! Repel the invader!

 

[Disaster Button]

I crawl out of my frozen snow kingdom in the freezer section and launch Icicles like A storm of arrows which impale Cor and Ren.

 

[Ren3004]

My kerosene enhanced bowling balls seem to be effective at defeating the minion hordes, but I still can't break down the fort. Luckily, I had brought some nitroglycerin with me.


My explosive bowling ball breaches COR's fort and destroys the minion-spawner. This causes a chain reaction (because there's always a chain reaction somewhere) and blows up the entire fort.

I then use one of my flaming bowling balls to kill COR, saying "STRIKE!" And them I'm impaled by icicles. I really have to stop with the jokes.

 

[COR 2000]

Defeated, I retreat back to the Tank Shop to build a new fort from scratch. Despite it being abandoned, I still feel a sense of great peril, so I seal myself inside the shop and to distract everyone else, I capture Disaster button, push him, and by doing so call in a chinese invasion of the mall(Here's what the invasion looks like. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNXZlooCvDs])

Now I build up my armies and my empire.....

 

[Ren3004]

The icicles kill the invaders. I grab a secret weapon and set camp outside COR's tank shop.

 

[Disaster Button]

I retreat back to the Frozen Kingdom/Section and build up my army of Evil Snowmen. And to drown my sorrows in ice cream.

 

[Ren3004]

They seem to be opening the doors. Time to use my secret weapon.

"CHARIZARD, I CHOOSE YOU!"

Charizard burns down the remains of the tank shop, destroying COR's empire and killing him and his minions.

I then direct him to Disaster's Frozen Kingdom.

Unfortunately, Charizard ignores my orders and starts killing everyone around the mall. So, uh... there's a fire-breathing pokemon out of control in the mall...

[sub]Sorry...[/sub]

 

[Sam G]

I hop on Charizard's back and force a Mind-Control Staple into it's brain, turning him into my minion. That done, I fly around on his back, torching things, firing staples at people and laughing manically.